How to live life after diagnosis: Hello lovely... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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How to live life after diagnosis

Jayniiee profile image
56 Replies

Hello lovely ladies

Hope you are all well. I wonder if i could have your thoughts if I may? I had debulking surgery 19th jan (taking omentum, small part of peritoneum, bit of small and large bowel, falciform ligament and caecal adhesions) straight after which the surgeon said they think they got it all and also there were a couple of spots of what they thought were scar tissue but they took biopsies of them to check. I have a post op appt in two weeks. I'm wanting to get on with life and for a long time ive wanted to get a dog and im now in a good position to do so with working from home. Am I selfish in wanting to get one? (wondering about if they did get it all and then it came back) should i not entertain it whatever the outcome of my post op appt. I guess I'm trying to come to terms with how much control my diagnosis has over my life. I'm interested to hear your thoughts?

Best wishes

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Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee
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56 Replies
Lyndy profile image
Lyndy

I got my dog after first line treatment… my husband did step in when I was treated for a recurrence but the dog is nearly 5 now and he gets me up and walking in the fresh air every day. By all means listen to your team and their plan for your treatment but don’t give up on your dreams. What is the point of survival if you are not having as much fun as possible? xx

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Lyndy

Thank you, that's good to hear 😊 that's what ive been thinking.. Ive been looking at puppies on the Internet today. I will wait til my post op appt before I fully commit to getting one.. And as long they don't give me any terrible news i would really love to be able to just get on with life.

Eriksendi profile image
Eriksendi

My husband and son got my dog for me to get me up and out after my treatment. It was the best thing ever , she brought laughter and smiles back into the house after a very tough year.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Eriksendi

Awww thank you x trying not to get too excited 😂

Doglover1410 profile image
Doglover1410

My dog (and husband 🤣) totally got me through it all. He knows when I’m sad and just need a cuddle, and he knows when I’m happy and we can go for a good long walk together. I would say if your result is good then go for it, but also everyone who has a dog (not just us ladies) needs to have a plan for any emergencies that come up. I have it in my will that my brother gets mine should the worst happen to both of us!

Looking forward to seeing the pics x

Lyndy profile image
Lyndy in reply to Doglover1410

Agree, I think one of the rescue charities guarantees to find your dog a new home if you can’t look after it …if you sign up to a scheme.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Lyndy

Thanks lyndy, that is a good to know, do you know any of the names of such a scheme?

Irisisme profile image
Irisisme in reply to Jayniiee

HELP FOR DOG OWNERS Jayniiee, it might be worth you, and any others who are worried about their dogs if they are taken into hospital, to contact the Cinnamon Trust - this next bit is copied from their website:-

What does the Cinnamon Trust do?

The Trust’s primary objective is to respect and preserve the treasured relationship between owners and their pets. To this end it works in partnership with owners to overcome any difficulties that might arise. A national network of over 18,000 community service volunteers has been established to provide practical help when any aspect of day to day care poses a problem – for example, walking the dog for a housebound owner.

I hope you never need them but I do know of someone (sadly now deceased), whom they helped with dog walking - and then caring after the worst happened 🥲

Iris 🤗

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Irisisme

Thank you so much for this, Iris! That has been one of my worries because I do live alone. This has put my mind at rest x thank you! xx

thejoannabell profile image
thejoannabell in reply to Jayniiee

This has been a while, so I'm not sure if you made your decision about getting a dog or not. My dogs have been quite a comfort to me as well. I would just recommend getting a dog that is more of a "lap dog" breed than one that is bred to hunt or herd. My sister has a shih tzu that couldn't care less whether he gets a walk or not; her previous shih tzu was the same way. :)

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to thejoannabell

Hiya, thanks for your message 😊. I've decided to get one. My surgeon was really pleased with my op. They said it was complete resection and no visible disease left. I've got three more chemo to do, finishing in about May. So have decided to get one when that's all finished. Be nice to enjoy puppy training without the worry of side effects etc. Looking forward to it! 😊 I'll post a pic when he's here 😊

thejoannabell profile image
thejoannabell in reply to Jayniiee

I’m glad to hear that your surgery went well! Definitely post puppy pics when he arrives!

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Doglover1410

Thank you... Trying not to get too excited about the prospect cos will definitely wait til i get results of op..hope to be able to post pics soon! Keep your fingers crossed for me 😊 xx

Doglover1410 profile image
Doglover1410 in reply to Jayniiee

Got everything crossed for you 🤞🏻 xx

pishi1 profile image
pishi1

I have been wanting a dog for over two years. It is just circumstances for me as I care for my mum. I will get one in future. Best wishes x

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to pishi1

Thanks for your input pishi 😊look forward to seeing your pics of what you get 😊

pishi1 profile image
pishi1 in reply to Jayniiee

Will do x

Kaitlinsmum profile image
Kaitlinsmum

I would totally recommend getting a dog. Please consider the breed. Avoid breeds such as border collies or huskies that require a lot of exercise for their well being. You dont want to feel guilty and upset on low energy days if you cant get out. My lurcher snoozed with me a lot and also motivated me to make regular gentle strolls and get out into the sunlight which is so valuable. Have fun ! X

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Kaitlinsmum

Ah thanks kaitlinsmum.. It's lovely to hear of your experience.. I've done lots of research and Ill let you know and post pics if/when doggy arrives 😊

27-359 profile image
27-359

I thought of getting a dog, but having been hospitalised a couple of times at short notice, and also living alone, I am glad I didn't. I know that there were days during treatment when I would not have been able to take a dog out, and my children work full time and have families, so wouldn't willingly have taken on the extra responsibility.Having said that, I don't think you should let a cancer diagnosis rule your life. If you really want a dog, get one.

Jenny

Irisisme profile image
Irisisme in reply to 27-359

Hi Jenny,

Please see my reply about the Cinnamon Trust - if you’re in the UK it might be worth you getting in touch with them.

Iris 🤗

1dog4cats profile image
1dog4cats

I had the same thoughts but got one anyway to go with my other dog and three cats. All are provided for in my trust. The walks are the best part of my day.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to 1dog4cats

Aw, thank you! I love being outside and walking. Having a dog for company will be lovely and is nice to chat to other dog owners - i know from experience of looking after family member's dogs when theyve needed me to x

Lizzieanne profile image
Lizzieanne

Would you consider fostering one? Perhaps have a chat to one of the many charities. X

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Lizzieanne

Thank you Lizzieanne. That's a good suggestion xx

in reply to Jayniiee

I think it might be a good way to find out whether it works for you. You’re going through a time of change (crisis) & might want to give it some time. Also to think about who would care for the dog if/when you need treatment.

A LOT of people who got dogs over lock down are now giving them to shelters, probably because they hadn’t thought about the long-term implications.

I think cancer patients are in a different position & it’s heartening to read here about how much joy they can bring, but it’s also a huge commitment.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to

Thank you Errin, there is lots to think about xx

Lizzieanne profile image
Lizzieanne in reply to Jayniiee

Im sure they would match you to a doggie that wld fit in with your circumstances. They are lovely and we use to look after our daughter's and he organised our whole day but he was a terrier and are full of energy. If you have a preference for a certain breed perhap search for rescue centres that specialise in that breed and have a chat to them. We are more cat people but we loved having Max for his holidays and often talk about rescuing one dont think we could cope with a pup but like you have to take into account my health and wouldnt want to put extra work on my husband who is very good. Best of luck x

Katmal-UK profile image
Katmal-UK

Hi, I was diagnosed with stage 3b OC in October 2007 and given 2 years. Ok so I cried, worried etc then reluctantly started treatment, what was the point? My nurse put her arms round me and said yr here, you need to focus on the here and now. I thought back to my dad diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 49 who asked his Consultant how long he had, how long is a piece of string was the reply, who knows how long any of us has. The Consultant died 2 weeks later in an accident, my dad passed away a week before his 82nd birthday. Don’t worry about tomorrow focus on the present or you will miss happiness. I bought my husband a golden Labrador puppy 2 months after my surgery saying he would keep him company after I am gone. Well Charlie our beautiful boy passed away 4 years ago and we now have Alfie (we got him 5 months ago) our little Cavachon and I am currently 8.5 years into my longest remission albeit on a parp inhibitor. Go get your puppy, enjoy those cuddles and let tomorrow take care of itself, focus on today xx

Alfie
win_56 profile image
win_56 in reply to Katmal-UK

OMG he's beautiful. I've been through thinking about having a dog now for a while know only myself and hubby at home and just want a small dog. After finishing this round of chemo 6 cycles we are going to be loking out for one . We have got contingency plans re holidays etc if we go abroad on holiday as my friend and sister will step in. I bet he brings you so much love and happiness and keeps you active. Xxx

Lizzieanne profile image
Lizzieanne in reply to Katmal-UK

Oh he is beautiful

Katmal-UK profile image
Katmal-UK in reply to Lizzieanne

Thank you, I try to remember that when he wakes me up early for his breakfast lol but he is a very loving dog who loves nothing more than a snuggle :)

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee

Thank you Katmal for your lovely kind message.. That's made me fill up! You're quite right, i need to focus on the here and now and just the thought of doggy cuddles makes me smile and I really need to up my quota of smiles after the last several months I've had. Am thinking of getting a mini golden doodle. I will update you/send pics if one comes along 😊 Alfie is absolutely gorgeous!

Lizzieanne profile image
Lizzieanne in reply to Jayniiee

Oooh havent seen a mini golden doodle sounds gorgeous

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Lizzieanne

Will send pics 😊

organicinna profile image
organicinna

Be very careful to buy puppy from internet. There is sooo many scams that breed unhealthy pups. By no means do not pay before you se the owners, their conditions and pups face to face ! Don't believe just photos and information. Never. Why not to consider get rescue dog ? You can rescue each other ))) xx

Realistic profile image
Realistic

Dear Jayniiee, ld said go for you we got a rescue standard Poodle she was 11months old and adorable my husband had just gone through Pancreatic cancer it gave him a reason to walk to be honest he was so ill but determined our little girl got a walk every day. That was nearly 30 years ago and everyone thought we were crazy but we wasnt we had our Chloe for 17 Wonderful years. We go away hopefully as much as we can l have serious grade 3 ovarian cancer but lm fine so enjoy life and take every day as it comes. I tell friends and neighbours if your unwell or need a dog sitter we will do it

We walk a dog for a lady nearby when she's not able , still miss not having a pet but we have the best of all worlds this way. Good luck in your decision think you need to perhaps let your body heal before you do . Love & hugs SheilaFxxx

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Realistic

Ah thank you realistic, that is so good to hear xxx

organicinna profile image
organicinna

Hi there. My eldest have 2 dogs/ One Frenchie one Pug. Am calling them my grand dogs because till 4 month ago I never had grand children . Am doggy seating them every 2 weeks ? usually/ But after my diagnose last year I was taking them more often to save my sanity etc. Walks with them so much fun than walk on my own. I cant get my own dog because we have 3 cats already and because my daughter now have a baby and they need help with dogs every now and again / That works for us ))

Jenjill47 profile image
Jenjill47

Jayniiee, go for it it!

I think you are wise to get a smaller breed. We have our beautiful little Tashi (Tibetan Spaniel). She is 5 and we are in our early 70's. No doubt she will outlive us but there will be enough friends or family who would willingly take over. I'm sure it is the same with you.

Those doggy cuddles will bring you endless chuckles!

Tashi loves to go shopping with us. She likes the attention too!
Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee

Awww, thank you for the message and the pic, Tashi is a cutie 😊

Ruebacelle profile image
Ruebacelle

Yes but an older dog from a refuge they are loving and grateful and will quickly learn how to enrich your life. The diagnosis is hard but you aren't dead yet so live your life and enjoy every day. Hugs from paris

testarossa71 profile image
testarossa71

Hi Jayniiee,

So many good responses here to your moving question - I confess I haven't read all of them but here are my thoughts, briefly.

Consider getting a rescue dog, rather than a puppy. Shelters are often overwhelmed with adorable dogs, who are passed over for puppies every time.

Consider the size and characteristics of the dog you rescue. Perhaps a smaller one, with no cross to high energy/low boredom threshold breeds - such as GSD, Collies, Labs, Retrievers. Also, not a sight- or scent-hound - who need lots and lots of walks and are likely to go bounding off and not be good at recall (coming back to heel, when told).

Also, in terms of future planning - you could make an arrangement with a dog walker to take your dog out once or twice a week while you are healthy, so that if you become unwell for a while, you already have contingency plans in place for someone who your dog knows and trusts, and who you know and trust. Finally, as some others have mentioned, a good animal charity will take on the rehoming of your pet if you should pass before they do. I think they usually ask for a donation for the service, but ask around where you are and see which shelters offer that.

Having a pet is an amazing mood-booster. I've had a meh kind of a week, and I've just got back from chemo, but even as I type this, one of our cats is kneading away at my lap and purring like a train, which is exactly the pick up I needed. When your animal is bonded to you, they really do pick up on your mood. It really is amazing.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to testarossa71

Thank you Testarossa for your great suggestions, am really grateful 😊 I will send pics if/when a suitable doggy comes along 😊

Summergold2 profile image
Summergold2

As you can see in my photo Shiloh is quite the beautiful big dobie. She wasn't a rescue but she certainly rescued me! I had purchased her from a local breeder 2 weeks before I was diagnosed! She was only 3 weeks old and obviously had to stay with her mama for another 5 weeks. Oh my how I cried and cried so did my husband. Before I went into surgery I told them I don't know if I would be able to keep her and they told me no worries they would keep her for me until I was able to care for her. BEST THING I EVER DID! She is the sweetest kindest dog ever! We have so much fun going to the beach, hiking snuggling and playing. I had a 6 hour surgery, 4 months chemo reoccurrence after 1 year more chemo now on a parp diagnosed Dec 2019 Shiloh has been with me through this whole journey. Yes she is a bundle of energy even a 2 and a 1/2 but then so am I LOL!

Keep positive sounds as if you have lots of love and companionship to give to a doggie! Hoping for wonderful and positive results for you! We also have two horses, chickens, and a cat. They all get along wonderfully.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee

Oh my gosh shiloh looks a real character... Thank you so much for your kind message. It's so good to get everyone's experiences. I will send doggy pics when I get one 😊 am looking forward to all the joy they bring 😊

charlie12 profile image
charlie12

We have had Cavalier King Charles spaniels for most of our married life. I cannot recommend them more, they are so sweet, gentle, loving, small, doggies that are as happy asleep on the sofa as they are on a 5 mile walk. When we moved to our present house, it transpired that a friend of ours had a friend who lived just down the road. He was also a lifelong cavalier owner and said that he was too old to get a puppy when he met our first cavalier, Charlie. She was such a wonderful companion after my two surgeries.

Despite our first little cavalier living for a very good 13 years, he outlived her. So he would have had another dog.

You never know what will happen in life. Dogs are the most wonderful companions that add so much love and joy to our lives. Just go for it, but consider a rescue. There are several cavalier rescues.

Cavalier smiles !
Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to charlie12

Aww thank you Charlie for your lovely message..he is a cutie x

Mommoo65 profile image
Mommoo65

I think its a great idea! I have a cat but puppy sit my grandsons dog quite a bit. I never thought I'd like having to get up and walk a dog but I honestly enjoy it. I was diagnosed almost 7 years ago (3B) and am still here!! So get the dog but please be careful of breeders you find on the internet. Find a breeder near you and visit the dog before you purchase. I have heard and had experience with buying a puppy you don't see in person. Also, consider a rescue from an animal shelter. All of my family's dogs (8 by last count) are rescues.Yes, you will want a calm, not hyper dog who will be a great companion.

Good luck!! Looking forward to seeing what you find!! Hugs, Jill

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee

Ah thanks for your message Jill...i will do, I'll post pics when i get one xx

Irisisme profile image
Irisisme

Oh boy, Jayniiee, you really started something! I hope you find your ideal companion- I have mine, he’s called Alfie, but my hubby walks him.

Definitely go for one of the quieter breeds and maybe an older dog - puppies are SUCH hard work!

Try the charities; ever seen ‘The Dog House’ (Wood Green), if you’re UK; also the Cinnamon Trust if you’re worried about possible hospital admissions.

This is Alfie, my fur baby 🤗
Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Irisisme

Aww, Iris, he's a cutie, i will post a pic when i get one, if all goes well, hopefully in a few weeks 😊 x

Bettyxxx profile image
Bettyxxx

Here is my dog Betty (hence my tag name) bought 2 years after diagnosis after I decided I wasn’t going anywhere soon! She is now 6 and She gets me up in the morning. Just done a half hour walk now time to dry off those ears 😂

Sultry picture of my black spaniel
Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to Bettyxxx

Thank you for posting Betty. Awww, look at those eyes!l😊I will post a pic when I get one, hopefully in a few weeks if all goes well 😊

rosebine profile image
rosebine

Im late to this thread. My dog is registered with the Cinnamon Trust . I phoned them to see if they could find someone to walk my dog when I came out after op. They put me in touch with a lady locally who could only do Saturdays but she was very nice. They are based in Cornwall but have people all over the country who foster etc, some parts of the country are not so well served. Well worth joining and you also get lovely information booklets with all the dogs they have helped.

Jayniiee profile image
Jayniiee in reply to rosebine

Thanks rosebine, that's good to know..i will look into registering.. I've decided to wait until after my chemo has finished which will probably run into may time, to save the stress of trying to organise dog sitters when in the hospital all day.. It'll be something to look forward to when it's over... I'll post a pic when i get one 😊

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