Hi girls. WARNING!! Offensive language. Don't read if you are squeamish.
No, I didn't die - despite the will to over the weekend. Someone who shall remain nameless but will be shortly known as "my ex husband", forgot to buy the credit for the phone/internet and of course, hospitals in France aren't open on weekends - or lunchtimes, or public holidays or after 5pm. So I had to wait until today to get online again. And, they have moved me to a new room on the ground floor. My previous room was big and airy with a view, new memory foam mattress and big bathroom. Now I'm on the ground floor in the corner with frosted glass at the windows and the room stinks of fish. The bed is ancient and sank in the middle before I even got in it. Now I'm in it my arse is lower than the side rails. If I wake up with a backache in the morning then the shit will hit the fan. That's if there was any.... No action in that department yet although I did manage a few farts which made the nurse clap. This place is full of lunatics and they are all looking after the patients!
Still no food or drink. A male nurse, with a very strange beard which looked like two Brillo pads joined together like an upside-down fish tail (perhaps that explains the weird fishy smell) asked me if there was anything I wanted. I ran through an ideal menu for me and he laughed at me. See - they are all nuts. What's so funny about asking for food?
Never saw a doctor all weekend of course but today one came before I left for the fish cell. She said there was an improvement, despite there not being any movement. The inflammation in the peritoneum, caused by the cancer of course, has inflamed all the innards so they have gone on strike. But, she's happy that I'm going in the right direction, except I'm not going, am I? They are going to look inside my bladder, she said. Perhaps the poop is hiding in there ay?
I am now getting fed intravenously. A big white bag of cream and a smaller yellow bag of lemon sauce. Well that's what they look like to me because I've had that much morphine I'm now living with fairies and gypsies and all the walls are sparkly pink...... I digress..... One is vits and minerals and the other is amino acids. The bag of cream is 1,400 calories, it says. They will have to take out a window to get me out of this place. My machine comes with me everywhere but when I unplug him to go for a walk I only get about 3 minutes before he sounds his alarm and I have to rush (ha ha) back. He dropped on the floor one day - accident, honest - but didn't break. I'll try harder next time.
I'm due to fly off next Thursday to try for a short break with my family and friends. If I have to cancel again then I think I'll just chuck it all in and fade away. So, no exciting news really but your messages of support and love have been lovely to read and I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner. Now..... where are those divorce papers??????????????????
Love and hugs to you all. Kryssy xxxx
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Kryssy
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I'll email tomorrow now as exhausted just rearranging the fish cell. I've moved everything except the bed. No-one came in at the noise and I don't think anyone's noticed either. I can now sit in the armchair and look at the frosted glass instead of being in the corner just looking at the saggy bed - ha ha. I've photographed everything, especially my friend the machine trying to keep straight on my sagging mattress. I have given him the bathroom stool to sit on. He looks happy enough. Already got a backache from sitting on the bed for half a hour - or was it the furniture removals? I'll get my reward tomorrow when they have to move in another bed but first try to extract me from this one. I thought better of the Chenieux. It's a private clinic of sorts. They are having a new wing put on the urgences so they've got money to spend. Chat tomorrow. Hope you are feeling ok. xxxxx
Oh God Kryssy I laughed out loud reading your post. Once thing you haven't lost is your sense of humour and the ability to articulate/describe so well. God love you lady, hope you get away on Thursday. Everything crossed for you (and poor hubby). xx Kathy xx
Very entertaining. Glad to hear that there is an improvement. Perhaps speak to them about the bed. Not reclining properly must be uncomfortable and as you stated may mean you end up with some aches and pains that are unnecessary.
Hi sweetie. You know I get my dark times but somewhere inside me there's always this little minx that shows up when I need her most. Or, is that the morphine..... xxxxx
I think it’s the minx in you. We all have it 😊 I was bowling the other night with my special person as she is celebrating the big 60! Anyway I invited a couple of my friends, my best friend who I’ve known 21 years. Being us, we were playing bowl two balls down the alley, not the traditional one ball 😂 xxxxx
Thanks Julia but my ramblings sound like a load of old Pollocks to me. I will keep them coming, if there is anything interesting to report. Glad everyone finds theirs smiles for a while. xxxxx
My dear friend - what a shitty time you’re having - although you still have a sense of humour incredibly! I wish I could come over and help you fill in those divorce papers.
Looking forward to your post which says things are on the move, in the mean time I’m sending all my love and best wishes, Ali x
Good morning my stability sister. What happened to that then? Still, they can't destroy the sisterhood. I'll write another chapter as the girls seems to find my musings a tad amusing. I find them hilarious to be honest but then I've always seen humour in everything, but only if it's directed at me. I don't find other people's pain and suffering as funny. I just don't get You've Been Framed for that reason. I hope you can find something to smile about today and are feeling ok. Big love. xxxxxx
You’ve Been Framed and all ‘reality’ television really is a travesty - designed to humiliate in the name of entertainment - no wonder there’s an increase of bullying in schools. Rant over.
The sisterhood is still as strong as ever - rooting for each other at all times. Today I shall mostly be re-writing my will and discussing Lasting Power of Attorney with my solicitor. I originally though there was no point in me having LPA for the bloke (for obvious reasons) but then my daughter reminded me that he’s doing dangerous sailing stuff at the end of the year so maybe it makes sense.
Oh yes and I’m having my mid chemo scan later. Such excitement!
What a position you've found yourself in but if they are pleased with how you're doing then that must be encouraging. And the farts herald better things in that dept too. A new layout and the prospect of a better bed perhaps then perhaps even the fish smell will go. You really did have the weekend blues, didn't you? You'll pick up again after you've seen your lovely onc so don't let the buzzards get you. Good luck and keep writing - we love your humour and strength through thick and thin. Gina xx
Forgive me but,I was larfing reading this xx You are full of life my love and nobody will ever take that away from you...humour takes incredible strength, especially when those caring for you in Holby S are clearly totally incompetent...
Sending lots of good thoughts for that trip with your friends🤞🙏😘God you deserve it and some!
I’m sorry I am laughing Krissy, but I love your attitude, if you didn’t laugh, you would cry!
I just hope things improve for you soon, I have been hard on the old Hubbie, they try their best, but I too can be impatient when they don’t grasp the situation.
Aw Kryssy you still make me laugh even when you’re having a shi**y time ......or not in your case!
No entertainment, internet or contact with the outside world all weekend wooooah that’s definitely grounds for divorce lol! Did he even expect you to converse with him when he visited Lol? The cheek of the man!
Think it’s lovely you’re now living with French fairies in a viewless fish smelling cell let’s hope it’s just damp enought that the toadstools can grow 😂
Seriously though I know it’s utter crap that your plans are forever getting scuppered by this bas***d disease but please don’t give up and fade away we will all be rooting for you to get back your mojo as soon as possible!
I really hope you start to get some movement soon and start to feel better x
Wow 1400 calories a day you will have to just chase Brillo pad beard up the corridors to burn some off!
Sending huge hugs and much love lovely and keep that brilliant sense of humour xx
Morning Bev. You absolutely get me. I'm going to get a photo of Nurse Brillo for the record. He let me touch it yesterday. Felt like a Brillo pad. I'll know where to go when I've got a stubborn sticky bit which needs a scrub. xxxxx
No Lisa. Just smells like plastic. I've had two lemon ones and one cream one so far. The cream one tends to stop a lot. If they come in with a chocolate brown one then I'm not sharing ..... xxxx
Hi Kryssy. Hope by now your lovely Onc has sorted out your gruesome cell. I’m in awe of your talent to turn a grotty situation into a very funny rant. You’ve brought laughter to many of us today. Fingers are crossed for your family getaway later this week. Jo 🌺🌼🌸🌻🌹
Hi my Lovely, you are having a hard time , the morphine sound like fun, my GP has put me in contact with a person who I can get medical cannabis oil from, he assures me i won't be seeing fairies .
I hope you get to see the family, do not sign those device papers becourse of the person who shall remain unnamed forgot , the good ones can be hard to find.
take care my friend lots of love and hugs Lorraine💙💙 xx
Loved this Kryssy, fabulously written- it did make me laugh! Hoping things start moving for you and you're able to get away for that well deserved break. Maybe divorce the hubby after the hol......x
Kryssy - you put a smile on my face with your tales of Holly S....y!! Seriously hope things start to move soon and you will be home again and manage that trip with your family. ❤️
I know I shouldn't laugh as you are having a really shit time but your post has made me chuckle. Your descriptions are excellent. And yes, I am sure it is the lunatics Look ing after the patients! Enjoy your TPN( total parenteral nutrition = white and yellow fun bags) xxxx
Kryssy - you’re going to have to start being very French and complaining A LOT to get a better bed etc. Just start ringing that bell. I think it’s hard for us Brits to do it but you must. Ok??! Il faut râler, beaucoup - N
Thanks for making me smile! Seriously though I do hope you can get out of thete as soon ad possible.
Ha ha - you should write a book all about your journey. It would be a best seller!! saw a great quote yesterday " I am not afraid of storms, for I have learnt how to sail my ship"
Lord, what a time you're having, nightmare - but you are absolutely a testament to what I've always believed is the way to get through life, and you too have the ability and the humour (albeit black humour) that, when all else fails, take the p!#% out of it... I swear my black sense of humour has got me through all the bad (and good) times... its a gift, and you use it well. Thank god for the morphine, or your fishy smelling cave with no view would seem even worse.... keep trucking on,, hoping for movement soon (in more ways than one, obviously)...
Hi Kryssy--ahhh-my husband has been my soon-to-be-ex many a time and he's still here. Why, if they can move you to fishy-smell floor, can they not move you back to airy, large bathroom-in-room floor? Make a stink (besides the farts) and get back to the other! I am sorry you are going through all this Kryssy but I did read in there they felt you were doing better. Do you trust them enough and feel it enough that you agree? I have everything crossed for you to get out of there soon. oxoxoxoxo Judy
Exactement mon amie. And at the very moment I started to type the door opened and in came the nurse but then realised that I'm not to eat and went back out again. Now all the smells are left behind and it smells like some sort of animal with stuff and I would eat the lot, and the plate, if I could get my hands on it. How cruel is that??
They say no food and they intend to keep to it. I guess it's for the best. I don't exactly know where the blockage is - small or large bowel - so until someone tells me then I'll not understand why I'm starved to death.
Hoping you are still on the good road of the journey. Lots of love Kryssy xxxx
I'll do another episode when there's something interesting to report - for instance, I've eaten the bed.....
When I had a blocked bowel I starved for 6 days then the blockage cleared itself. I was so disappointed that I didn't lose any weight. How vain is that? xx
I really do feel for you Kryssy, so don't get my feeble joke wrong.... that's cos they knew they had to get your initial enthusiasm for their health service out in the outside world, before you were introduced to a wider experience of it!!
I guess like anywhere, not all bits are as smooth and weekends can feel pretty quiet, if not quite as bad as yours.
Your soon to be ex actually sounds pretty saintly most of the time, so forgive him.....(writes she who never does).
My limited experience of French male nurses also figured very odd beards. Is this part of a uniform/ a secret cult/ have you gone back in time to the 1960s?
Do they have heat pads ( coussins chauffants) for pains in backs? Worth asking?
Cheering farts seems good practice to me and was exactly what I got after my bowel resection. It made me feel so much better that they took the musical accompaniment to their walking day in their stride and didn't mind the stench! Perhaps that's why you've been banished to the cellule poissonniere?
All I can wish you is (rather appropriate )pre-exam wishes,, my dear.....merde, merde and merde, Enough of this shitty nonsense.
Oh - and I'm sure French hospital bouillon will be better than ours, if you get to get it. And on the weight gain front.... don't worry about. I'd put kilos on through IV liquids. Once it stopped it took no time for me to drop to the weight I was in about 1966 and I looked like an Oxfam ad of the same period.
Stay strong!! And ask your saint to bring in some lavender oil or similar to waft around. xxx
Oh there speaks a woman of experience - à la française. I hadn't realised that the beard thing was some sort of strange secret society sign (alliteration explosion there !). Do they all meet up at night around the back of the geriatric ward and dance naked around a drip? The mind boggles.
Got my heat pad from home and have been using it daily to heat up the tum.
Got my vanilla air purifier from home as my first bathroom had a plumbing odour - as they do here.
In fact, I think there is more of my home in this room now than there is in my home..... Hubby brought my things in a suitcase yesterday. Can't fit it into the wardrobe so it's sitting there, looking at me, as if I'm about to jet off to the Carrybeeny at any moment. As if.
I don't worry about the weight - I am the perfect size 10. It's just all my excess skin makes me two sizes bigger. I don't think I've lost any weight but hard to tell as I'm in very sexy negligees all of the time a.k.a. long T-shirts.
Thank you for being there and keeping my spirits up. Bless you all. xxxxxx
You never fail to make me either laugh or at least smile. You are so entertaining. I bet all of your friends just love being around you and you are the laugh of the party. I hope things get figured out very quickly so you can be on your merry way.
Sendings you hugs! ❤️ Peggy xx
On my goodness Kryssy, please write a book! I can't believe you are so ill, but I've been laughing my socks off at your predicament.
I do hope the team can get your system working again and the family reunion happens for you.
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