Feeling quite hopeless again

[rosebine]

after reading posts on here most of you have had surgery and even though you have had reoccurrences have had quite a long time since diagnosis. I cant have surgery and feel that due to the size of the tumours( think melon ) I have not much hope of keeping going for very long. Im havin g chemo again( dont know if its working at all yet) but the dread is permanently part of me. Havin g to plan my own funeral and associated winding up of my estate, and also rehoming my beloved dog is having a real toll on my mental health.

[Katmal-UK]

Hi I can hear how you are feeling through your post. Do you have anyone you can speak to? Maybe give Anna a ring at Ovacome or Macmillen. So want to reach out and give you a hug. xx Kathy xx

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Dear rosebine

I am really sorry to read how you're feeling. Please do get in touch with us if you want to talk anything through. You can private message us through this forum, email [e-mail] or call 07503 682 311. We are available Monday-Friday 10am-5pm. We are here to support you.

Do you think it would be helpful to speak to a professional, such as a counsellor or psychologist? Your oncology team or GP may be able to refer you. If private sessions were an option you could search for a local therapist on the BACP website: bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

We have various online support sessions happening each week , which you can see on our website here: ovacome.org.uk/staying-conn... as well as our regular groups: ovacome.org.uk/Pages/Catego... If you have any questions about any of the sessions do let me know, I'm happy to talk with you to give you an idea of how they run. Our groups, like this forum, are where you can get support from our friendly, kind and knowledgeable members.

Please do contact us if there is anything we can help with.

Best wishes

Anna

Ovacome Support

[delia2]

Hi. I get your pain and your obsession with dying. I was in that state for a few months until I was lucky enough to go on Olaparib and to hope it may work for a long time. It seems like you are dealing with both psychological and physical issues that are both very difficult. Maybe a referral to palliative care or hospice (not in terms of dying but for resources) could help with support. Anna has given good suggestions for emotional support. You need to be able to express your fears and worries. Maybe you could make contingency plans for your dog but keep him/her with you. I worry about my dog too. I have a husband but he’s not really involved with the dog. He can’t walk him and has never gone beyond feeding him.

I don’t know if you’d be up for it but there’s a book I found helpful called Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. Some chapters aren’t so relevant, about social arrangements for the elderly, but the main focus is on clarifying one’s goals for the end of life. For example whether living longer is more important or not suffering (I’m definitely in the quality over quantity camp). But you can’t have quality of life when you’re suffering mental anguish. Please try to get some counseling or a support group and feel free to express your negative emotions here. Sending hugs.

[Differentforgirls]

My heart goes out to you & hope you are able to get help & support very soon xx

[27-359]

What you are feeling is completely understandable, but you really need some support with this. I know that you were referred to the hospice, and think that now is the time you should be asking for help.

Living on your own as we do, leaves us alone with our thoughts too much. You need the opportunity to talk through your concerns, so please reach out and get some help from whatever source you can.

Jenny

[HJF123]

I am so sorry Rosebine. I pray you are getting much support from family, friends and your cancer team. Sending much love and strength. xx

[Broader]

Hi so sorry to hear you are going through the mill.

Firstly I was told I had 4 months to live (almost 2 years ago ) so take heart they don’t always know !

I was told I was end of life and to get my will written and my funeral planned, I was quite obsessed that my death was imminent.... but here I am 2 years on nearly. secondly I couldn’t / can’t have surgery .... in lots of ways I’m pleased (I wasn’t happy at the time) the operation can cause more problems and take a lot of fighting back to health, please don’t see that as negative,

They may well have done you a favour.

Let’s hope the treatment you are having gives you a good long break.

I did eventually calm down and now I don’t let it overshadowed my life.

I do hope you get to this stage quicker than I did.

This is not the end keep pushing forward, don’t let it grind you down.

Thinking of you

Christine x

[Lizzieanne]

Just want to send my support. Some lovely advice on here. Think keeping your lovely dog with some help with maybe volunteer walker would give you some peace of mind. If you cant manage looking after him can you speak to an animal charity who will have coped with this before for help support and advice. I have recurrence and dont want to be given a time on my life because I would start to think I only have x amount of time left. I was given five years 18 years ago. No cure now but hope I will get some remission. Everyone on here will do their best to support you. I know I am lucky that I have my husband here and want to acknowledge how very very hard it must be on your own. X

[fendweller]

I can't offer any more that the other ladies that have replied ,but I want you to know I understand and care ,sending you love and hope you find some peace of mind .xx

Cheryl.

[juliamillen]

So sorry to hear the difficult situation you are in. You are in my thoughts.

[Neona]

I am trying to think of a charity that would help with the cost of having a daily dog walker. Maybe approach the council for help with personal care? The council fitted a keysafe for my parents so that carers could get in and she paid a dog walker so we always knew the dog would be safe. As for the operation mine was successful but the cancer had all grown back by the end of my frontline chemo so I was advised that there was no point in further operations. Sending love , Wendy

[candyapplegrey]

So sorry to hear this. Can you ask your team if they know what effect the chemo is having? This is rich coming from me because I'm terrified of asking my team anything.

Others have mentioned Macmillan who have teamed up with BUPA to offer free counselling sessions to cancer patients - it's via phone though. But I've got the most support from talking to the Macmillan advisers, particularly on clinical stuff.

I know other people who've been told straight off book your place in the hospice who are still going strong.

Will pray for you and I'm sure that if necessary, the RSPCA will rehome your dog.

Can also recommend again 'Radical Remission' by Kelly Turner, which has lots of alternative stuff to try if medical plans don't work out.

Lots of love

Candy

xx

[MarleyZ]

Do not give up by all means plan but don't give up keep fighting no matter what ..praying the chemo works for you ..speak to someone if you can either on here or at Macmillan if you have a CNS speak to them please.

[Lizzieanne]

Rosebine hope you are feeling a bit better and have been able to find help regarding your lovely dog. I now have a friend in a similar position so we have been having gentle chats about her beloved dog. Sending a hug x