tearful and sad after remission

[carolpat]

Is it normal to feel so tearful and sad. I have been in remission for 4 months now. I had grade 3b ov had debaulking surgery and 6 carbo/taxol. I stayed strong and determined during my treatment and never allowed myself to get weepy or feel sorry for myself. A positive attitude is the only way to go. Now I keep going to pieces.

[Hidden]

I am not there in official remission where you are - yet - hoping to be after new year. But have been thinking a lot about "after" now I am daring to think of the future again.

We have to learn to cope with a new reality I think - a new "normal" has to evolve. That is bound to be hugely unsettling. I am an emotional mess sometimes in normal life - I tend to let frustrations and fears build and burst in anger, rather than getting the weepies - and can certainly see a few episodes on my horizon. I have kept it together relatively well while dealing with it all was active and treatment was happening. It started to feel under some control... Am far more scared of the after-phase where I will just be left to wait and hope... A long way around of saying it sounds perfectly reasonable to me... Good to let it out though too, I suspect. If you feel sad, go for it and have that cry - bottling things up cannot be good. Posting here is a good thing too. Remember: you aren't alone.

Sue

xxxx

[carolpat in reply to Hidden]

I know this is the hardest part now. We feel alone but we aren't , thank goodness for sites like this. I wish you all the luck in the world and the new year will bring you remission. love Carolxxx

[Hidden]

I agree with Sue this is perfectly normal, you have had a big shock and then with the flurry of treatment you didn't really have time to think about it,afterwards when it all stops disbelief sets in (a bit like post traumatic stress) give yourself time and if you want a good cry have one best wishes love x G x

[carolpat]

I know you are right but I can't help thinking I should be so happy having gotten this far. Last christmas I wasn't sure I would be here this year. Thanks for telling me its ok, sometimes we dont want to appear weak in front of our families. Have a wonderful christmas.

Carolxxx

[michelle2]

Hi, I too feel exactly the same way, was fine through chemo, almost upbeat and keeping positive. I finished chemo in August and went into remission, however like you quite tearful now. I try and keep myself busy to take my minds off things and cramm the days full of things to do, which unfortunately ends up making me tired which makes me low and I end up teary again. Vicious circle! I feel like I've lost my lightheadedness and need some fun in my life, so have planned a few things for next year to look forward to. I felt exactly the same way last time I finished chemo and knew I would feel like this this time, but slowly I know I will get my old self back and so will you..... It is a shock we've been through and its got to come out somehow. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, but try and do some new things. I'm not sure where you are based, but I joined a local support group for ladies with cancer and found it really helped talking about it to others. This website is also brilliant to get things off your chest. Take care you're not alone, we ladies are right there behind you. x

[carolpat]

Hi Michelle, so nice to know someone else feels the same way. Started feeling very ungrateful. I am always busy now, I make sure that I have something to do everyday. You are right keeping busy is the best medicine. I also feel like there is so much I need to do with my life while I can. I will look into seeing if there is a support group around my way. Sounds like a really positive idea. Thankyou so much for your input i really appreciate it nice to know I am not alone with this. Happy Christmas love Carol xx

[Hidden in reply to carolpat]

Shush with the ungrateful! You shouldn't have to feel that, something totally shite happened to you and, frankly, I am amazed at all of us getting through it all with as much good grace and humour as we do!! Pardon my French. This is a reaction, totally understandable, and prt of the same overall process - not something you are exactly indulging in! Stop beating yourself up. Crying is cathartic and often a positive thing. Me, I tend to shout, throw and smash things :-0. But it relieves tension!!

Sorry for the slightly silly tone here but I was having a wobbly think about next year myself last night - but then woke up in a bullish mood!!

Sue

xxx (plus hug)

[Hidden]

I think your reaction is something we all recognise. It's a bit like going through the stages of a grieving process. Don't beat yourself up about it. You will adjust to your new situation. We've all lost something, but in a strange way, after a while, you realise you've also gained something in terms of your outlook on life. I'm sure you'll find that in a while you can start to enjoy your remission. Hope this helps a bit.

Linda xx

[Hidden]

Support groups are wonderful at making you see things from other angles, Ovacome have some groups that you can find listed on their pages. often support groups build through local communities, You dont say where you are, but We have a very active group for people in the Chichester area which caters for everybody and gives people activities, coffee mornings, etc as well as counselling and therapies if people need them. A wonderful asset to any community.

[Erixka]

Dear Carol,

I'm so glad that you are in remission! That's wonderful news! Your message is s brave and I think it's a sign of your new normal.... After weathering the storm, you came out on the other side and now suddenly you have a moment to relax for the first time. This moment of sudden quiet seems to have let in a flood of very normal feelings. I haven't arrive there yet so I can't speak from experience. I offer you my warmest thoughts and prayers. I think you are a strong person and I hope that being in touch with your feelings only brings y more strength.

Hugs,

Erika

[fannyanny]

It is perfectly normal to feel down sometimes... look what you have been thruough? I was given remission last Dec.. it came back in June.. more chemo and now in remission AGAIN!! I think you have to find that new normal situ and just hope for long remissions so that you can get on and enjoy life?? Take a deep breath and have a lovely Christmas and likewise to all the ladies out there who have this bloody awful thing. Please let there be some breakthroughs in 2013!! x

[carolpat in reply to fannyanny]

You sound very brave and I know after all your emails that I am going to be fine.

I think I will join a support group it sounds a great idea. Yes we have to adjust and yes we feel differently about life. I think that is probably a good thing. Have certainly got different priorities now. So happy to still being here this christmas. Hope you all have a wonderful christmas and an amazing healthy New Year. My love to you all Carolxxx