Cervical smear: Well, you’ve got to laugh 😂. I... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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Cervical smear

Cropcrop profile image
17 Replies

Well, you’ve got to laugh 😂. I’ve had a letter inviting me to go for my routine smear test, I rather fancied forwarding the letter to the hospital where I had my surgery because they have my cervix but thought better of it, but I do have a rather naughty sense of humour 😂.

I contacted my GP surgery to ask why I’d had this letter and got an officious woman saying it was mandatory testing for all ladies, I asked her to check my records to see why I shouldn’t have the test, this is where it got fun, she confirmed my records show I don’t have the neck of my cervix but said it would be good to come anyway just to make sure I was ok 🤔 😬. I’m sure you can imagine my response but I was very polite and suggested I didn’t go 😊, she eventually concurred.

Then, just to enhance the whole experience, she suggested that while I was on the phone I might like make an appointment to see the nurse for a kidney function test because of my ‘high blood pressure’ thus saving the NHS the cost of sending me a letter, I asked her to tell me what my last reading was, she checked and said it was 123 over 81. Now I’m no doctor but even to my limited medical knowledge this is well within the normal range (it’s probably the only thing that’s normal about me 😂). I asked her if she knew what the required average normal blood pressure was and she confirmed an ideal one is around 120 over 80 and this confirmed that mine is high 😖 eek!.

Anyway the upshot of all this is that I don’t have to have a smear test (phew!) and I don’t have to have the kidney function test because of my none existing high BP.

I suppose they’re just being thorough but you gotta laugh really.

Keep well ladies, enjoy the sunshine ❤️Xx Jane

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17 Replies
Kryssy profile image
Kryssy

For once I am speechless...... xxx

Emsymits profile image
Emsymits

😂

Seasun36-uk profile image
Seasun36-uk

Oh dear, misinformed or what? Now I was going to ask my GP (about smears) as somewhere I heard that they can test the cells of the ‘vault’??

Has anybody else heard this/had it done? Lx ☀️🌺

Yoshbosh profile image
Yoshbosh in reply to Seasun36-uk

A friend of mine in N. Ireland has to go for vault smears, but when I asked my gynaecologist, he said it wouldn’t be necessary, and he couldn’t see why my poor friend still had to go through them! I’m happy not to go. Mind you, I’m still waiting on an admin cock-up inviting me to one 😄

Flamingobeef18 profile image
Flamingobeef18

When I queried my need to have a smear test I received a very officious letter saying they were withdrawing my invitation to check my cervix because I “ did not have one “ ! Talk about brusque. I just found it amusing but I am not sure everyone would have felt the same.

BeeWild profile image
BeeWild

Oh my oh my the saying ‘can’t get the staff’ springs to mind!! Lol glad you’ve still got your sense of humour in tact 😂😂

BellmoreBelle profile image
BellmoreBelle

Nicely handled! I tore up the letter I received to go have a mammogram, since the full body CT scan I'd had only a few weeks before showed "all clear". Talk about a system not being joined up! I also have gotten texts saying, "Our records show you haven't had your blood pressure taken in 5 years" - yes, except for the hundred or so times I had it taken in hospital and at every single chemo session and check up since... For heaven's sake. Probably the most ridiculous one, however, was getting the appointment for the operation for the kidney stents I was supposed to get put in prior to my operation (proper) - booked on the very same day, at a different hospital. I politely rang up and cancelled the former. I didn't realise it was a sign of things to come...

in reply to BellmoreBelle

It's entirely up to you if you want to go or not. They can't force you.

Sunfleury-UK profile image
Sunfleury-UK

This happened to me although having read similar posts, it didn't come as a complete shock.

In the UK, smear tests are managed from a central point (somewhere in the midlands I think, from memory.

The centre contacts all GP surgeries and they confirm the list of women (it's a clerical rather than clinical exercise)

In order to be taken off the list, your GP needs to manually modify your records. You can discuss with them doing this at any time. You can also contact the GP surgery, ask to speak to the practice manager or similar and ask them to confirm this with a GP and take appropriate action. Some GPs may want to have confirmation from your gyny consultant that they are not recommending a vault smear test as an alternative.

For some women getting the letter can be distressing, for some amusing!

The centre which manages smear tests can't and won't stop sending letters until there is the 'action' from primary care. You can't deal with them directly, they will point you bacj to your GP practice... I know because I tried!

Sxx

Some of the office staff at surgeries can be very rude!

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do!

Coolroses profile image
Coolroses

Ha! Me too. I said they could of course do a smear and could find my cervix in a jar, on a shelf in the lab. Easiest most painless smear yet. 😸

bamboo89 profile image
bamboo89

Great story, made me laugh, but ooh, I would have had some fun with that! Its not the fact you got a letter re a smear test so much, because yes, its a central thing that only sends out computer generated reminders to women on the database and does nothing else, but the person you spoke to, well... all sorts of comments spring to mind. This person clearly had no medical knowledge at all, or possibly didn't have more than two functioning brain cells to rub together, yet apparently felt entirely qualified to suggest your blood pressure was high, despite its being a very healthy reading. Now I'm old, I've lost count of how many people in such positions I've encountered who are officious, and in all cases, the person being officious has very little real knowledge at all, in fact, its almost like a warning signal that what they feel is powerful because of their job, not because they know anything. But to be fair, I'm not complaining because now I'm old, the opportunity to play 'I've got you now you b8274rd' is one of the few pleasures left in life for me; that game means you go along with whatever nonsense they're spouting, and finally point out, in the most pithy manner, just how risible they're being, using facts and information that they clearly either don't possess, or are too thick to know. Being thick per se usually means I'm kind to people, but not if they're doing what that person did... what if she'd said that to a patient who was ignorant of blood pressure readings, they might have been very worried that their blood pressure was 'high' on top of being a person living with cancer, its outrageous. But these things happen all the time, I was once contacted by my GP surgery and 'ordered' to pick up the forms for a cholesterol test; when I asked why, she said it was because the hospital wanted it repeated. First I'd heard of it, so I checked - what they wanted repeated was, yes, something beginning with C, but it was C reactive protein, a fact which I took great pleasure in pointing out. I must really be bored to get so much entertainment value from such things!

Cropcrop profile image
Cropcrop in reply to bamboo89

Love your reply. In a previous existence I was a medical receptionist (not a GP receptionist I hasten to add) and the various services I worked on behalf of gave me appropriate and relevant training so I knew enough to know what to ask patients and what not to ask. So given my experience I love it when the receptionists treat me like a half whit 😂, you are right though there are some dim whits out there in positions of ‘power’. I live by the Latin expression of nil illegitimi (loosely translated don’t let the barstewards grind you down ha ha) and I like you am getting longer in the tooth so too love to play your game and on occasions lend them a bigger shovel to dig the hole they’re eminently qualified to dig before pointing out the error of their ways. Keep up the good work and keep as well as you possibly can lovely ❤️Xx Jane

bamboo89 profile image
bamboo89 in reply to Cropcrop

Now there's a girl after my own heart - lending them a shovel, absolutely, even more fun!

Di16 profile image
Di16

I had a letter when my smear test would would have been due, saying there would be no need for them to send for me, as I no longer had a cervix. As if I didn't know! Even writing that letter was a waste of time & money surely. Di

ZenaJ profile image
ZenaJ

I've had 3 invitations to have a smear test and told it's a routine letter and still worth going. I worry about them sometimes. xx

Welshandproud profile image
Welshandproud

You gave me a good giggle. Thank youxxx

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