Feeling a little anxious 😟, need to find that inner strength

[Slipper1]

haven't posted since diagnosed and now its 3 chemos down, and awaiting scans this week and hit an incredible low, feeling so very frightened as to what the future holds. Will I have surgery soon or not, what is happening inside, is the chemo doing its stuff, am I eating too much, too little, am I eating the right things, what are the wrong things. I am usually positive and strong, but hell this diagnosis gets to the parts of your mind that other things cannot reach!

[Differentforgirls]

Bless your heart. I think, most of us teal ladies have felt the way you do at least once.

It is such a shock & it takes time to accept what you’re going through & what’s ahead of you. It took me o er a year to accept the new normal I was experiencing after diagnosis.

I advise for you to try & take one day at a time - not fast forward to the future. It was advise I was given. It is hard to do but it really helps if you can. Ask your team anything that you need to. Talk to your Cancer Specisalist Nurse or ovacome.

During my first line chemo I ended up eating whatever I fancied ( my taste buds changed so much).

Of course you want to give yourself the best possible chance. The Drs will sort out what’s best for you.

Do you know what your CA125 was before Chemo & now? This could indicate if your treatment is working.

Please be kind to yourself.

Hugs xxx

[Slipper1 in reply to Differentforgirls]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, it really helped me to refocus and reframe to the new normal. Feeling so much better today x

[Differentforgirls in reply to Slipper1]

That’s why we are all on here - to try & help/support each other. Although we have slightly different journeys & react differently, there’s so much understanding between everyone on here.

You take good care xxx

[Lolotango in reply to Slipper1]

Different for girls has said it all. I think we all have had your experiences, I’ve been battling for over 3 years and now starting a new journey on a clinical trial. A little scared but feel what do I have to lose. If this doesn’t work for me, my Dr has another plan. Take each day as it comes. Stay strong and fight the best you can.

[Slipper1 in reply to Lolotango]

Hi lolotango , thank you for taking the time to respond, i have really appreciated it. I hope that all goes well with your clinical trial, am taking the advice of one day at a time, staying strong both physically and mentally and will fight, thank you xxx I have taken so much strength from everyone who has responded with your own journeys as you all say we are in this together and whilst would not choose to be here, feel so much support from everyone xx

[Katmal-UK]

Hi. I dont think any of us here havent felt as you do now, whether thats a fleeting thought or something stronger. Have you spoken to anyone, been offered counselling? Believe me when I say it helps. It helps you understand your feelings and fears. Nobody can tell you what will happen but talking can help you cope and get back to a place where you can cope with whats going on. Sending you a big hug, Kathy xx

[Slipper1 in reply to Katmal-UK]

hi kathy, thank you for taking the time to respond it has really helped me, im usually the one helping others and doing so asking for help is a new one for me but it has so helped x

[Katmal-UK in reply to Slipper1]

We all need help sometimes, it can be a lonely journey but just remember we are all here for you x Hopefully you'll find your mojo again. I know there has been times I've fallen but know the ladies here will pick me up. Big hug. Kathy xx

[FlowerRose in reply to Katmal-UK]

I agree with the counseling. Just please make sure it's a therapist who is versed in cancer patients and specializes in folks like us. My first therapist was *not* like that and in our first session she said, "Well, we all have an expiration date" and that was my last session with her

[Slipper1 in reply to FlowerRose]

Hmmmmm some people eh, ' talking on here's really helped x

[Katmal-UK in reply to FlowerRose]

Omg Flower thats awful. I,d definitely agree with you. My counsellor was great and was at the local hospice and one at a cancer centre.

[Jenjill47 in reply to FlowerRose]

Good on you FlowerRose. She should be deregistered.

[Ruebacelle]

Good morning. Give yourself 5 minutes to get rid of all that very normal inner dialogue then move it out it just gets in the way. Arm yourself with knowledge about diet exercise reme.ber chemo works esp the lst time. I was in shock 2 years and just did what i had to do. This is a great time to discover how strong and resilient you are. Stay strong. Stay connected to what is important for you once you get the hang of it the whole experience becomes incredibly empowering

[Slipper1 in reply to Ruebacelle]

thankyou for taking the time to respond to my email, it has really helped, as you say getting rid of that inner dialogue...hell it does go on and loudly!! Thanks again xx

[Ruebacelle in reply to Slipper1]

You will have such fun discovrring your strength

[Hidden]

Hi there. When I asked my onc what I should be eating, he replied "whatever you can".

We all know that you're feeling right in at the deep end at present. Give it time & things will begin to make some sense. It takes a while to get over the shock of it all. My first chemo worked. My 2nd chemo worked. My maintenance drug worked. I'm sure yours will too. I've been on this treadmill for nearly 9 years. Try not to fret too much. Best wishes. Pauline.

[Slipper1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for taking the time to respond it has really helped me and knowing that you have been doing this for 9 years helps xx

[Ruebacelle in reply to Hidden]

wow pauline this is heartening...could you tell us more...what stage where were the tumors what chemo worked what you are in now...i started down this road 5 years ago...feel great but am on the 5th line

[Cazbird]

Hi I think everyone feels like this at times. I discovered mindfulness and in.particular mindfulness breathing during my first lot of treatment. It helps the mind to stay in the present and take one day at a time. It really helped me. Love and hugs. Xxxxxx

[Slipper1 in reply to Cazbird]

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to respond, it has so helped, I am feeling so much better and as you say staying in the present, thanks again

[Cazbird in reply to Slipper1]

Hi that's ok. I'm so glad it helped. X

[Lyndy]

As others have said it is very normal to feel this way! Just try to accept wobbly feelings just the same as you would your feelings of being strong... it’s all part of going through treatment. Maybe give yourself a little treat and a pat on the back for getting to where you are now? I am sure your oncologist will have a plan xx

[Slipper1 in reply to Lyndy]

thank you lyndy for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it, had a curry last night and really enjoyed it, feeling much more positive today x

[delia2]

Hi. I echo what the others have said. Frontline chemo does a great job for most people, but it takes it out of you. When I was going through It I would have days where I felt I couldn’t go on but then I would feel better in a day or two. After experiencing that four a few cycles I was able to control my negative thoughts better. However as I’ve gone through various aspects of treatment and remission I’ve still had moments like that. But they do pass. Counseling really helps as does getting outside and walking. Xx

[Slipper1 in reply to delia2]

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it, am looking at getting out for walks and gardening to have some fresh airs as I realise had not been out much, the covid doesn't help!!

[FlowerRose]

I don't know if you're like this, but for me learning about everything about everything actually helps me feel more empowered. You have to be careful where you get information from, of course, don't just Google but get some good books arm yourself with knowledge maybe? I personally found it much harder when I didn't know what I was up against and even though what I learned may not have been pleasant, it helped me get through. Knowledge is power. At least for me!

I am a super big plan ahead type of person and live by my checklists, they are like my little security blankets one very hard thing to do was to not be able to plan for everything like I used to. It's extremely hard to stop doing that. I was diagnosed 7 months ago (stage 3c, emergency debunking, 6 rounds chemo), and only about one month ago did it really click that planning ahead too much now just stresses me out. Living under Covid it doesn't help that's for sure. It's a little liberating. I hope you find what does it for you soon. Thinking of you.

[Slipper1 in reply to FlowerRose]

Hi flower rose, so lovely to read.your response, yes I too have read to take control (not google) and am a planner, have always had a to do list and now more than ever need this to feel normal and feel well pleased when I achieve my list. I am now walking at least twice a day and like so many ladies have said this really helps, along with a little gardening and sewing, but also for me staying away from daytime tv( will go mad). Tha ks again for taking the time to respond i really appreciate it x I'm a fre months behind you as only diagnosed end of May... friday is decision day for going ahead with surgery or more chemo!

[FlowerRose]

Oops debulking, not debunking!

[OvacomeSupport Partner My Ovacome Team]

Hello Slipper1

Thank you for your post. I'm sorry to hear that you've been finding things difficult.

We're here to support you, so please get in touch with us on 07503 682 311 or at [e-mail] if there's anything that we can help with or if you'd like to talk anything through.

We have some information on our website about diet and nutrition with ovarian cancer at ovacome.org.uk/diet-and-nut...

You can also find our information booklet on coping with anxiety at ovacome.org.uk/coping-with-...

Your team will be able to advise you about diet and any support that may be available to you locally. If you let us know which area you live in, we can also look into any local support services that may be able to help.

Best wishes

Julia (Ovacome Support Services Officer)

[Lizzieanne]

I feel exactly the same and suspect most of ushave done so. Am now going to read yr replies as I find so many little gems of wisdom are given and it helps. Sending positive thoughts for good results and some peace of mind. Iwas cancer free for 18 years it has been a huge shock. Like another lady replying to you I am a planner she had some good advice that I will try and take on board.