So my special person received a letter about something that was bloody stressful for one reason or another, tried calling the number at the top of the letter to sort it out, would anyone answer (assuming the offices opened at 9) no was the answer, I suddenly said come on let’s go sort your funeral out (Cancer is currently dormant), so off to the funeral directors we go (considering we had something bigger to sort out) I wanted something else to think about for a little while rather than the thing. We walked in and said we want to sort her funeral out the look on the woman’s face was almost horrifying she couldn’t believe we walked in so calmly and casually (what was she expecting, let’s be honest we all kick the bucket at some point in our lives) anyway she shows us into this room and a bloke walks in he looks like Lurch from the Addams Family (his head nearly hit the door frame) he didn’t talk like Lurch so he was okay! So we sat there for about an hour sorting this out. Anyway all sorted and paid for, then the dreaded call to the office ironically turned out to be fine and nothing to worry about! So very random but constructive day!
Hope you’re all okay! Xxxx
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CallmeMum
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Aah, the practicalities of this disease! I’m writing a planner for my family with all my wishes in and numbers to call etc. Anyone not in our situation would think that planning a funeral would be fairly drastic procrastination activity, but I’m with you all the way!
I think it’s cool. I was trying to think about this but in the middle of selling and buying houses400 miles apart and renting somewhere else for first line chemo and I had a moment when I thought, f—- it, I don’t want any more decisions; let everyone else figure out what they want to do. I’ll probably feel differently down the road. On another note I just got home from my first round of chemo. Yay—- 1 down 5 to go. Until maintenance. . .
I’m planning on getting some ‘memory’ jewellery made for my girls so that they can have something special from me for the rest of their lives. I’ve booked an appointment with the jeweller to get the ball rolling. Friends and family think I’m being weird/morbid, but I would rather do it now in a calm and rational way, than be paralysed with fear if I’m ever sent home to ‘get my affairs in order.’
We have to be pragmatic with this disease. It makes us see things differently, but it doesn’t mean we’re giving up, being morbid etc. Just practical.
Vicki x
PS Glad the ‘thing’ was easily sorted once you got home. Don’t need extra stress!
It’s not morbid, it’s giving memories when it’s means something.
My kids are 30 and 31 and you know I have grandkids. Both of mine are trying to move house and we are helping them, because I would rather see them happy when I am alive and not know about it when I am passed.
You do what you can, when you can, none of us knows what is around the corner in any state of illness or not we have,
Hi there. Pleased that the thing which you didn't want to happen didn't happen and that everything else ended well. Nothing wrong with planning the after. I took my bezzie to the little churchyard where I'll be and it was lovely. Birds singing - thankfully not the crows this time - sun shining and all looking pretty . I feel so peaceful there so it is well worth sorting. Then you can get on with living and making memories. Big love to both xxxxx
Glad things turned out well for you in the end. My husband and I decided to sort our plans out for our grave when I recurred again five years ago. We will go in the same grave together - well, not on the same day. The cemetery we expected to go in was almost full. The few spaces left were in a horrible place, right next to a big block of flats where some people living there were having a violent row using foul language. We decided that was a no-go.
Then we found a new Natural Cemetery had just been made, next to a woodland one, nearer to where we live. (Our town doesn't have a cemetery)
Didn't like the woodland one as very dark but the other one is in a big beautiful field with lovely views over the hills to the sea. It's not too far from the place we can hold the Non Religious Service and near a Pub/hotel that we could have the Wake in. We were so happy and relieved to have made a decision. I was enthusiastically telling the children all about it when it suddenly made us all laugh. 😂 It was so bizarre, it was if we were planning a party. I was even extolling the virtues of the grave we'll have, with "the best views'. But at least we were able to tell the family what we'd planned without getting maudlin and tearful. The one thing we're slightly concerned about is that, being a Natural Cemetery, there are no made up roads, just winding cut grass paths. I dread to think how bad it could be in the winter, carrying a coffin to the far end. . . .!! ⚰️ Something that did surprise us was when we chose a place for the grave, on the end of the row in the corner, we were told that we could only have the second to the end as they have to keep the very end ones for ' extra large people'. What a sign of the changing times.
I hope my warped sense of humour hasn't upset anyone, me being a bit frivolous. Apologies if I have. Keep smiling, love Solange 😊
Hi Glad , your special person is still ok and yes I went a couple months ago with my daughter to plain and pay for my funeral, I have a book and I write messages and things I would like to happen if possible arfter I'm gone.
I'm surprised the FD reacted like that. I used to work in a cemetery and we used to get someone in asking about planning their own funeral every month or so. It's a little strange at first but I got used to it.
It's come in quite handy really as I have a clear idea what I want. I've discussed it with my beloved but I really should write it down as my dear mother is not going to like it. I was thinking 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' as the exit tune.
I persuaded my husband some time ago that we should arrange a prepaid funeral plan some time ago, a few months after my cancer recurred for the 4th time. Di
Well you got that done but I sincerely hope you wont be returning there any time soon as we would miss you too much. It is funny how things can freak us out. I looked for a quote for a dog sitter and then rejected it as plans changed. But then I got phones calls and emails to confirm the dates and times, It seems the dogsitters company computer went haywire. So I got upset too. Anyhow got an apology but I think with chemo or treatment and depending on the way we are feelings sometimes things get on top of us. Sure we are only human after all
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6 month check post op with the lovely prof 
Need advice on dealing with oncologist
When someone has “very bad news...”
The pain and loss is so difficult
Scan day tomorrow :(
