children

[PinkEmily]

Im 26 and was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer last year. I had to have a hysteractomy obviously this was very distressing especially due to my age, I always thought I had plenty of time to have have children and am finding the fact that I cant very difficult. All I ever dreamed about was having a baby. Even the fact that I still look like me from the outside cannot stop me feeling that Im missing something that Im old before my time, that Im not a women anymore. If there is anyone who has been in a similar position I would love to hear from u xx

[wendydee]

Hi Emily

I'm so sad to hear about your diagnosis. I went through my 30's, 40's waiting each month for a sign of pregnancy. It never happened and I had a hysterectomy at the age of 52 after being diagnosed with stage 1 ovarian cancer. Unlike you, I had time to slowly come to terms with never being able to have children (which I never did come to terms with), but I can empathise a little. It still feels unfair though. I wonder if your local specialist gynae/oncology nurse can put you in touch with anyone to talk to. I didn't want formal counselling but have found talking to others who have been through gynae cancers very helpful. Is there a support group run by your local hospital? I find ours a really good on-going help. Also the nurses at Ovacome are there to talk through some of the problems on a Mon to Fri 9-5 basis. They may be able to offer you some ideas for helping you through this. It may never be easy, but there may be a way that you can appreciate other aspects of your life.

Sorry I can't help with direct experience of what you're going through. Stay as positive as you can. Keep in touch

Wendy xx

[Pinzerino]

Hi,

I'm 23 and have just finished treatment for a stage 3C ovarian germ cell tumour. Although I still have my womb and one ovary I have had so much chemo including high dose that I am now infertile.

I know what you mean, all I have ever wanted is a family and children but I had to take the decisions on whether to attempt to preserve fertility. For a huge number of reasons this just wasn't an option.

I don't have any answers but I know how you feel.

Out of curiousity was it 'normal' ovarian cancer you had or one of the rare ones?lx

[Hidden in reply to Pinzerino]

hi, im 24 and was diagnosed in october with ovarian cancer (epithelial). i cant believe how many young women are going through this. i had surgery in november and start chemo next week. its devastating the thought of not being able to have children. its having something taken away and having no control over it. i try and focus on positives but its hard. it does help to talk to others though. xxx

[PinkEmily in reply to Pinzerino]

Thank you so much for answering my question, knowing that I am not all alone out there is a comfort. Was mucinous epithelial ovarain cancer. I didnt know there were so many different types. xx

[Joelle]

Hi Emily,

I'm sorry that you have had this diagnosis.

After my diagnosis and subsequent hysterectomy (at 32), it didn't hit me for a little while that my fertility was gone (the whole treatment process was all I thought about). I am now 4 years down the line and as lame as it sounds "time" really does heal (or did for me). I now see the hysterectomy as one of things that has given me that time and am thankful.

Give yourself time to mourn what you have lost, seek support/counselling if you think that might help. Try to do as many things ,however small, that you enjoy, treat yourself and try to take back some pleasure in life. Most of all don't be too hard on yourself, it's Ok to feel like this, you have been through a lot.

Sorry if I have rambled on but I wish you all the best,

Joelle

[dundeegirl]

Dear Emily,

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I hope you've found some help in the kind comments from the Ovacome members. I know Ovacome has been a real support to me since I was diagnosed.

I think I know what you're going through. I was diagnosed very suddenly with borderline ovarian cancer last May and had to have my ovaries removed (age 33). My husband and I had just settled in a new city and were ready to start trying for a baby, which was our most precious desire. Then bang! I got diagnosed.

Luckily for me, the doctors managed to save some eggs before removing my ovaries, and I've been allowed to keep my uterus for now, although I will need to have a hysterectomy sooner rather than later. Like you, I feel like a different person on the inside and the outside. I'm going through the menopause prematurely. And like you, being a mum is the most important thing to me. Getting ovarian cancer was devastating because of the impact on my fertility, more than the fact it was cancer. I didn't care so much about me, but just about whether I could still be a mum some day.

I know it is a very dark place and there's nothing anyone can say that can make that go away. But we are both still women, and you can still be a mum when you're ready. There are always options. I've been told about surrogacy and adoption as options and I think if you really want to be a mum there's no reason why not, even if it is in a different way to the one we might have imagined. But getting to that point takes time too. Like Joelle said, doing nice things for yourself in the meantime, treating yourself, and looking for local support can help. And talk to me through Ovacome any time too.

Thinking of you lots Emily and sending you lots of love,

Cat xxx

[PinkEmily]

Thank you so much to everyone that has answered, your comments mean a lot to me so thank you.

Emily xx