Im heartbroken

Hi my ovacome friends. Remember me? I posted on 22nd March i was in remission from o/c

I do know that this isnt the right place to be posting this but i consider you all my friends. My Son passed away on 28th March aged 32yrs. I am devastated and dont know what to do. Oh God how can you do this to me???? It should have been me why tell me why it wasnt!!

My faith,hope and dreams anre in pieces and i really cant carry on. I was the one who also posted how afraid i was of dying,well no more it would be a relief to be away from this heartache.

As i said i know this is wrong site but you are my friends and i need your hugs ,love and support. Im sorry

Love to you all

Lynn XXXX

35 Replies

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  • Im truly sorry for your loss some things we have to face in life are unbearable

    we can only believe that this is all part of some master plan,

    I am sure of one thing, death is not the end, has you will see when your time comes.. my prayers are with you x

  • Oh Lynn!

    I cannot say anything that will make it even a bit better right now. All I can do is send you a big hug across all these miles and tell you that I am thinking of you. You will find the strength to cope with what seems unbearable and I truly believe (although I am not traditionally religious) that we do not die, we just go somewhere else until we meet again, in some other time and place and form. Hugs to you

    Love Wendy xx

  • Dear Lynn,

    To lose a parent is hard, so I can see to lose a child must indeed be devastating. I am so, so sorry. I hope you and your family can pull together to get through this time. You must also look after yourself, Lynn because you are vulnerable now. I am sure your Son would not have wanted you to feel you can not carry on. I know the one thing that comforts me is that those around me are OK and life will continue when I have gone. It will take a long, long time to find a way forward and this is very early days, so I am sending you love, hugs and an ear anytime you want it.

    Love Lizzie

    X

  • Hi Lynn

    I am also so terribly sorry to hear this , after all you have been through. I am sure your son was so proud of his wonderful Mum . As the other girls say please please try to look after yourself, loosing a child must the very very worst thing that anybody can go through.

    Sending you massive cyberhugs.

    Lots and lots of love

    Charlie xxx

  • DEAR Lynn,

    This is NOT the wrong site! I am so sorry; of course you are devastated!

    How cruel life can be......

    I pray (hope; wish- whatever is right for you) that you can find some refuge from this pain. I know that it is not possible to imagine at this time....so; I send my deeply felt love and sympathy...

    Isadora xx.

  • Lynn, I'm so so sorry for your loss,the worst thing in the world is to loose a child, I havent got any amazing remedy to help with your pain, except to say I'm sure he woul'nt want you to give up,my thoughts are with you and GREAT big hugs, lots of love Sue xxxx

  • Dear Lynn

    What can I say? That will make things better "nothing" I am so so sorry for your very sad loss my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    You have come to the right place.

    Love xx Gwyneth xx

  • Dear Lynn,

    I am so sorry for you and the loss of your son. To lose a child must be the most heartbreaking experience for you to go through. My thoughts are with you and your family at this tragic time . Please take care of your self and just take a day at a time . Life is a bitch sometimes.

    Lots of love

    Suzie Que

    xxxxxx

  • Dear Lynn,My heart goes out to you,so sorry for your sad loss ,to lose a child must be unbearable. Sending you love and hugs, Take care , Sue xx

  • Dear Lynn I'm just so very very sorry. I can think of nothing worse. please try and take care of yourself.

    Love Marilyn

  • I am so so sorry to hear of your loss look after yourself xxxxxx Kate

  • Dear Lynn

    No words can take away your pain, I cannot even begin to know how you must feel. All we can do is to surround you with love.

    love Suex

  • Dear Lynn,

    I'm so sorry for your loss, my brother and his wife lost their son at 24 years of age in 1995, he is always remembered and still talked of frequently, they somehow survived and learned to live with the terrible loss, please dont give up. Sending lots of love xxx

    George x

  • I am so so sorry for you Lynne. I'm in the middle of chemo and have just lost my father and my pet labrador, but nothing can be as bad as losing a child, my heart goes out to you. Please God you will get through the difficult times ahead with the love and support of all those who care about you.

    Liz XXX

  • Dear Lynnrsa,

    I do so know what you are going thru as I lost my daughter to o.c. 6 years ago. She was 38 and left 3 children under 16 & a new husband of 3 days. Nothing anyone says can give you consolation just now, even after all this time I find myself just breaking down in tears, but seeing what she went thru in her last days could not be wished on your worst enemy so when she decided she had had enough, we all saw it was time for her to go.You don't say what your son died from. I do hope he did not suffer. We were in the position that we had to be strong to help the children & their dads get through. I'm sure that's how we coped.

    Give in to your grief, for now don't try to be strong. They say time heals everything. It doesn't, it just gives you the space to accept. When you feel able, get out all the photos, mementos etc and think about all the good & happy times you had with him. I do hope you will, in time, find more to laugh about than cry.

    With my own tears in my eyes, Jennie.

  • ~Dear Lynn

    I am so desperately sorry to hear about your son and the pain you are now having to endure. I can only imagine that it must be a struggle to get through hours and minutes when your grief is overwhelming.

    I am glad you felt you wanted to tell us. You will need to reach out for comfort from all those around you. Keep talking to God even if it is just to keep asking why.

    Love Sarah

  • Dear Lynn,

    I can only endorse what Sarah said " keep talking to God"

    I am still praying for you and your family x love Gwyneth x

  • Dear Lynn,

    Words cannot even begin to help you at this very very sad time, I often ask myself why life is so cruel sometimes and i can only come up with something someone else has already said to you, that it is part of some master plan. I Hope and pray for you to get through this, and i hope you find the strength to keep your self well i am sure you son would want you to stay well. We are all here for you to talk to or shout at when you feel angry.

    may your son rest in peace.

    all my love right now

    suzanne. xxxxxxx

  • Dear Lynn

    I'm really very sorry to hear your terrible news. You must still be numb with shock and your emotions will be on a roller-coaster. Your son's death is just too cruel to comprehend.

    I'm glad you think of us as your friends and have been able to share you grief with us. I do hope the messages from all your friends on Ovacome are some sort of comfort to you at this really terrible time.

    with love xxxx Annie

  • Dear Lynn ,

    So very sorry to hear about the loss of your son .

    Thinking about xxx

    Love Janet xxxx

  • Lynn, I am so sorry and incredibly sad to hear your news.

    Love Sharon

  • My dear Lynn

    I'm so very sorry to read your heartbreaking news. My sisterly love, comforting hugs and prayers are with you. Meryl. Xxxxxxx

  • Dear Lynn

    I am really sorry to hear of the terrible pain of your son's death

    coming so quickly on top of what seemed like better times for you.Sometimes we cannot understand and can only trust that there is some purpose to this though that is very hard to do.Please take care of yourself as your son would wish you to do. I pray that in time good memories of him will help to comfort you. Love and sympathy. - B

  • Dear Lynn

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I can only imagine the pain you must be going through. I can't think of anything worse. Love and hugs to you.

    Chris x x x

  • Thank you all so much for all your kind thoughts and messages.

    Glynns funeral was yesterday and the cathedral was full he was such a wonderful person and oh so loved. He was only 32yrs old and i can only say it should have been me there not him. I know im in remission from my o/c but at this moment i can only wish that it was me not my baby. It doesnt matter how old your children are they will always be your babies.

    Oh God i love him so much and the pain i feel is unreal. As i said before i know this is the wrong site to be writing about the loss of a child but you people are my friends and i love you all.

    His little girl who is 6yrs old asked me if she can call her Daddy now hes an angel in heaven. What do you say to that?

    His wife left him to be with my daughters husband when my daughter was 7 months pregnant(I know this sounds unreal) and it broke his heart. He died from a broken heart and loved her still.

    The whole story is heartbreaking( I was told no wonder i have cancer) but too much detail to put on here. But i wanted you all to know. I dont have a lot of friends in South Africa as they,ve all left to go back home.

    Im sorry for dragging this on but once again my dear friends i thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and love even though i dont know you.

    Love you all,

    Lynn XXXXX

  • Dear Lynn,

    Thank you so much for that reply,and keeping us up to date with how you are, I think I can speak for us all when I say there's not a day gone by when I haven't thought of you and your family....... Please try and keep strong as the rest of your family will need you more now than ever.... I know being strong is easier said than done.... My thoughts and prayers are with you love xx Gwyneth xx

  • Dear Lynn,

    You have been through so much. It's good to hear from you. I was wondering how things are with you. You have a lot of grieving, thinking and healing to do but your memories of your wonderful son will carry you. Just know that there are a lot of us on here who are thinking of you and sending you hugs across the miles

    Love, Wendy xx

  • Hi all hope you all ok,

    sorry to say but its getting harder and harder to cope. After the shock the heartache starts oh and God does it hurt,with all his stuff round thehouse and finding little things belonging to him.

    Someone said it was sure to bring my cancer back dont know if thats true but trying to come to terms with that also. I have lost parents brothers and a sister but the pain of losing your child is devastating. There were no goodbyes he went so quick. Some things are a blur but maybe its good that i cant remember them. The one hurtful thing was the tears in the eyes of his little girl,when she askes if she could talk to her Daddy in heaven on phone That added to the pain. If my cancer does come back (i go back on 10th May) then well i dont know what i,ll do as at this moment all i want to do is be with my Son. Its not a good situation to be in and the decision i have to make is hard that is whether or not to carry on.

    My post is most depressing and im truly sorry but nothing can mend a broken heart. My love and hugs come to you all and i thank you all for yours. Weird you dont even know me but you all care so much Thank you

    Love always

    Lynn xxxxxx

  • Hi Lynn,

    I don't know the circumstances surrounding your Son's death, but it sounds like you have grandchildren and other children who you have everything to live for. Mourning the loss of your Son is very normal and wanting to make everything right, but I hope you find the strength and support from those around you to get through this horrendous time and in turn those who you can still be with you. I don't think this will make your cancer come back, it is far more complex than that in my opinion, but being strong is definately an asset.

    Love Lizzie

    X

  • Hi Lizzie,thanks for reply. My Son died of systolic heart failure he was 32. It is extremely difficult to explain the void you feel. I do have 2 other children and i have 3 grand children but the way i am now i am of no help or happiness to them. My Sons little girl he didnt see often but at the funeral she asked if she could phone her Daddy in heaven. She ws his world he loved her so much. I cant cope Lizzie and have lost all hope all the fight in me is gone. I cant go to his room its too painful. at this moment i want to be with him You see he was my best friend we would sit and cry and laugh together for hours and he was always there for me and me for him. Im angry at God and i told our priest so. Why me? Havent i had enough? In 4 yrs i have been thru a suicide attempt, 2 car accidents (not me any of these) 2 terrible divorces(my sons wife and daughters husband went off together when my daughter was 7mths pregnant) I get diagnosed with NHL in 2009 go into remission. Last year i get zapped with o/c then my brother died and my dog and now i lose a part of me my Son. Do you really think i can carry on? I cant Lizzie suicide seems the easy way out but im a catholic and its totally taboo. Im trying to believe that one day i will be with Glynn again but at this moment its too difficult for me. I am sorry im so morbid but its so hard Love and hugs Lynn XX

  • I am glad you have someone to talk to in your priest. I hope he helps you find a way through this.

    Love Lizzie

    X

  • Lynn, my heart goes out to you, and wish there was something I could do to help,my thought and hugs are with you. Love Sue x

  • Just wondering how things are with you. I know it's such a difficult time for you. Hugs from me

    Love Wendy xx

  • Hi Wendy, thank you for your concern. Im afraid im not doing too well and cant bring myself to accept my Son has gone. I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed meds but they not doing anything. Im afraid ive become suicidal and feel thats the only way i,ll see him again. Its so hard i cant explain the pain just wish i could hold him and tell him how much i love him. I just want to lie in bed and stare at the wall hoping he will come to me ive asked God to give me a sign that hes ok but i suppose all grieving Mums do that. Thank you for you care and support Love always Lynn XXX

  • I'm sure, Lynn, that he would never want you to feel like this. He will be watching over you ... can't say why I think that but I think all those who have gone before us somehow watch and look after us. Whimsy, maybe, but I have felt that for a long time. The sign will come when you're not expecting it, and you'll know he is OK. He knows you love him, I'm sure.

    Love Wendy xx

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