Lindaura/Laura, 12/12/46 - 12/10/20: Dear all... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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Lindaura/Laura, 12/12/46 - 12/10/20

Laurasdaughter
Laurasdaughter

Dear all,

My incredibly beautiful, vibrant, amazing and brilliant mother passed away at about 22:30 on Monday night, October 12, 2020. Linda (a.k.a. Laura) Lubitz Dunlap. She was an extremely youthful 73. She was in the RUH here in Bath, in the Waterhouse ward. She had been receiving palliative care for a couple of days, not enough. My father, who has been with her for 54 years, was by her side. He kept repeating "Fly away, like the most beautiful bird." i hope she heard him.

She died of ovarian cancer, although there are contributing factors that i will mention below. i'm not sure, but i think that many participants here are familiar with at least part of her history battling this terrible disease. She was diagnosed in 2017. She was BRCA-1 positive, and so am i. She survived to help me - while undergoing chemo herself - through two major risk-reducing operations: my ovaries and fallopian tubes were removed via laparotomy, and then i had a double mastectomy.

The coroner listed ovarian cancer, biliary sepsis, bowel obstruction (by cancer) and liver metastases as causes of death, but this fatal outcome was drastically hastened and perhaps caused by a Covid-19 diagnosis several months ago. It meant that my mother was denied treatment for almost 6 months, and the cancer was allowed to metastasise enormously.

And a couple of weeks ago, she was transported to London for a procedure to place a stent (really two stents) in her liver, to drain the bilirubin. This seemed like the only thing to be done, as the the liver metastases made chemotherapy impossible, and my mother had become platinum-resistant. This procedure succeeded in draining the bilirubin, but the release of the bile sent her kidneys into near-failure, and fluid began to fill her lungs. She had an infection. as well. She became dreadfully swollen, though her face remained the same, still beautiful, and she grew ever weaker. She was transported from the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead to the RUH in Bath on Friday, and by the time she arrived, her condition had deteriorated so much that we had to face the fact that she was never coming home. She was in a great deal of pain, but they finally got the palliative care meds right - lots of morphine - and the end, i can only hope, was painless.

i feel like i have lost the meaning of my life. You can read a very succinct tribute to my mother on my father's facebook page: facebook.com/charley.dunlap1

love,

Jane

104 Replies
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I am so so sorry to hear this. Sending you and your family my condolences and love xx

I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family... May God strengthens you in this very difficult time

I am deeply saddened by this news .

Sending love and strength at this very difficult time . Rest in peace Laura .

So sad to hear this. There truly are no words.

Beautiful, courageous women - gone too soon.

Prayers for you, and your family❤️

What an amazing lady she was. We were diagnosed the same time and I followed her on here which kept me going reading her posts right through my treatment. I did not know her personally but always looked out for her and feel I have lost a friend. My heart goes out to you all in this very sad time. Liz xxxx

Hi Jane

We are so sorry to hear the dreadful news for you and your family. Laura was a very important part of this group and she was always supportive, with her quick, witty, honest and deeply caring input. We all feel we know her really well even though many of us never met her in person xx i send you lots of love at this difficult time, a mum to be very proud of xx

Diane

Xx

I’m so sad to read this. Laura was really valued on this forum and will be sadly missed. We’d hoped the liver stents would have had a better outcome.

This wretched virus has caused so much pain and heartache in the world. So sad.

It’s good to know she passed pain free. Thinking of you and the rest of her family.

Helen

Dear Jane, so sorry to hear this tragic news. Laura was a beautiful and strong lady and fought so hard to beat this dreadful disease for little family. My love goes out to you all.

R.I.P Laura we will all miss you so much

Angela xxx

So so sad to hear this. We all felt we knew her personally, as her character showed through in everything she wrote.

Jenny

My sincere condolences, such sad news.

Hi Jane

I’m so sorry to read this, your mum was a shining light of hope and contributed so much to this forum, with so much advice and care shown for everyone. Her vibrancy will really be missed so much on here. Sending condolences to you and your Dad, fly high Laura Xxx 💖

This is devastating news! My deepest condolences to you and your family. xx

Dear Jane

Thank you for ltaking the time to let us know about your wonderful Mum. She was very much loved and respected here.

Sending sincere condolences to you, your Dad and family at this difficult time. Remembering Laura and you, her family, in my prayers.

Nicola Xx

So sorry and sincerest condolences to you and your family. Lots of love xxx

Your mum was truly inspirational for many ladies on this forum. She always sought to help and to bolster others.

I am so very sorry for your loss and you and your family have my deepest condolences.

Rest in Peace dear Laura.

May your mum finally rest in peace and be pain free. I am so sorry for your loss.

So very sad to hear this Jane. Your mother fought with every breath to try to overcome this disease not just for herself but for others suffering alongside her. She was always determined and courageous. She gave advice freely and helped many through the myriad of complications and web-spinning we feel. My sincerest condolences to you and your father.

🦋 CHERYL x

JustKBO
JustKBO in reply to Cheryl4677

Very sad to hear this news. My heartfelt condolences to you and your father. Laura you were and will continue to be an inspiration to us all. Au revoir Laura. Rest in peace.

Hi Jane.

So very sorry to hear of your loss. Your mum was always so informed and knowledgeable and happy to share her knowledge and compassion with everyone on this site. She was an encourager and always tried to bolster others when they were feeling hopeless.

She will be greatly missed by all on this site, so I can only imagine what you and your family are going through.

Sending gentle hugs to you all.

Cathy

Shocked to read your news about your dear mother's death Jane. I must admit I was moved to tears for your mother, yourself and family and also for all the ladies who are dealing with this awful disease and for those ladies departed. Your lovely mum was such a help to others on this site with her advice. She will be sorely missed. Condolences to you and your father.

Gwen X

Oh Jane I am so sorry to read your post. Thank you for taking time at this painful time to update us. Rest in peace Laura, condolences to you family. Another Teal Angel has gained her wings xx Kathy xx

I am so sorry, such a lovely lady has gained her Teal wings. Laura was so supportive and informative to us all. My condolences to you and all her family. I wish you all the positivity for your own future. x

I am so very sorry to hear this sad news . My condolences to you and your family . Laura fought this disease with great courage and was always a inspiration to others on this site . Rest In Peace Laura 🦋 Lesley X

I am so sorry to hear this very sad news. Sending love to your family.

Ann xx

Sending my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Christine x

So sorry to hear about our lovely Laura, sending love and hugs to you and your Dad xx

So sorry to hear this sad news about your Mum.

Sending you and your family virtual hugs at this sad time. Stay strong and know that she is pain free and looking over you. Jas x

Hi Jane,

Reading this got me so emotional :( I'm so sorry and sending my love!

I'm not very active on this site but do read lots of posts and your Mam was clearly much loved and i have read many of her posts.

I discovered this site after my Mam passed in April aged only 66 after being diagnosed in June 2017 with Carcinasarcoma. Had 2 year NED then it came back with avengeance in August last year!

I wish i had discovered this site sooner as i feel it would have gave Mam some help and support.

I can relate with your feeling of losing the meaning of life. 6 months on, me, my Sister and Dad all still feel the same!!

I really hope your Mam heard those beautiful words from your Dad. I've also read your Dad's FB post, such a beautiful tribute for a beautiful woman.

If you ever need to chat i'm here.

Much Love

Claire

Dear Claire,

i'm sorry to distress you; i just wanted all the good people on this forum to know the truth. And what happened to your beloved mother is just awful; i can certainly empathise with you. i know that all the events leading up to my mother's passing will stay with me forever.

Stay strong! You have a supportive community here, and i hope your family is there for you too.

love,

Jane

I am so very sorry, your lovely brave beautiful Mum was such an inspiration and a help to lots of people. Huge hugs to you and your Dad. Sue xx

What heartbreaking news for you and your father and family. How dreadfully, dreadfully sad. If anyone deserved to live longer it was your dear mother. She'll be sadly missed on this site. I had been wondering how she was although I half expected to hear this news. Thank you for letting us know .

Sending my deepest sympathy and love to you and your father and family.

Solange 😊Xxx

Such heartbreakingly sad news. My deepest sympathy to you, your dad and family. Laura will be sorely missed in this teal family too where she generously gave support and shared her knowledge and experience.

Rest in Peace lovely Laura.

Jan. xx

Sending you and your father my condolences - your Mum gave surviving her very best shot and came across as a very caring and determined lady. She will be missed on the forum I’m sure. X

I am so very sorry to read this. Laura was a leading light on this forum and we will miss her terribly. RIP lovely lady.

Dear Jane

I'm so terribly sorry to hear this, Laura was an inspiration and I always felt I could relate to her although we never met. Am sending my heartfelt condolences to you,your dad and all the family. Love and prayers Judithx

Dear Jane

Suzanne and I were very sorry to read about your Mum's passing. You are so brave to write in such detail and we send heart-felt condolences to you, your Dad and the rest of your family.

Your Mum had such a tough time, but was always very supportive of others on this forum.

My own Mum died on the same date, 12 October, but 21 years ago now, also far too young at only 69 .... not of cancer, but of a massive stroke.

Your Mum is now at peace, without any more pain and suffering, and we feel sure that you and your Dad will draw comfort from that and from each other in the days ahead.

Woody x

I am really sorry to hear that your mam has passed , many of us have been thinking & wondering how she was over the last couple of weeks . Even though I haven't been on this site for too long I read many of your Mam's posts & she was always so positive & full of encouragement & I admired her greatly for this. When I & some of the other ladies on here were feeling low she always cheered us up so she is going to be greatly missed by us all. I know how you are feeling as I lost my mam 24 yrs ago at the young age of 58 & I still miss her so much as we were very close . Please pass on my condolences to your dad & all your family, I will be thinking of you & hoping the lovely memories you have of your mam will give you the strength to get through the hard times ahead. Rest in peace Laura you are no longer in pain Xx🌸Mag

Hi Jane

So sorry to hear your news. Been thinking about her lots and the way she battled was truly an inspiration to everyone.

Love to you and your dad and everyone she inspired.

Janet

Dear Jane I am so very sorry to hear this very sad news. ..it's really truly heartbreaking . I haven't been on this site long but when I posted your lovely mom always knew the right words to uplift my spirits and keep us all positive. She was truly an amazing and brave lady and will be terribly missed. My deepest condolences to you and your father. RIP Laura beautiful angel.😢

So very sorry to hear this ,sending love. Xx

So sorry to read this. I didn’t know your mum personally but through this forum I felt I did. I am only on here because my beautiful mum was diagnosed with this awful disease in 2019.

Your mum fought this with much bravery and compassion.

I hope she is at peace now and you and your family are there for each other xx

Condolences on your mothers passing. Never easy. May she rest in peace.

So sorry to hear this news. I would always look out for her posts. She would always be there offering any advice she could. We on this site will miss her. Thinking of you and your family and sending hugs. Rest in peace Laura.

So sorry to hear about you Mum. My condolences to you and your family.

Rest in peace Laura. 🦋 ‘Loves last gift Is remembrance’ 🦋

Jenny xx

Your Mother is now pain free and flying like a beautiful bird, the way your Dad envisioned her. I pray that you and your Dad find some peace and comfort in all the good memories, love, and laughs you shared throughout your life together. Until you meet again, may God comfort you through his love and the love and prayers of others. XOXO

I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. I have only been on this site for a few months, but I have read many of your mother’s posts. What a generous lady! Please accept my condolences.

Sashay in Louisiana

Sorry for your loss my condolences to you and your family

Dear Jane, Thank you so much for sharing this. Many of us have been wondering how Laura was doing and worried based on her last report. She made it clear how much she loved you and was concerned about your BRCA status. Hopefully your preventive surgeries will protect you. I will miss your mum’s contributions here very much. All my best to you and your father.

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family. xx

I love you! I cried as I read. Your Mother was/still is an Amazing Beautiful Woman. She was the first person to reach out to me and offer kind words and advice when I found this site not long after losing my own Beautiful Amazing Mother to cancer. Like my Mom, your Mom/Wife is a FreeBird now and I Sincerely Believe she is still with you all. My Mother's spirit was strong, she has let me know she is here. I am so sorry that you cannot touch her or hear her but please know that she is not gone. She is just waiting for you all to catch up with her in the Great Place. No more pain. No more suffering. All Joy. All Love That's where she is now. Again, I tell you that I love you and your family and am praying for you all.

Your mother was such an inspiring lady, so this is hard to take in. I send family and friends my sincere condolences . May Laura rest in peace and fly high.

Caleda xx

So very sorry to hear this news, rip laura and thank you for all your positive messages and replies.

I always looked forward to your mum's posts on here. She took such care over them and was always there for other people. I will miss her.

Oh no! I feared she was not in a good place recently but it is still a shock. She was a lovely supportive member of this forum and I will miss her very much ❤️

Your mom was so kind to all. A real blessing! And no question she was a fighter! She will be remembered fondly by each of us. I hope her memory will soon bring you a smile before her passing brings you tears. 🙏🙏

Dear Jane,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to let us know. Laura was a tower of strength and encouragement on this site and generously shared her knowledge and research with us. Though aware of her recent challenges we hoped her determination would win through.

I hope you and your dad will find comfort in your memories of a special lady.

With warmest wishes.

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful mum and our dear friend. Laura became an important part of our community when she joined us and her knowledge and support will have helped so many here.

The world has lost another bright shining star but that star will shine bright together with all the other lovely teal angels we have lost.

Fly high lovely Laura, free from pain and peaceful at last. Love to all your family at this difficult time. Thank you Jane for letting us know, we miss her ❤️Xx Jane 🦋

So sorry to hear the sad news of your dear Mum’s passing. I hope your dad’s comforting words were heard by her.

My heart goes out to you & yours Jane. RIP lovely Laura 💕 xx

I am so sorry my condolences to all the familyx

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have only been on the site since March, but Laura was one of the people who, with her determination, cheerfulness and advice to others, was an inspiration.

She was an amazing lady and will be much missed from the forum.

My condolences to you, your father, and family and friends.

Lesley

x

How sad - Laura was a constant source of advice, support and friendship to those of us here. Please accept my condolences to you and your family. X

So sorry to hear this sad news, Jane. I haven't been on the site long and in the last few weeks, I know people have been wondering how your Mum is and praying she was ok. She seemed like a courageous and lovely person to all. It's awful that she was denied treatment due to the Covid diagnosis.

Condolences to you and your family. Your happy memories will help sustain you a little, I hope.

'So when you walk the wood where once we walked together

And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,

Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,

And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,

And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you, Be still.

Close your eyes. Breathe.

Listen for my footfall in your heart. I am not gone but merely walk within you.'

Love

Candy x

Deepest sympathies to you and your family, she is at peace.

I can't tell you how sad l felt when l read your story. Bless you and your brave Mum l lost my Mum to lung cancer and l know how much it hurts. Sending my love & hugs SheilaF. Xxx

So sorry for your mother’s loss. Heartfelt prayers for you, my dear.

So sorry to read your news about your Mum - please accept my deepest condolences at this very sad time. Love from Mel xx

Dear Jane so sad to hear of your mom’s passing , my heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with your family

Loren x

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Laura was an inspiration to many on this site and was very knowledgeable and was always willing to offer advice and support to others. I followed her story as I was also diagnosed in 2017. My sincere condolences on your loss. RIP Laura - we will all miss your wise words. X x

May your mum rest in peace. Thoughts and prayers are with you all x

This is heartbreaking i am so sorry. Big hugs from france

So very sorry to hear this extremely sad news. Sincere condolences to you and your family xx

Dear Jane,

I'm so sorry to learn this sad news. I've only been on the forum for a few months, but I appreciated your mother's posts. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. --Lani

Oh Jane, I am so sorry to read this. My love and thoughts to you, your father and family xxx

So very sorry to hear of Laura’s passing. My sincere condolences at this very sad time. ❤️

Hi Jane

Thank you for letting us know the very sad news about your Mother. I am so very sorry and send you and the rest of your family my most sincere condolences

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Lindaura was a very brave and lovely woman. Keep the love she had for you safe in your remembrance of her. I wish you strength to get through x

Hi Jane

Very sad to read of your dear mum’s death. She was always a super force of nature on this group and will be missed.

One piece of advice for you as you head off to the next phase of life - I too had all the preventative surgeries in my 40s but then got peritoneal cancer (sister of ovarian) in late 40s. So, although the chance is very low, perhaps get yourself a CA125 blood test once or twice a year. I certainly wish I had. An understanding GP can do it.

Thinking of your family at this very sad time

Siobhan x

Dear Siobhan,

This is extremely welcome and much-needed advice. i take it that a CA125 test will also reveal evidence of peritoneal cancer - i had no idea. Thanks so much, and i wish you and all others affected by these brutal diseases the best of health and the brightest future.

love,

Jane

Hi Jane

Yes, assuming you are a person who is CA125 'sensitive' (not everyone is), then it is a marker for PPC (primary peri.. Cancer). Having now seen your photo, I can see you are slim, so watch for unexplained bloating. Hopefully, you'll be kept free and live a life as long as your grandmother.

Best wishes and much love

Siobhan x

Dear Jane, I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your wonderful mum. I have followed her posts since joining this site and always found her to be so positive, brave, witty and inspiring.

I feel I’ve lost a friend even though we’ve never met.

Sending so much love to you and your dad and hope in time, the happy memories of your beloved mum will outshine the very painful ones you are feeling now.

Denise xxxxx

I am so sad to hear this. Although of course we I never met your mother she was a wonderful contributor to this page and so many of us loved her advice and knowledge. Her spirit and personality shone through via her messages and I can imagine she was full of life and a great mother, wife and friend to many. We cannot comprehend your pain or loss, it must be awful, but I pray your mother is looking down on you and will always be watching over you,

Ruth xx

Dear Jane

I hope you can take great comfort in all the comments and condolences that have been posted. They reflect everyone's feelings very succinctly.

I read your post moments before heading out for my chemo session. I sat there thinking about Laura, we joined the forum around the same time, with a similar diagnosis although l am non braca.

Your hearts will feel broken but knowing how Laura planned ahead, l feel sure you will soon gain her incredible strength and live the lives she asked you to without her.

My sincere condolences.

Sylvia xx

Jane- so sorry for your families loss. It is so hard for families to lose a loved one. It really is a B of a disease and it always seems so unfair. She would have been so proud that you were able to let us know.

Condolences to all the family.

Fay

I have only just seen this sad news, and I am devastated. We had noticed her absence, which was the stranger as her last news was so positive, and she had so much hope. I know that Covid has been terrible for you over there, and I was so worried when Laura said she had been diagnosed with it. Even here, the lockdown has impacted so many cancer patients, myself included, allowing time for things to race away. This must have been worse for laura, with her actually having the virus.

You should be very, very proud of Laura, and I can tell from your words that you are, and that she was extremely loved, as she too demonstrated to us her love for you all.

Since I joined this forum, from the other side of the world, I have been inspired by Laura’s positive, never give up attitude in terms of her own treatment, and the way she passed this on to many people in Ovacome with her everloving advice to everyone. Her vibrant personality was visible through her words, and she was very beautiful both inside and out. I know she will have left a massive hole in your family, and know this is replicated with her Ovacome family. Please accept my sincere condolences, and fly free Laura, one stunning teal angel, to join the rest of the family of angels who have passed before us. 💙💙

Thank you; this is a truly beautiful message and appreciation of my mother and of this community as well. Strength, courage and ever-improving health to you - to all of you.

love,

Jane

I’m so very sorry to hear your heartbreaking news. Laura was such an inspiration on this site, knowledgeable and empathetic to everyone else despite her own trials. Heartfelt condolences to you and your dad

Claire xx

So terribly sad to hear about your Mom. I have followed her story since first logging on here last summer. She was always so upbeat and encouraging to us all. May you find piece in your loss. You and your family have my sincere condolences and love.

So very sorry to hear this sad news.

RIP Laura.

Sincere condolences to all the family.

Kath

I am so saddened to hear this news. Your mother was one of the first to greet me when I joined here. Her advice and support were so appreciated. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Such sad news, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love Bridie

RIP Laura you will be greatly missed by us all.

Love and gratitude to all who write words of appreciation and remembrance for my mother. i read all of your comments and it is good to know that this was such a welcoming community for Mama. She often talked about the women on this forum; you were an inspiration to her as well. i wish you all the most diligent and attentive medical care and hope that your very best years are still ahead of you.

[Edited by moderator]

Stay strong, and if you begin to feel like you can't, i hope you can rely on loving and kind family and friends, always. Thanks so much for being here for my beloved mother when she really did need all the support she could get, as well as a place for her own voice.

love,

Jane

🙏🏻❤️

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Your mum was very important to this site and always a name to look out for.

Much love to you and your family.

Kathy

Dear Jane, my deepest condolences to you and your dear family on the passing of your beloved mother. She inspired many of us here and I'm terribly sorry to be reading this. My prayers are for your family 🙏 at this sad time. Xxx

Dear Jane,

Thank you so much for taking the trouble to post here, and for the lovely photo. I lost my wife Carol to this disease in March last year, and although she did not want to follow this forum herself, I found it (and still do) a source of inspiration, and none more so than your lovely Mum. She would always have a word of encouragement whilst being so open and honest about her own treatment path.

I know she will live on in your heart and the way you live your life as Carol does in mine, and I wish you all the very best as you figure out how to live this new life you find yourself in. Be kind to yourself, and if you like poetry, may I recommend a little book of poems called The Losing Game by Rosie Bailey, written after she lost her life partner, the poet U A Fanthorpe. A very good friend gave these to me, and I love them, even if they do make me cry...

With love,

Nick

Thank you, Nick, for your empathy and for the interesting recommendation as well. i think it's wonderfully brave of you to continue following this forum after you lost your precious wife. You must be very strong as well as caring and generous!

love,

Jane

Dear Jane

I've only just read your terribly sad post. I am so heartbroken to hear about your lovely Mum, she was a great help to me when my own beautiful mum was going through her own battle with ovarian cancer. Like your mum, my mum was denied chemotherapy because of covid and we lost her in April this year. Your mum recommended to me about BRCA testing and her posts were so inspirational and truly honest., what a wonderful woman she was.

Thank you Linda for helping so many of us on this site, fly high beautiful teal angel

Thinking of you, your father and family,

Vickie xx

Dear Vickie,

You are such a good daughter, following this forum for your mother - and i'm so very sorry that you lost her, especially after she was forced to go without chemotherapy. i hope you are beginning to heal. Thanks for keeping your mother's memory alive in this group, and for praising my own mother. i hope you had a BRCA test!

Love,

Jane

I'm so sorry, Jane. Laura was extraordinary, and the world is poorer with her gone. Please be well (you will be, at some point). xx Maus

Thank you for letting us know Jane.

Your mother’s replies were always warm & positive.

She had a talent at explaining what she herself was facing too.

Sending you & the family love xx

I have tears in my eyes reading this sad news, my love goes to you and your dad, your mum was an amazing lady. She was such an inspiration to all us ladies.

Love Elsie xxx

May she rest in peace and may her memory always be a blessing 💔

Condolences to you and your family

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