Hi Ladies, Did anyone feel sad and low after chemo had ended.

[angelina]

I couldn't wait for my last chemo session and thought another couple of months off work and I would be back to my old jolly self.Unfortunately my onc wont let me return to work until november, (That will be 12Months away from work)

[Hidden]

Dear Angelina,

I think it is natural for you to feel like this.....don't forget you've been on a roller coaster and have had hardly any time to think.. then when treatment stops...the shock of it all sets in.. more people feel like this than you realise..it's like a grieving process.. but it will get better.. be gentle with yourself.. have a good cry if you want to (crying is a gift)..try and do things to cheer yourself up...write a list on what you think would cheer you up..and don't be in too much of a rush to return to work (easier said than done) I am thinking of you and send you love and best wishes x G x

[angelina in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Gwen,

Your right its a lot like grieving, I have said to my sister I feel just like when we lost

mum. (Which was a long time ago). As for returning to work, Tuesday was my

official retiring date but last year (before this had happened) I had arranged to cut

my hours back and work part time.It does help knowing other people have had the

same feelings I'm going through.

Love A x

[nandi]

I remember feeling so down after I finished 1st line treatment. As Gwyn says the shock really hits. Before you were involved in tolerating the treatment and looking forward to getting back to normal. My GP prescriped a very mild anti anxiety med. which I had at first resisted. Have to say it helped me get things in perspective and move on.

Take care of yourself and know its normal, xx

[angelina in reply to nandi]

Oh thanks so much for your advice. I too am 61 and having oc has made me think

gosh am I getting old. I know its silly as I really feel "41" When I discovered I had OC it was such a shock but I didn't let it get to me as I knew I had a big journey to get through.Everyone said I was so brave as I kept really positive about my op and chemo.

I will take your advice and see my GP if things don't improve in the near future.

Love A x

[ladygooner-uk]

Hi, I too felt really down, I think it was because I had nothing to focus on, during chemo you focus so much on keeping well, and you are doing something psychologically,that when you finish there's nothing to focus on, so the full horror of what has happened can hit. As the others have said, be gentle with yourself and allow the feelings to come and pass- they will.

Lots of love and hugs

Sue

X

[angelina in reply to ladygooner-uk]

Thanks Sue for your advice.Think I would feel better if I had returned to work.It was such a shock to have another 6mths off.The girls at work think im sad as they would be glad to be off work (But they dont really understand what I am feeling like) Did you find people would say to you OH YOU DO LOOK WELL even though you are feeling

sooo exhausted.I just smile sweetly and think you have no idea !!!!! Anyway I'm off

to do a bit of retail therapy today - hope I can find something good.

Love A x

[Hidden in reply to angelina]

Dear Angelina

Now that's a good Idea "Retail Therapy" MmMm-mm...I find it cheers you up even if you don't buy (if you can get over the tiredness) I know what you mean about going out to work.. It does help.. I was desperate to carry on working after I was first diagnosed..but when I had a recurrence I finally admitted defeat...but try not to go back too soon... I am probably older than you and it was time for me to finish anyway but I loved my job.. love x G x

[Hidden]

Hi Angelina

You are not alone in this feeling as you can see. When you are going through the chemo you are focused on dealing with everything, when mine ended I felt a bit 'cut adrift'. What next?? I think that's when the shock set in. However, use this time to regain your strength and just take is easy on yourself. I went back to work after 8 months off work (this was from diagnosis) and it was quite difficult to cope with. In the end I negotiated a 2 day week. Less money but more quality of life. I am almost 2 years in remission and have only just started to feel almost back to 'normal'.

Love and hugs Chris x x

[angelina in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Chris for your reply,

It seems my feelings are more common than I thought. Its the empty feeling that gets to me - and my life will never be the same again after this!!! My poor husband must be having a tough time with all this but he doesn't complain .Thing is the flippin weather doesnt help ' where is all this rain coming from' I live in sunny devon Ha Ha !!! haven't seen any for weeks.

Love A x

[Hidden in reply to angelina]

Hi Angelina

I live in the 'sunny south' near the New Forest and I've never seen rain like this in July ever. I spend a lot of time looking at sunshine holidays on the pc. Only came back from Mallorca about 3 weeks ago but craving some sun again. Shame really 'cos I love this country when the sun shines. Love Devon, especially Darmouth but every time we go there it rains!! Ah well, maybe a late Summer this year. Take care

Chris x

[ScardyCat40]

I felt abandoned and a bit suicidal. Had my anti depressants increased and had counselling

[angelina in reply to ScardyCat40]

I have received an appointment today from my onc to speak to someone in

counselling. Haven't decided yet wether to go - dont know if it will help me.

Sorry to hear of yours news but lets hope after your scans you will get some

good news. Try not to worry, I know its hard. x

[ScardyCat40 in reply to angelina]

Accept all the support you can get

[Didy]

Hi Angelina

I too finished my first line of chemo in Dec 2011, having had surgery and 6 sessions of chemo, after the treatment I feld exactly the same as you, I felt depressed and abandoned. In the end I went on a anti depressant and it has helped me. My daughter said today that she can see the difference in the way I am. I resisted taken them for a few months, because I thought I could do it without any chemical help, but sometimes we have to have some help and I'm glad I took the anti depressent, I wasn't offered any counselling at all. I don't want to stay on them for a long time but I have given myself 12 months and then I maybe more able to cope without anti depressants.

This type of forum really helps as well because it makes you realise that others are going through the same and that the way we feel is normal.

Love

Didy

[angelina in reply to Didy]

Hi Didy

Thanks for your reply.It does help knowing that others have felt the same as me after chemo as I was quite shocked with the reaction I was having.

I am trying to focus on one day at a time and setting myself goals for each day ( Only small ones as I get extremely tired) but I think it is helping. My sister is coming to stay

for a few weeks so will see how I feel after that.

Angelina x