The time is getting closer: The time is racing... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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The time is getting closer

Deanna39 profile image

The time is racing by to 10th June for my debulking surgery.

I am so scared, yesterday was a really bad day for me I cried all day. I have to self isolate for 2 weeks and it's really messing with my head. I'm feeling so well at the moment, the sun is shining but I am having a major wobble.

30 Replies

Hi deana I so remember those feelings and having those wobbles, where the tears just wouldn't stop, your inner chatter box going mad. You can do this, many of us on here have had the surgery and whilst it's no walk in the park, we did it and have amazing scars to prove that we are strong. I kept so busy, doing things I liked, think I started to knit (learnt from you tube)Take the wobbles, you will come back stronger, I used to tell myself during the day, I can do this, I can and I will became my mantra xxx

There is no avoiding it is scarey! Just take one day at a time. This is a major part of your recovery - try to look forward to getting it done and think how great it will be when you wake up from the op, it is over and you can move onto the next stage. You will be so well looked after. The physios will get you up and moving very soon after the op. You will have pain killers but it will be uncomfortable but follow everything they tell you and don't be afraid of asking any questions. You will be okay and in no time this will be over! Good luck and let us know how it went! X

Hi, I felt the same, the night before was plannin g to cancel the op. I was worried about coping at home alone afterwards too. Had the op 11 weeks ago and Ive nearly forgotten all about it. The worst bit for me was actually being in the ward with all the noise and bustle and lack of peace. You will be fine

Kerry202 profile image
Kerry202 in reply to rosebine

I agree entirely with rosebine - the worst part was being in hospital and not being able to rest. No walk in the park but it will soon be over. Good luck.

We all can relate to those tears& fears but just noticed that you have done the chemo & for me that was the hardest part so give yourself some credit 🤗 ok so any op is scary & the list of things they give you before that might happen really don’t help but that’s just like reading the leaflets you with medication so accept that as precautions. I’m bit of a wimp but found the op was nowhere near as bad as I had imagined , were good at dreaming up the worst aren’t we 😏 .You will be safe & well cared for in expert hands so think of it as a bit of ‘ me’ time & use it to use it to relax & recover.Sending big hugs, smile & enjoy that sunshine . Dee X

It seems so counterintuitive to submit to a huge operation when you aren’t ill. But take courage, most of us have done it and for me personally it was loads better than I imagined. Plus it will help you to keep well! Think of it as a necessary evil.

Don’t forget the helplines (Macmillan and Overcome) are there for you if it all gets too much. Sending love and strength ❤️

Oh Deana, I just want to scoop you up and give you a big squidgy hug. You will be ok. It's rubbish having to self isolate but at the end of it a brilliant surgeon is going to get rid of the cancer whilst a wonderful anaesthetist looks after you. It is a big op no doubt but as other ladies have said I think chemo is worse. What is your specific worry? If you can unpack your thinking maybe you can address it. I needed to have as much control as I could ( when there is non really!) Also don't forget you are still early days into a life changing diagnosis, it's normal to feel scared and cry lots. If you can, use your time to prepare for post op, getting shopping in, home in order etc and chill and enjoy the sun. Really, really hoping you feel better soon xxx

Oh bless you. Completely understand the wobbles and I’m sure everyone who’s had the op will tell you the same. Honestly the op is the ‘easy’ part and also the knowledge they’ll get rid of everything they can see is good for the phsyche. Pain relief is different it seems dependent on hospital and don’t be afraid to ask the surgeon and anaesthetist about all the options. You can also ask for thing like being catheterised once you’re under. I didn’t have any pain luckily and the most uncomfortable things were the bloody position I was in after the op and didn’t get help moving (god love the HCAs the following morning who showed me the knack) and getting up the next morning! The physios are great though and guide you through getting up making sure you’re ok all the way and also how to get out of bed.

Good luck and just reach out, there’s probably not a lot at least one of us hasn’t experienced xxx

Oh Deanna , I remember those feelings only too well, I nearly refused to have it done when I got to the hospital,it took the surgeon and the anethatist to calm me down !!Honestly it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be . The first couple of days were a bit hard , but the nurses and consultants were wonderful. I was 75 and an absolute nervous wreck .

You Can do this .

Good luck x

I know you won't believe me but at the time I was just wanting to get the operation done and out if way as I knew my ascites would go down and it did. It could not have can any sooner as far as I was concerned. You will be fine.

Hi, I reached out to a trauma councillor and it helped me a LOT. I was also very anxious about it. With her I was able to be angry and cry and just say it as it was without fear of being judged or being worried about what my husband or friends would say. As much as they want to help, they can't.

Prepare your home for when you get out of hospital. You don't want to cook. have some healthy meals ready, soups, etc.

A few things after the op: the chances of constipation is very real. Be prepared for it.

It will not take less than 6 weeks to feel ok. You will be more tired than you might think. Be gentle and don't rush the recovery.

As soon as you can, walk more - preferably in the sun. Sit outside, in the sun with barefoot on the grass if warm enough. Obviously when the sun is not too hot. LOTS of water.

Try juicing to minimise the constipation.

As soon as you can, start to massage the scar so you can reduce the scar tissue and avoid longer term complications. See a physio who can show you how.

I also saw a women's health physio to make sure I don't have incontinence in the long term. She will make sure you are ok and give you good exercises to do to activate the pelvic muscles.

My surgery was 9 Feb. I was out of hospital 12 Feb

It is an anxious time. Be kind to yourself. Visualise the best possible outcome.


You poor girl, we've most of us been down this road, and l think most of us are in agreement that its not as bad as you think. And your out if it and so well looked after. Ok you don't feel at your best for a few days but they will give you pain control should you need it. I remember waking up and thinking omg its done, but believe me it's a very thin scar that hopefully soon heals as long as you follow instructions. You will be so well looked afterI didn't need any pain relief but you have it if you

Need it were are all different. So please

Try not too worry you'll be fine you'll be out of it

And before you know it you'll be awake. Sending so much love too you when you wake up its all done. Love & hugs SheilaFxxx

Hi Deanna, I had the surgery on the 30th April this year and was scared too. Imagining all sorts of scenarios! I’m a big girl and was concerned about the anaesthetic. It went very well the surgeons, nurses and anaesthetists are all so use to doing these ops. Before I knew it I was awake and I had the op behind me and after the first few days of getting my bowels back to normal the recovery was pretty much ok and I felt easier than chemo. The surgery gives us such a better chance. The pre surgery time Is pants but before you know it you will have had it and can let us know how it went and you can look forward to Summer. 🤗

Lets face it Deanna, if you weren't scared that would be really strange. You are having major surgery, just remember the surgeons who do this operation are very experienced and know exactly what they are doing and when you wake up the worst part is over. All the very best Sue xx

Yes that the worse part you feel okay, like you I underwent surgery last year and it's scary just thinking about it but in all honesty though you won't know it it will be okay you will come out of it, just get some help around cooking etc but for most part did what I felt I could do and it worked out okay ...good luck for the 10th you are not alone in the way you feel.

I too remember those feelings! Before you know it, it will be over and you will look back on it and just remember how great the staff were. As some of our other sisters have said, the noise in the ward is the worst! If you have a private room make sure that they close the door!❤️🌸❤️

Like so many of the other ladies I would agree that I felt very much like you....and that the surgery wasn't as bad as I thought. When I'm dreading an event I find imagining myself after it's been successfully completed and I'm looking back on it can help. Usually doing something I know I will do . So for an op it would be greeting my first visitor or packing up my toilet bag ready to go home.

You will get through it and will probably surprise yourself at how strong you are. Before you know it you will be posting to let us know how you got on....imagine that 🙂.

All the very best to you.

Liz x

My thoughts are with you but you will be ok. You are stronger than you realise. I went into the op a bit naively I think. I just wanted to get all that horrible cancer out and didn’t give much thought of the aftermath. It wasn’t pleasant but it’s necessary.

I agree with the lady who said the worst thing was the noise of the ward. The lights drive me crazy too they’re always on!!!

I recommend taking with you:

Eye mask to shut out the light

Earplugs to shut out the noise

A 3 mètre phone charger as plugs are nearly always behind the bed. If you have an airline travel pack they are perfect.

Just accept it has to be done and let the experts do their magic. We’ll all be sending you strong supportive vibes. X

Deanna, I was in such a state leading up to surgery because I was terrified of the outcome and already on medication for anxiety due to having a bit of a breakdown when my cyst was found that I found the anaesthetic a blessed relief. I gulped it down I was so much in need of some emotional peace. I badly needed the break from myself.

Strange but true.

OMG, so sorry for the bullshit of two weeks self isolation leading up to a major op!! When you need support around you the most! It is scary, I had a huge op, taking out everything that wasn't nailed down. But it's soooo worth it. Well, for me, it bought many precious months post recovery where I felt completely normal and healthy. Just remember to reeeeally take things easy for a little while after and be very kind to your stomach.All the very best to you. xx

Bless your heart. It’s ok to feel scared & anxious about your upcoming surgery. Crying releases emotion which is a good thing & extremely understandable. You will get through this. The surgeon will get all the cancer they can see out of you - that’s what you need lovely.

It isn’t a walk in the park but you’ll do it.

We are with you all the way.

With love & hugs Lynne xx

The surgery is necessary and you will recover and you will know they did everything they could to help you a new challenge for you you get to grow and change look at things differently..I let crazy internal talk go on for 45 seconds then I say ok enough let's walk the dog and sniff the air and talk to higher powers hugs from paris

Good luck Deanna, anticipation is often worse and great you are feeling well before op. Best wishes

Hi. Just focus on getting rid of the evil cancer! It will be over before you know it and each day will bring healing and the road to recovery.🌺🌸🌼

Please please ask for fentanyl if in pain after- that is the only big concern. These people know what they are doing! morphine does not work for me, my anesthetist knew morphine just makes me v sick. 2 & 1/2 days of fentanyl & at that point the pain was easily controlled with 30mg codeine 500paracetemol 200 profen

Don’t suffer the immediate surgery pain- it’s not necessary

Sending you a big hug. Everything you are feeling are totally understandable. I would try and reassure yourself how many of us in the group are here to tell our stories. I'm reading this on 6th June so you have 4 days to get through before hospital. Isolation for 2 weeks is rubbish for you but if it means everything goes ahead its worth it. You'll be one step closer after your op to the next stage of your treatment if you need it. Before you go to sleep tell yourself it's going to be OK. and plan a little of what you can do. A video calk with a friend or a phone call (I pretend I'm going to meet a friend but is via video) plan your lunch . Sit out in the sun if you can. (Carefully of course) plan to stay occupied for as much of the day as you can. Then tomorrow night do the same for the next day. I tried also to do things like clean my cooker because I knew it would be awhile before I could!( as good as my other half is that wouldn't be on his worksheet!! In essence Deanna keep busy and stay calm. (Maybe have a word with GP to see if there is anything they can prescribe in a low help) Can I just remind you you have been given every possibility the surgeon MAY encounter and that therefore means they MAY NOT. That is so overwhelming. They have to tell you every thing but in quite a few posts it hasn't been anywhere near all the things they where told . I was told lots of things might happen and they didn't . You will be cared for very very well. They will try to keep your recovery as pain free as possible. Sending you positivity and peace.xxxx

I had debulking done at the end of Oct 2020. I knew I had a large mass in my abdomen and it had to come out. I was pooping my pants when the surgeon sat me down and told me what he was going to do. Then I was introduced to my Macmillan nurse. I felt numb and shocked! Lets face it, the actual word "debulking" is not particularly pleasant is it? I had to isolate and wait 4 weeks until the big day. I was convinced that I wasn't going to make it through the op. But look at me now, here I am and out the other side AND doing okay. The surgical team are experts and know exactly what they are doing. You will be looked after every step of the way. Sending my very best wishes to you for a speedy recovery. 🌷🌷🌷

Hi DeannaI too have had radical debulking surgery. Once my daughter had called it eviction day for the cancer I actually started to look forward to it. I was in hospital for two weeks but the recovery took a good three months before I was up and about properly. It is a long recovery and you will get impatient to be feeling better, but if you take one day at a time and look for the positives every day, you will get there. My surgeon has a list of patients who have had the surgery that ladies can contact with any questions or concerns. It may be worth asking if your surgeon or clinical nurse specialists can put you in touch with previous patients. It really does help.

Hi Deanna, my mum is having hers today, so can imagine how you’re feeling (well to an extent as it’s not me going through it).I can’t quite believe it’s here already, she is also very apprehensive as we all are, but we know she’s going to be fine and has the very best care around her. She did only have to isolate for 3 days though, two weeks sounds bit extreme so can imagine you’re a bit fed up. Mum too had a couple of wobbles, it’s totally normal to feel these emotions though, and to just let them out.. if it helps you then talk to people. Friends, family etc. My mum hasn’t been off the phone.

Try and keep busy and do things you enjoy. You’ll be in my thoughts, sending huge positivity and strength. Laura xxx

Thinking of you.

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