Special person update, not good news - My Ovacome

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Special person update, not good news

CallmeMum profile image
94 Replies

Hi lovelies,

I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news with my special person, I saw Mark today (after hunting him down) and have had a proper conversation with him. I asked him what options were now available and he said there's nothing more on form of treatment that they can do I asked what he would call as a time line he said "I don't want to say" I said I need to know would you say about 6 months? He said less than that possibly 3, he did reiterate that it was pure guess work, which I fully understand and that the cancer is now progressing more than treatment would help. He asked if she would go to the hospice and I said no due to the fact we've had family problems with them I explained about my grandad who passed away in our local hospice on his own and was found the next morning so he's now fully aware that it's off the table then he said about her going home with some carers coming in and out which I said she might like or she can stay in hospital as she knows the staff she's happy with the company up there and he's happy for her to stay there. This obviously is now the end of the road for her, I just hope her passing is peaceful and not painful, this past week Mark has been amazing with his answers due to the fact I wanted blunt answers and I can't fault him (like I did at Christmas). I hope everyone is okay and as pain free as possible, but please remember when she was first diagnosed she was told she would live 6 months with chemo that's nearly 4 and a half years ago, there is always hope. I will update as and when things progress xxx

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CallmeMum
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94 Replies
grammeejill profile image
grammeejill

I admire Mark for giving you the truth. We can fight the demons we know of, right? I know this is a tough time for you and the fight has been long. Prayers for you all.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to grammeejill

Thank you for your reply, we can fight the deamons we know, unfortunately our fight is almost over, it's just a matter of time now xxx

Seren1942 profile image
Seren1942

So sorry been through this stage with my daughter, just try and make the most of the time you have left

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Seren1942

We will be making the most of the time left she's aware of what's happening but not fully aware on a time line xxx

Petrolhead profile image
Petrolhead

Another very hard post to read. Staying where she feels safe and looked after and cared for is good. Thinking of you both.

Fay

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Petrolhead

I'd rather she was safe and happy as it brings us all comfort xxx

Manchesterlady profile image
Manchesterlady

So sad for you . Thinking of you .

Love Sheila xxxx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Manchesterlady

Thank you xxx

PaulAllen007 profile image
PaulAllen007

Xx went through this all with my mum. Sending you both big love xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to PaulAllen007

Thank you xxx

Beauxbelle profile image
Beauxbelle

I’m sorry, that like me, your special person has reached the inevitable. It isn’t a nice place to be but like Vicki I hope she is ready in her own mind. It does make it slightly easier if you feel she is at peace with herself.

Love and hugs to you

Barbara 😘

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Beauxbelle

It's not a nice place to be but we knew we'd be here one day xxx

LittleSan profile image
LittleSan

May your special person be wrapped in a bubble of love and great symptom control and hoping for strength and peace for you too. You're a great friend and that's a wonderful thing to be. 💐💐😘😘

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to LittleSan

She's going to have nothing but love and that's the best we can do for her xxx

Katmal-UK profile image
Katmal-UK

Im so sorry to hear that your special person has reached this stage. Having been through this with my Mum and Dad I understand how you feel. Dad never got ill enough to need to make a choice, one day out shopping, the next day he was admitted to hospital and passed away. 7 years before my mum had had an operation and I was told she had a few hours but wanted to come home where, with carers, my Dad and I looked after her for just under 3 weeks. Whatever decision your special person makes it has to be the one she with. One thing I am and will be eternally grateful for is both Mum and Dad passed pain free and peacefully, slipping from this life surrounded by love. I wish nothing but the same for your special person when the time comes . Kathy xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Katmal-UK

I can only hope her passing is as pain free as possible and that someone is with her when the time comes xxx

Mrsmerlot profile image
Mrsmerlot

I am so sorry to hear your news, but I am so glad your special person has you in her corner! Thinking of you both. Pam xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Mrsmerlot

I'll fight until the end xxx

Shortie38 profile image
Shortie38

So sorry,but i agree if she is happy to stay where she is in that hospital,sending you all hugs and my prays,maryx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Shortie38

I'd rather she stay where she is happy than be upset about a hospice xxx

Shellygirl profile image
Shellygirl

I’m so sorry reading your news, sending hugs 🤗 how awful about the hospice I’m so pleased she’s able to stay where she’s happy and cared for xxxx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Shellygirl

It's comforting knowing she can stay where she is xxx

Solange profile image
Solange

I'm so sorry to read your latest news about your Special Person but thankful she can stay in hospital where she's happy. That must give you a bit of peace of mind. I hope she has a peaceful, painfree end when the time comes. It must be very sad for you. Do look after yourself !!

It was a nice of you to point out to others that she's living all this extra time. Very different from the six months expected. That will cheer a lot of 'newbies' up. Love to you both, Solange 😊

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Solange

It most certainly does give us peace of mind. I will look after myself too but it's comforting knowing she will be happy and safe xxx

Coldethyl profile image
Coldethyl

Sorry this is where things are now at - hopefully she can be made as comfortable as possible for however long a time is left - is there not another hospice that could be looked at as I know we tried to look after my mother in law at home in her last week and it was very hard and in end she had emergency admission to the hospice which is where she was able to be more comfortable - thinking of you all x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Coldethyl

Another hospice was mentioned by Mark and I said it depends what is on offer, personally I would rather she be where she is happy xxx

Coldethyl profile image
Coldethyl in reply to CallmeMum

I understand that but without wishing to upset anyone, being at home turned out not to be that place - the district nurse insisted on reducing her pain medication and despite carers and a special bed in place, it was difficult mentally and physically for her children to watch her distress - a distress the was immediately ameliorated by a return to the hospice - wishing you well whatever the decision you finalise on x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Coldethyl

For now she's staying in hospital and I hope that's what she decides is what's best for her, I wouldn't want her at home with carers coming in and out but it's her choice whilst she's still able to make it xxx

Coldethyl profile image
Coldethyl in reply to CallmeMum

I found that the staff involved in her care were by and large very good at nudging her towards staying put in the hospice but she’d made a promise to come home to my demented father in law so she did that - a kindness that turned out not to be so kind but such is life - hope you are all well supported and that the end whenever it comes is as peaceful as possible x

avid profile image
avid

Another sad post. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to avid

Thank you xxx

Lyndy profile image
Lyndy

You have been a wonderful support to your special person and I am sure you will continue to be right through the next few months. It breaks my heart to know that you won’t have her for very long but I hope that this time will be full of love for you both xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Lyndy

Well be making it the best we can for her xxx

So sorry to read your post. Thinking of you all at this difficult time.

Janet

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to

Thank you xxx

Cropcrop profile image
Cropcrop

Lovely lady, I’m so sorry to read your post, I hope your special person is as content as possible and that you are too given the poor prognosis you’ve been given. I hope you can get some comfort that a plan is in place and your special person likes where she is.

I hope the coming months are a time where you are able to remember all your happy times together, make some new memories and try to give and get as much love from your time together. I hope Mark has set your mind at rest a little now you know what you are dealing with, it’s good he’s been straight with you and not tried to flower the sad news.

We are all here to help and support you in any way we can. I send you both love and big hugs. It’s important to take care of you too lovely ❤️Xx Jane

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Cropcrop

I find comfort in knowing the truth. I sheild her from information she doesn't want to know. I now know the plan and can prepare for everything when it happens xxx

Ge0rg1na profile image
Ge0rg1na

Sending you both love at this difficult time Gina xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Ge0rg1na

Thank you xxx

Lorent profile image
Lorent

I'm so sorry to read your sad news, love and prayers

Loren x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Lorent

Thank you xxx

ShropshireJo profile image
ShropshireJo

So sorry that you and your special person have reached this point. Hope you’re able to use the time to make more special memories and she remains pain free. With love Jo 🌺🌼🌸🌻🌹

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to ShropshireJo

It's all we can do we spoke with her about what she wants months ago so all her affairs are in order xxx

ShropshireJo profile image
ShropshireJo in reply to CallmeMum

That’s good. You can concentrate on the important things now - family and friends. xxx

Neona profile image
Neona

Sending prayers for you both.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Neona

Thank you xxx

Seasun36-uk profile image
Seasun36-uk

Your special person has had a special friend to help her through these years...may you be given strength to continue to do this at this important time xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Seasun36-uk

I won't break now it'll be about 6 months later when everything is over and it'll catch up with me then, it's what happened with my grandad it all caught up with me 6 months later xxx

banjoman profile image
banjoman

Was the Joe Tippins protocol of Fenbendazole tried yet? It seems to help un-treatable cancers.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to banjoman

Can you give me more detail on that? Xxx

banjoman profile image
banjoman in reply to CallmeMum

Goodness, there is so much online to research about it. You can search under Joe Tippins, or Fenbendazole cancer treatments. It is an affordable off-patent medicine that has been repurposed for pet wormer too. Results for various cancers have been almost unbelievable. My wife is currently on a similar medication, mebendazole prescribed by Care Oncology. This is easy to get and costs little.

Perthgirl profile image
Perthgirl in reply to banjoman

Thank you for this information, never heard of it and makes for interesting reading. Well worth trying 🙏

banjoman profile image
banjoman in reply to Perthgirl

Right! We were told by Mayo Clinic there was nothing else to be done, and 'good luck'.... With some divine help, we will see some progress soon. Next scan is in two weeks.

I would do anything to see this work for my wife, and yes, I know that desperate people do desperate things.

So what?

Perthgirl profile image
Perthgirl in reply to banjoman

I think it's fantastic that you are looking at other ways to beat the beast and I sincerely hope, wish, pray that this protocol works for your wife, and you. All the very best to your wife, and please let me know how the scans go. 🤞🏻🙏🌹

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to banjoman

Sorry lovely I've just seen your reply I will start researching now. Thank you so much for the information you have given me I will look to see if its available in the UK as I believe the Mayo clinic is in the USA? My best wishes to you and your wife I hope it works and the scan is what we all hope xxx

banjoman profile image
banjoman in reply to CallmeMum

FYI.... Care Oncology is based in London England ! They have recently come to the States. You should be able to find them there.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to banjoman

Even better thank you so much 😊 xxx

sticky3006 profile image
sticky3006

I'm so sorry that this has happened. I can't imagine how difficult this must be to take on board and process. Sending you strength and hope, sticky3006

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to sticky3006

The one thing I am grateful for is where we have been expecting this for a while it's not as much of a shock its just hard processing it now is it and she'll likely be gone by the end of year xxx

sticky3006 profile image
sticky3006 in reply to CallmeMum

I can relate to that. My darling mum has started on 'end of life' medicines in the last three days. We've been expecting this for two years and feel we have mentally prepared ourselves for this to happen. We just feel so grateful that's she's comfortable and we have precious time to spend with her. xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to sticky3006

There seems to be so many people in this situation right now I only hope a cure is found for the future xxx

Caroles1 profile image
Caroles1

So sorry it has come to this lovely, my thoughts and best wishes are with you,

Carole xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Caroles1

Thank you sweetie xxx

Perthgirl profile image
Perthgirl

Am so very sorry, sending you both strength and peace for the coming months x x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Perthgirl

Thank you xxx

gmc920 profile image
gmc920

I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope she continues to surpass expectations, and most of all is comfortable and surrounded by love. Thinking of you both.

xx Gina

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to gmc920

Thank you xxx

delia2 profile image
delia2

I’m so sorry about your news but glad you have an honest doctor in Mark who you can trust. You are such a great friend and I hope you and your Special Person can have some good moments in the time remaining. 🌸🌼🌻🌺

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to delia2

I'm pleased he's blunt. We will be having as many moments as possible xxx

Caleda4 profile image
Caleda4

So sorry to read about your special person,but thankfully she is in a safe place where she is as happy as she can be & hopefully comfortable without to much pain.

Thinking of you all at this time.xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Caleda4

I hope she's pain free whatever time she has left xxx

Maus123 profile image
Maus123

Gutted. :(

I think you are at least as special a person as your special person, and I hope she is going to be as pain free as possible over the coming weeks and months. Thinking of you both. Hugs, Maus.

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Maus123

Thank you, I hope so too I might speak about having her put in an induced coma when it's getting close to the end zxx

Btte profile image
Btte

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Love Bridie

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Btte

Thank you xxx

shortfriends profile image
shortfriends

I am sorry to hear the news. You to are a special person who has given comfort and support to many of us here, I hope you receive the same just now. In the six months time

that you mentioned we will be returning the same love and support you have given to many. I wish you a peaceful, calm and loving time just now.

love

pat xxx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to shortfriends

Thank you for your reply when the time comes I will let you all know xxx

cathy46 profile image
cathy46

Thinking of you and hope that you’re special lady has a pain free time It’s so hard to accept after fighting hard for so long I hope when my journey is coming to this I can accept what has to be Wishing you all the best sending lots of love 💖

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to cathy46

Thank you, we've said for the longest time that it will be what it will be, and something else I've always said our destinations are the same it's just the journey getting there that's different xxx

Mopsie profile image
Mopsie

Sending love and strength at this sad and stressful time for you.

Maureen xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Mopsie

Thank you xxx

lewisriley1947 profile image
lewisriley1947

So sorry to read your sad post, thinking of you both Pam xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to lewisriley1947

Thank you xxx

Alifit profile image
Alifit

Sad news. I am full of admiration for how you have fought her corner tirelessly and how she confounded the statistics as many others do. Much love to you all, Ali x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Alifit

I saw her today and she has written a letter about her final requests, just so everyone is clear on what she does and doesn't want, so at least something is in place, we sorted her funeral a few months ago so we don't have that stress on us which will make things a lot easier xxx

Hopefulgal1 profile image
Hopefulgal1

I wish you strength and healing. I am currently in a hospice but the care seems good so far fingers crossed. Good luck and lots of gentle hugs...T xxx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Hopefulgal1

Thank you. I hope you're as comfortable as you can be? Also I'm pleased your hospice is good xxx

Welshandproud profile image
Welshandproud

Sending you and your special person a huge amount of love and best wishes xxxx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Welshandproud

Thank you xxx

Artgreen profile image
Artgreen

I hope you have someone looking after you, you have been doing such a good job of looking after your Special Person.

I do hope that Compassion in Dying and Dignity in Dying soon get the change in the law so we can be assisted to die when we are ready . I heard last week that so many people take their own lives rather than face too hard a death. It is so much kinder not to have to do that. You have been so diligent in giving her the very best care you can and I am in awe. I wish you both a gentle and effortless time and a lot of love.

A x

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to Artgreen

Her original plan was to take her own life but then she had the thought what if it didn't go to plan and so decided against the idea. I hope the law changes too, if she were a cat or dog we wouldn't let her suffer xxx

Artgreen profile image
Artgreen in reply to CallmeMum

Precisely x

sjg81 profile image
sjg81

I'm so sorry at this sad time for you all. Sending you all love and support xx

CallmeMum profile image
CallmeMum in reply to sjg81

Thank you xxx

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