Not coping well with carbo/taxol & family life - My Ovacome

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Not coping well with carbo/taxol & family life

CountryChick78 profile image
18 Replies

Hi

I’ve been diagnosed with low grade oc 5 months ago. Had surgery to remove all. Was just getting stronger & feeling better when they dropped the bombshell I had to have 6 rounds of carbo/taxol

I have had 1 round of taxol only due to timing issues and suffered side effects - painful legs being the hardest although now all my hair is gone I am gutted. I feel and look like a horrible mess. I can’t walk properly or hold my cup.

I am due the 2nd tomorrow and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my husband or 10 year old to see me like this. My son is autistic and is already struggling with the chemo effects I don’t know how much more I can take

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CountryChick78
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18 Replies
Ej38 profile image
Ej38

I’m so sorry to hear you are such a hard time. Sending love and strength.

Lindaura profile image
Lindaura

I am so sorry to hear how you are suffering.

Carbi/Taxol can be extremely hard to bear.

I know it was for me, but my own daughter is an adult, and she pitched in to take over a lot of chores and my sister came from the USA to help me through the first months.

The Macmillan Charity really helped and they have knowledgeable counsellors also.

They helped me pick out an attractive wig and fitted it for me.

I had terrible bone pain in my legs as well as being fatigued, dizzy and breathless if I tried to do anything.

I basically spent nearly six months in bed. I also had a difficult time eating as everything tasted and smelled awful.

But my family took care of me and the chemo destroyed the cancer.

Try to remember that. All that pain and misery is actually killing the cancer cells throughout your body.

My last advice to you is to try to accept help from everyone who offers it. You need all the help you can get now.

Let yourself realise that you are unwell.

As difficult as it is, at least you are in treatment.

Let others take care of meals and housekeeping.

Be satisfied that you can get to the loo without help, but if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.

I hope you start feeling less miserable soon.

But your regime is a tough one.

Best wishes,

Laura

Solange profile image
Solange

Dear CountryChick. How I feel for you!! I remember feeling exactly as you say. I hope you feel a bit better soon. I think we all go through very bad times but then have better times. I always say we need the lows to appreciate the highs. It's traumatic enough being told we have Ovarian Cancer but to then be told we have to have Chemo - it's devastating. I was terrified!! I found my first Chemo the worst one. When my Oncologist saw how badly it had affected me I had the dose reduced slightly. That also terrified me!! I was afraid the treatment wouldn't work. I now know that it's very often done. Do tell the Nurses in the Chemo Unit how you feel. Don't bottle it up. They can give you help with the pain. I didn't tell the Nurses how bad I felt straight away but when I did I was given some strong tablets and told that I should always tell them how I feel. That was twelve and a half years ago and we didn't think I'd last the year out, back then.

I'm sorry you feel so bad about your hair. I found it very difficult when I lost mine. I couldn't bear looking in the mirror and seeing this stranger looking back at me. I hated my husband and family seeing me as I was then. I did get a wig. It took me a while to dare to wear it, I admit. Once I'd been out in it a few times I felt a lot better about it. I also bought some scarves and hats for people with cancer. If you look on the Net you can see various ones. Annabandana is one firm ( I think that's how it's spelt) or you can get some cheaper ones at Amazon. I'm sure you'll feel a bit better soon. You should have a Cancer Support Nurse who works with your Oncologist, who you can phone to ask for advice. That may help you. Or phone the Ovacome Nurse. A lot of people do that.

It could be you would benefit from some Counselling. It helps a lot of people. Don't suffer in silence and bottle things up. You can always have a rant on here, too. You're not alone. You're among a lot of people who'll become friends, who know just how you're feeling. Your husband will be sad for you about your hair but I'm sure he and your son love you very much and are so glad they still have you. Try and get out of the house a bit, too. Play happy music. Phone friends, too. People often don't know how to talk to friends/family who have cancer but if you talk to them they'll be relieved and be able to talk to you.

Good luck with your Chemo, tomorrow. Hopefully it won't make you too bad. You'll get through it and you will have better days. You're probably still traumatised with everything that's happened or is happening. Just hang on in there. Sending love and and a big, virtual hug, Solange. 😊 Xxx

Katmal-UK profile image
Katmal-UK

Hi. The chemo you are having is tough to take, all chemo is but you can do this. Your family wont care what you look like, they will just want you well. I get all this will be harder on your son but I would seek help in the form of Macmillan to see if they can help you both with counselling and support. Please continue with the chemo, your family will want you well again and to try and achieve that the chemo will hopefully work. I wish you well, sending you a big hug, Kathy xx

Hi there. We all on here know what you're going thru. You're in shock but before too long, (and you won't believe this now), you'll be able to plan your days around your better days and it will all become a part of your life. Your dose may be reduced so that you feel better than you're feeling now. You're just getting over the surgery and now you need chemo to get rid of any remaining remnants of the tumour.

Hopefully your husband will be a good support for you. Remember you both agreed the union was for better or for worse. Well, here's a worse. All lives have them.

You'll need some time to accept what has happened but you'll feel better in yourself if you can get your attitude right. It HAS happened, so, as soon as you can, accept that it has, keep telling yourself that until you can accept it. It is what it is. Try not to let yourself feel a victim.

I got a wig by the way but never used it, I preferred a hat with a long scarf tied around it. You'll sort it all out, I know you will - just like the rest of us. You can always send a post here if you have questions or need a rant. Best wishes. Pauline.

Shorty864 profile image
Shorty864

Can back all of the above - started on carbo/taxol and had the most horrible time, but survived. Just finished my third session of carbo/taxol, 7 years on, at a lower dose of taxol and CA125 is back to normal - was able to deal much better with lower dose and it has still worked. We are all here for you. Anne xxx

Caleda4 profile image
Caleda4

Hello Country Chick, I do feel for you ,as I remember this period very well myself even though it is 31/2 years ago now. I was in so much pain after the first dose I went to A&E ,& when I came out of there the Oncology unit was open & I managed to speak with one of the doctors who prompted the Oncologist & when I next saw him they reduced the dose by 25% & I found it easier on the second round. The other thing is like others have mentioned is to get in touch with your MacMillan nurse as they are usually very good.

A majority of ladies who have lost their hair have felt exactly as you do. There are very good wigs out there & you can get your hairdresser to trim to your style. During my treatment period my husband made the decision for us to go away for short breaks in this country & I met the owners daughter where we stayed & on one occasion she to was having treatment and was wearing a long haired wig & honestly you would never have known.This girl was about 30 with two children. She did tell me also that they had workman there over quite a long period of time & the one guy had been there whilst she was wearing the wig & when he saw her he said why did you get your hair cut short.

I hope that things will improve for you,but it really is advisable to speak to someone about your problems. Caleda xx

delia2 profile image
delia2

As others have said, we’ve all been through it. It’s awful! But it kills cancer. Are you having weekly taxol or 3 weekly Carbo taxol? I have read that the two together can moderate side effects though I don’t see how. I had every 3 weeks and that gave me a week of feeling decent. Keep a journal of how you feel each day and take any help you can get. You are the priority now!

You are stronger than you imagine! You have been through childbirth! You have been through major surgery! Chemo is tough but so are you. You CAN do this, take one day at a time and if that's too much then one hour at at time. Good luck x

Maxjor profile image
Maxjor

So so sorry you are going through this. My first chemo ever was so hard on me, I thought of not continuing and we all know that would have been bad. But once I told my medical team how bad it was, they adjusted everything--the pre-meds, the dosages and the post-meds and then it was much more tolerable. To the point where I could live my normal life except for a day or two of each cycle. Please call/ask for help with your side effects. You have gotten such great advice here and you can do this. If you can also explain to your son you are sick and getting medicine/treatment to get better, maybe he can tolerate seeing you this way in a better light alleviating your worry that you need to try to act OK when not feeling OK. Hugs, Judy

fendweller profile image
fendweller

Well country chic ,you can do this ,its horrible and frightening and demoralising ,I'm not selling this to you am I, the hair thing ,after a couple more weeks you won't be bothered ,I have grown up children , 13 grandchildren and two great grandchildren ,I sent photos to their parents of me with no hair and with a scarf on to show the children ,made it easier when they visited.I to had terrible leg pain with taxol ,after three cycles it was stopped and I was much better with just carbo, was worried but last scan showed significant reduction in tumour. Its a hard slog, difficult for your son ,but all you can do is keep talking to him , try to joke about it with him , on one of my rare good days I was in Mac Donalds ,my four year old great grandson shouted loudly to the next table , " my granny hasn't got any hair ,do you want to see " I just said " perhaps don't want to see now " You will get through this ,I thought I wouldn't and have lost count of the number of times I've told my husband I'm giving up ,he'd just say yes dear ( well that's what I've taught him ) I wish you well ,keep talking and ranting and soon laughing. X

Jane420 profile image
Jane420

Hello :) you can do this . The chemo is going to get rid of any disease that was left after surgery . All the ladies above gave you great information

Lind58 profile image
Lind58

I can only say as my mom has just completed this regime with 8 treatments - Some sessions are easier then others but ultimately this treatment will give you the fighting chance you need!! Nothing about this entire process is easy, but with hope and determination when it is done YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER KNOWING YOU DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR YOURSELF. Your husband and children are your backbone and want to be there for you. I would do anything and everything to help my mom. The hair part is not easy, but like I told my mom it is going to grow back god willingly and that is the least of our worries. Have faith, be easy on yourself and realize there is an end in site. One down already.

Litchick profile image
Litchick

From one chick to another- I agree OC and all it brings with it is tough to cope with. It must feel particularly difficult when you also have the needs of your son who has autism

Litchick profile image
Litchick

to concern you. But there are so many people who can and will help. Just tell them how you feel - like you have told us. Be kind to yourself and accept that for now you can’t do it all. Sending you a gentle hug and some strength for tomorrow . Xx

ARamage profile image
ARamage

Totally agree with Laura. If possible, accept help and be good to yourself. Carbo/Taxol is rough. I made it through but I was down a good bit of the time. I'm single. I did get layoff from my job here in the States and went on unemployment. Friends cooked for me and I just had to make myself "let go," so I could do what I needed to do at the moment to live. The bone pain was bad. I took Tramadol and it worked for me without crazy side effects. My feet did go numb, but I battled through. So, a year later, I can actually say that the pain is gone in my legs and ankles. My feel still have some numbness but even that is getting better. My hair is completely back and it is fuller than ever! I did have a wig but ended up wearing different color Chemo hats with colorful hiking buffs on top of the hats. My Chemo nurses urged me to "enjoy the new look." I know that sounds insensitive, but I took their advice and it was fun. I went for rides on Sundays just to see the country side. I'm a photographer, so I made myself use my camera every week. I pushed myself and then I rested. I got low casual shoes like Keens or JBUs, and because it was winter, I also wore crazy colorful socks! Soon, I noticed others having Chemo doing the same thing. I wish you the very best.

Angie

thomas62 profile image
thomas62

Hi CountryChick78,

I am also a low grader - diagnosed 5.1/2 years ago. Please listen to the messages in response to yours and take heart. Please find out if your cells are oestrogen positive as this will open the door to you for hormone inhibitors. Best wishes. Gwen Xx

Maus123 profile image
Maus123

Hi Countrychick. I'm low grade as well and went through that type of chemo after my recurrence. After the third dose, I couldn't bear the side effects anymore (awful scalp pustules and severe pain/neuropathy in my feet) and reported to my oncologist(s). They recommended reducing the Taxol dosage to 80% , which made the last 3 sessions bearable for me. It wasn't easy, but just on this side of manageable.

I can't say if that is necessary or feasible in your case, but if you ever reach the point where you absolutely won't go to chemo anymore, talk to your med team before you stop it, and see if they can help. If you don't suffer so much, the change is not as noticeble to your son either... maybe?

And maybe even a wig is an option, if you think that could help him cope?

Best of luck with it. xx. Maus

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