Scared

[Gilly44]

Hi everyone..

This is my first post on here.. I used to visit Ovacome all the time when I was first diagnosed by I guess I just got on with my life.

This is my potted history... through a routine smear test in 2007 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Borderline and Stage 1 'proper' ovarian cancer. I had a full hysterectomy followed by 6 sessions of Carboplatin.. I had 3 monthly checks for a year and am now on 6 monthly checks... depending whether you start counting from diagnosis or end of treatment, I am either 4 or 3 years survivor. I have read man of the posts on here and can associate with so many of your questions..

I guess why I am here is that I have been having cramps, not paid but like nerves in my stomach... a general uneasiness.. I (sorry) have wind and my stomach is growling between meals. I had my last check in February with my oncologist but it is a physical exam rather than a blood test. In the time since I finished treatment I have had a scan and various blood tests which have been fine.

I am scared truthfully.. I know that I have got this far and that this is not necessarily my cancer returning but I have felt so alone.. Finding this site today seems like heaven on earth as I can speak to like minded people going through the same thing as me.

I think I am going to ask the hospital to bring forward my appointment.. my oncologist is very good like that...

Has anyone had the disease return? What symptoms did you have?

If anyone is in my area please feel free to contact me.. would love to meet up and share stories.

Luv

Gilly

[Hidden]

Dear Gilly,

Of course you are scared!

All of your symptoms could easily be nothing to do with recurring cancer, but why torture yourself with worry? If your CA125 was a marker, ask your GP for a test - you could have the result by tomorrow!!

Or contact your Oncologist and tell them you have worrying symptoms. They will not be fed up if the symptoms turn out to be nothing to do with cancer - more so if they do because you've tried to ignore them. There is no point in burying your head in the sand and worrying; that will make your life a misery!

Very best wishes,

Isadora

[Gilly44]

Hi Isadora

Thanks for replying... I have been to see my GP today.. she is lovely. She said if anyone else displayed the symptoms I have it could be IBS and she couldn't feel anything in my stomach. I am very stressed and I know there is a link.. She has said to watch and monitor for the next 2 weeks and then she will refer me back to the hospital.

I dont know why I dont get a regular CA125 test done like many on here but it just doesn't seem to be the practice at Boston hospital? Like you say it is a quick way to ease your mind.

She did say that 2-3 years is when there is more chance of it returning.. oh dear. Bowel cancer is what worries me... as I know that the scan I have had doesn't pick it up and you have to have the internal camera. I'm not vain though and no matter what 'orifice' they wish to examine I dont mind if it gives me peace of mind. (LOL)

I am trying to calm down but it is so difficult.. I am such an emotional person. They were saying about hypnosis for cancer patients on the TV this morning.. might give it a go.

I will keep you informed what happens.

Gilly

[Gilly44]

Just to add to this I thought I was OK but I have totally freaked out at work this PM crying...and had to come home. I cant face 2 weeks not knowing so I have rang my oncologist and described my symptoms and they have made me an appointment for Friday. I am worried even more that they have put me in so fast... !!

[wendydee]

Hi Gilly!

We all go through panic mode sometimes, so feel free to freak out whenever you need to. The point is, you have done something about it. Your oncology team are eager to reassure, if they are anything like mine! They really do understand what we go through, there's a lot of work being done on "survivorship" and the emotions we feel. I go to some meetings in my area, so I have direct info. That's probably why they are referring you quickly. I had a major panic over a year ago and got referred quickly for two different types of scan, internal examinations, CA125, the works! It was not anything serious, after all and an appointment with a menopause clinic has eased my symptoms. Is there a specialist nurse you can ring about hypnosis? It may help. Good luck

love Wendy xx

[Gilly44]

Thanks Wendy... took a day off work to chill and relax today and I dont work on a Wednesday do before I know it I will be at the hospital. I have been pretty stressed with my workload and also due to a restructure at work and I know all of this can contribute so fingers crossed.

[Gilly44]

Been to the hospital today and as I suspected I have to have another CT scan and a CA125 test... My oncologist is lovely but she is the master of 'not giving anything away'... I try to read her face but she gives nothing.. Which is good but sometimes so frustrating. I guess she can only deal in facts and in this fame supposition is a big no no.

So more waiting I'm afraid but the last time I had a scan it came back OK...

Fingers and everything else crossed...