Hi ladies
My moms cancer has progressed on chemo she doesnt know about it i feel she reacted badly when her first line didnt work so its better to bear cross myself she had 15 days break in between now she appears alert and in good health though doctors say with or without chemo her life is limited to less than 3 months dont know what to do should i tell her or let her be happy without this knowledge and bear the cross myself
If it were you would you want to know?
To me it was important so I could mentally prepare, get my affairs in order and tell everyone my funeral wishes
LA xx
Hi lovely so sorry you have this burden but like Lily Anne I would want to know so I could prepare and do the things I wanted to do and say the things I wanted to say.
It’s important to remember that we are individuals and although doctors can guess at our sell by dates they are not god and lots of ladies on here are living way beyond their doctors expectations!
Sending you hugs and once again so sorry you’re in this position xx
Thanks dear i have been giving her hints but i feel she may not take it well and get more depressed and leave hope so i am scared i will try to communicate with her slowly
Hi, I agree with Beewild. I dont think its fair for you to be the one to inform yr mum. I was informed when my mum was in intensive care but made the decision to leave it to an oncologist to break the news. I was there tho with my mum. It did give her time ( i took her home for her last couple of weeks even tho they had given her only a few hours) to put her affairs in order and for all the family to spend time with her. I am so sorry you are both going through this xx
I am sorry too wish it was all a bad dream to be over when you get up
Really feeling for you. Your Mum is a very fortunate lady to have a daughter who is looking after her & feeling for her.
My Mum died of oesophageal cancer back in 2004. She was only poorly for 3 weeks, but very poorly. I had to ask her about resuscitation but I put it in a very gentle way - asking her if she wanted special intervention if she got more poorly or if she preferred just to be kept comfortable. She said she just wanted to be comfortable & rest. So that’s what we did (palliative care team and myself). I don’t know if this helps.
Ask the kindest, most understanding doctor in the team what they would do.
Love & prayers xx
Sending lots of love your way, whatever you decide to do xx
I have read about clear cell ladies who have responded to caelyx but if she is strong enough a clinical trial would be my first choice. If you have to break the news at least some alternatives would be encouraging .
IHi, I think you need to tell your mum I know I would want to know , as the ladies have said maybe better coming from her team you can support her, I've been on chemo now for 4 years and my oncologist has told me I have no more options and has me on palatine care,
It's taken me a few weeks as I was in a very dark space , but Monday I'm going for a second opinion he may say the same thing but I tried ,maybe a second opinion for your mum may give her some hope.
I also had Caelyx with good result through we all react differently to treatments.
Tell your mum and let her decide with your support..Take care Lorraine xx
Try stomach wash, intraperitinel chemotherapy.it works!❤❤Liz
Hi. Totally agree with the girls. If my husband or children were given the burden of telling me such news I would be so angry as I'm sure the responsibility and pain of telling me would stick with them for rest of their lives. It isn't something a loved one should have to do. Speak to the doctor or the like straight away and give your poor mum the chance to make plans and make sure nothing goes unsaid, ie telling the ones she loves how she feels. It's so unfair that she doesn't know. Your mum is probably a lot stronger than you think. Best wishes xxxx
I just want to say I feel for you as I too am caring for my mum in the late stages of this disease. I think Kryssy is probably right when she says your mum may be stronger than you think. People know their own bodies and my mum has a sense that her time is coming to an end. She was told very gently yesterday that her cancer has now spread into her colon in addition to the four sites she already has. To be fair she took the news like she'd just been told it might rain later. She doesn't want to leave the party but not knowing the full picture had been making her anxious.
I really think it's down to your mum's doctor's to break this news... it shouldn't be left to you.
The doctor we saw yesterday in A and E wasn't my mum's oncologist but she could see the results of my mum's latest scan and she asked her 'do you want me to tell you what it says, it's your information and I feel I should share it with you if you want to know' or better words to that effect. She gave mum the option and that was helpful.
Wishing you strength to get through this xxx
Yes, you should let her know, it's not your decision. Your mom needs to get things in order. With God's help hopefully she'll make it longer. ❤❤Liz
I'd want to know, but l know were not all the same ld still be asking for a second opinion, like a few have said Doctors don't always get your sell by date right. They certainly didn't with my husband and his pancreatic cancer 30 years later he's still with me thank goodness. God bless you both l know how very precious your Mum is. Please don't give up hope. I feel your pain sending love SheilaFxxx
Update from Laura for whoops! bad news:
When someone has “very bad news...”
Good news and a bad day
Fed up - always bad news
Good and bad news. 
