My Ovacome
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Daognosed stage 3 OC last week, daughters 10 and 14, how will we cope?

Hello ladies, looking for support as feeling so sad and shocked. I had ovaries and dallopian tubes removed last week. I had a CA125 of 478 and 12cm mass on ovaries. During surgery it was found that I have cancerous 'slithers' on my bowel, diaphragm and bladder. Plan is to start chemo (3 cycles) followed by bowel surgery then 3 more rounds of chemo. I am 50 and my daughters, who we have told about my diagnosis are only 14 and 10. How will my husband, myself and our beautiful daughters get through this? All I can picture is their future without me around. every day is like a recurring nightmare. We have wonderful family and friends around us but my daughters need their mum.

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I'm so sorry you've had this devastating diagnosis. We have all felt exactly as you feel now, but we kept on going, one step at a time. When I was first told I had cancer I immediately had a vision of myself in the hospice - my support nurse said 'that hasn't happened and we don't know if it will'. My advice is to live in the day you're in, look for the good in it, and take it all one step at a time. You will meet astonishing people whose job it is to help and encourage you (and your family!) and make you feel as well as you can be. I'm now two and a half years on from diagnosis and at the beginning I didn't even feel like doing the treatment! Wishing you courage for the journey.

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Oh gosh, Sticky 🙁 I can’t really say how you’ll get through it, but you *will* get through it. I think a lot of cancer peeps don’t realise how strong and resilient they actually are until they have to be.

From a practical perspective, you could ask at the hospital to see if counselling is available. I saw a counsellor for 6 weeks and spoke about all my fears with her. By about session 3, I decided I wasn’t going to die and my whole mood lifted. It literally happened overnight.

Like you, I have two daughters who are 9 and 6. Them growing up without me is still my biggest fear. I keep telling myself I’m not dead yet and we try to have a lot of fun together (to the detriment of the housework, and occasionally the homework!). I spoke to the schools about my diagnosis and they have put support measures in place to help the girls. They are both fairly oblivious as to why they get to spend an hour chatting to Mrs X each week, but I know the reason why.

We’re all here for you too. It’s a wonderful community, so welcome in!

Vicki x

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Hi, my sons were 9 and 14, so similar ages to yours, when I was diagnosed over five years ago. We chose not to tell them too much about what was happening at the time because we were struggling with digesting it ourselves. When I went in for my op we said I had a nasty cyst that needed removing and I would be home in a couple of days. That was a massive mistake as I was quite poorly afterwards and ended up in hospital for nine days. When they came to visit me I looked horrible and had tubes everywhere. The youngest was less aware but the eldest just clammed up and got really worried. We didn't find out until a few weeks later when he told us. He said he was imagining all sorts and if he had been told the truth he would have been less confused. What I'm trying to say is be as honest with them as you can and within reason as we weren't and it didn't help (speak to your CNS Nurse as she may be able to give you some information on what to say and what not to). As everyone on here will tell you you're experiencing the feelings of shock, fear and disbelief that we all understand. It's horrible and some days you will just want to hide under the covers and stay in bed all day but for your daughters and hubby's sake you won't. I used to force myself to get out of bed every day and carry on as normal. I kept very busy (the house was immaculate by the time I went in for my op) and I wrote endless lists for hubby and the in-laws who were lined up to help with the kids. You will get through this, just take each day at a time and try not to focus on the future, just focus on today. Hope this help, love Kerry x

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Hi

Welcome to the party 🎈🥂

Be careful you don’t over think it. You won’t know for some time what the future holds and there is no crystal ball 🔮 surgery is debilitating and anaesthetic makes you depressed

Enjoy every moment. I was diagnosed in 2012 and wasted a lot of time on the what ifs. Tomorrow is promised to nobody it’s just that cancer reminds us of our mortality. My youngest was 13 at the time and she was really upset of course but as treatment is a long drawn out process they do settle back into everyday life.

You’re here now. Front line treatment sounds really positive and you have all of us when you need a hug or to sound off

LA xx

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Thanks for replies. Its good to know of others in similar situations and how they are coping. Friends and family are amazing but I just lie in bed thinking that nobody knows what I, and we as a family are going through and how our lives have changed forever. It makes me so sad when I think of the lack of future. I'm sure this will get easier with time but for now its all so raw. Its all happened very quickly and literally a month ago I went to the doctors with a slightly swollen stomach and its been a downward spiral since. Also I am obsessed with statistics and planning how long I might be around for. I was a fit 50 year old before this and hope this will stand me in good stead for the future.

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Your underlying good health will help you through treatment. Just live here, now. Worry doesn't feel good, so focus on the present and enjoy each day. I was diagnosed 3C in November 2015 and I actually feel great right now. NED 20 months.❤

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The absolute WORST thing you can do is look at statistics!! I was the same plus my father was a Cancer Dr, so I was even more obsessed!!

If you want a huge injection of hope... that blasts statistics out of the water, I recommend you buy the book RADICAL REMISSION, by Dr Kelly Grant. It’s amazing. It’s based on research of 1000 people (it was her PhD) who defied the odds.

There is also a website: but I would read the book.

radicalremission.com

Love Nicky 💓

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What stages were you other ladies when diagnosed by the way? Do you think prognosis is often improved with a positive outlook, pushing ourselves on and not giving up? I've always been really active, loved life and had loads of energy. I'm determined that I won't lie back and give up!

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Hi love I was stage 4b and like you every thing was going ok I went to the doctor with a swollen stomach and got the results of the blood test within 3 day I was in hospital and found out I had cancer.

All I could think was I was going to die,in the next few weeks I was so scared I couldn’t eat or drink because I felt sick with worry. I’m not going to lie I still get worried and I’m seeing a counsellor but it does get easier once you have a plan sorted with the oncologist and you know what to expect.

I have two amazing children they are older but I still worry about leaving them as I do my husband as well, don’t think that will ever stop.

But most days I think my self lucky that at least I know about my illness some people walk out the door one morning and never return through accidents.

You will get through this love, you have your family and friends and us lot, on here there is always some one to talk to.

Trish x

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I was also stage 3, same as you Sticky. It was a bolt out of the blue because I’ve always been healthy, fairly active etc. and I was only 38 when diagnosed. I’m 40 now and have 2 years experience of living with OC.

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Never give up! Positive attitude is essential. I was diagnosed stage 3C five years into my retirement, age 63 - completely unexpected. I'd led a healthy lifestyle and was climbing hills the month before I was diagnosed. Then I got tired and ill quite quickly. Once I got through the first treatments, I got out walking again, and I make a big thing of maintaining a healthy lifestyle - and remaining the person I always was. I went skiing a year after first diagnosis, which was a great thrill for me.

Once you are through treatment there are excellent courses run by the charity Penny Brohn UK in Bristol on 'Living with the Impact of Cancer' - they touch on all the things you don't get from the hospital treadmill, and for me this was so helpful for staying in touch with reality. pennybrohn.org.uk/services/...

Also recommend Sophie Sabbage's book 'The Cancer Whisperer' - she says 'I have cancer, cancer does not have me' or something like that. It keeps you in control!

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Thanks for that information and great to hear you'd been back skiing! I've always had a big zest for life and want to try and keep that going. I don't want to be beaten by cancer so will try to stay as active and energetic as I can within reason. I want my lovely girls to see me as they always have but I'm finding it difficult to always have a smile on my face and be a 'fun mum' at the moment 😌

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You can't be happy all the time - that's not reasonable - so just accept the ups and downs, and enjoy lots of treats. Life is more special when you live it on the edge, somehow!

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Hi I’ve read your original post & all I can advise is to try to remain positive, I was diagnosed Stage 3 exactly one year ago to the day. I don’t have children so I was fortunate not to have to worry about them but I still worry about my husband & my elderly Mum & how would they cope but I try really really hard not to go there as it isn’t productive & you have to be mentally strong.

But no one knows what any of our futures hold last week a young Mum was hit by a huge pile of bricks just after dropping off her child at school and she died,a friend of mine 16 yr old daughter committed suicide Thursday both tragic but they made me realise I’m still here I’m alive and although I’m not 100% healthy I can still laugh love hug and cry with my family & friends and for that we must all be grateful and fight fight fight to live.

Wishing you all the best with your treatment xx

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I was diagnosed at Stage 3Aii in June 2015 and felt just the same as you. However, I have recently had my last 3 month CA125 telling me I am NED and that I can now have 6 monthly tests. I feel great and friends/family tell me I look great. Yes, a positive outlook is very important. I too was/am a very energetic person but the difference now is that I don't push myself as far as I used to. I listen more to my body and if I feel really tired I don't carry on any more, I put my feet up and rest with a nice cup of tea and a magazine. I have decided in my mind that I'm going to try and be a long term survivor as are many ladies on this fabulous forum. I always ate healthily but I've upped that even more - still with the occasional naughty treat - and now do more yoga as that's so good for mind as well as body. I get out in the fresh air as much as possible and cherish my time with family and friends, probably even more than before diagnosis. I wish you the very best for your treatment. Any more questions, we're all here for you. S xx

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Hi I was stage 3c I was diagnosed last july. Yes it is a shock and like you I thought I was fit and well enjoying my life, also I had breast cancer 6 years ago. I had a mastectomy and was fine. I thought I had done the cancer thing. I was shocked to get it again. I t is totally. Unrelated to the breast cancer. I really do believe that a positive frame of mind and outlook does help a great dealing every way particularly in how we respond to treatment. I find I am better carrying on with my normal life and enjoying all the things I have always done. I t sounds as though you have just the right attitude.

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Hi. I was 3c when I was diagnosed in Jan 2016. I had surgery first, which was much more extensive than anticipated as I had bits of tumour sticking to all sorts of places, and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks. Then came 6 cycles of chemo, and another 6 last year, and I'm now on Niraparib and doing well. I think it's almost worse for your family as they have to stand by and watch you go through treatment, feeling helpless. When they and others offer help of any sort - accept it graciously, and believe you aren't a burden to them because of your illness. It makes them feel useful, and you don't have to try to be a superwoman. You will get through this, though there are bound to be dark and difficult days, but the support of a loving family is invaluable, and gives us a reason to carry on despite setbacks. Wishing you all the best. X

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Hello, I was stage 3c, diagnosed 2 years ago.

My son is now 12, we were up front with him from the get go and I think he has benefitted from that.

You have been given such good advice from the lovely ladies on here, don’t read the stats we are all individuals and they just give an average!

Do live in each day, enjoy the moment, think about the future only in terms of practicalities when you need to but don’t dwell, it’s too bloody hard, you could get caught up in the what ifs and forget about enjoying the now.

Things will settle, it took me a good while to get my head around it but you will get there.

Sending lots of love and positive thoughts to you.

All the very best,

Lisa x

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I only recently finished first line treatment (successfully) -from CA-125 of 4000 to 9, and perfect surgery, etc.

I was very sick from the start, the cancer just wiped me out, so death did not seem so far away. Even though my daughter was an adult of 40 years, she is a fragile soul and I found it hard to tell her or anyone what the diagnosis was - stage 3 high grade serous carcinoma of Ovarian or Fallopian tube origin (and at first they said stage 4, but it turned out that the cancer had not invaded any organs, I was simply riddled with tumours and ascites and blood clots in my lungs).

The treatment was hard, but it killed the damn things. Every hair that I lost was a triumph over the disease.

The silver lining to all this was how my family, spread all over the world, pulled together. I live in the U.K., but I am American, and my sister from LA, who had experience with Chemo, came to Bath to help with my care, and stayed for 3 months, training my daughter, who moved back home and took on the rest of the responsibilities. My husband had to take over my business, which we had to downsize, devastating our finances, and now broke, my other sister from San Francisco sends me money each month to help with the household bills.

Every other relative, brother, cousins and aunts, have kept in close touch, following my journey closely through my daughter, who acted as my PA, sending out emails and texts each night.

I was too sick at the start to do anything, and like you, spent a lot of time in hospital, too weak to text even.

But now I am great! Gaining weight and getting stronger every day.

I forgot to mention friends and neighbours, who have also been amazing. For most of my treatment, I was too sick and felt too ugly to see anyone, but family, but neighbours cooked dinners, even though my husband's a great cook, and I could not eat anything , and made sure he got a night or two off, since he had to take care of our business by himself, he was stretched to the limit.

Anyway, with good team effort, medical treatment and family support, you will get through this and your daughters will rise to the occasion.

Best wishes,

Laura

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Hello there,

I’m so sorry you find yourself here and can completely sympathise as my story very similar to yours. I was diagnosed myself stage 3 one month ago, a month before that had a total hysterectomy. I also have children Twins age 12 and it has been incredibly difficult. But the kids are resilient and as the weeks have passed have accepted things are different and that Mum will be needing chemo soon (I start on Monday) just to get rid of any pesky cells that might be floating around.

You will cry a lot but in time that lessens. For me once my chemo was scheduled and I met the nurses last week I felt better as a plan was in place.

It’s good that you are active and healthy and that will stand you in good stead. In terms of prognosis I haven’t asked my oncologist as everyone is different and reacts differently, there are many long term survivors of OC out there and no reason why you or I won’t be those women! Keep that in your mind at all times!

There are many lovely ladies on here who will offer you support as they have done for me. I know how difficult and emotional this time is but you can and will get through this with the support of your loving family and friends.

I’m sending you huge hugs and lots of luck for successful treatment,

Liz Xx

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Hello! I was dx in 2015 stage 4, my daughters were a bit older but the youngest was just off to university. As others have said you will cope...ok chemo and surgery are not just a walk in the park but you will get a recovery week after each round...plan some nice things to do. Once you finish treatment hopefully you will feel pretty well. I am just heading towards chemo again after two great years living my life and having lots of fun times with my girls.

Anxiety can creep up periodically ( for me and for them) but we talk and we support each other. I completely understand your take on this as a disaster- the whole thing is a shock and not what any of us planned but you can still have a good life with your girls and maybe cancer makes us focus on the important things in life xxx

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Sorry you’ve had this news. My children were 14 and 11 when I got my diagnosis in 2015. We told them the truth from the start and they coped extremely well. Children are much more resilient than we think and mine have seen me through 2 major surgeries and now I’m in my second recurrence. It makes me sad that my cancer has just become part of their lives over the last 3 years but the trick is that their lives just go on as normal - they go out with friends, my daughter is now learning to drive (eek!!) and when I’m too ill to go out with them they often come and lie in bed with me to watch TV or chat!! This is still very new and raw for you all and as you get on with treatment you will all settle into new routines. I still cry a lot when I think of not being here with my children but 3 years later I am still pushing on and intend to keep going for as long as I can.

Look after yourself xxxx

Becky

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Hi.

Absolutely know how you feel.

I was diagnosed at 50 , stage 3. I’m 52 now and doing ok. Been through the surgery and a recurrence. I’m in remission again.

My son is older than your girls but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. It broke my heart. I’m the one who should be there for him. Yet I’m

The one who’s ill.

It’s bloody awful but you will be here for a very long time. Just take each day as it comes.

It’s a chronic illness. Comes and goes.

Be happy with your family as yes you’re going to have a bumpy ride but ride you will and you are going to be there for them.

Big hugs. Xxxxx

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OK, seems like walls falling in on you, u nd to keep the strength 💪, be positive n dig yr heels in, your not gonna let this bastard get u down. Ask questions, laugh every day, rest, take as much chemo etc as your offered, don't let the cure feel hopeless and ill, eat little and often if what you fancy. Xx

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You have had a terrible thing foisted on you, but you have found our forum so that is a good thing. I was diagnosed 3c/4b (long story) June 2016. Two lines of chemo and op have gone by. I’m still here, on a trial drug doing ok.

I have 2 sons who were 15and 18 at diagnosis. You will have a lot to process but I would say this:

Everyone with OC, peritoneal, Fallopian tube etc Cancer is different. Everyone’s journey is different, we all have roughly the same initial treatment, bar the surgery which some do or don’t get, but then the story is your own and no one else’s.

Try not to google stuff as it is often misleading and can give you an inaccurate idea. Speak to your nurse specialist, people here, the Ovacome Helpline, find your local cancer charity, a Maggies Centre if you have one near you (fabulous places to visit, really brilliant).

Take each day at a time. Try not to think too far ahead at the moment. Things will solidify a bit as you go along. Spend time resting and trying to do something you enjoy every day.

Take care and I hope we have shown you there is life after diagnosis. Albeit a bit strange and not as it was. Xxxx Netti

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When My cancer was diagnosed, I immediately assumed I wouldn't have long to live, & worried about telling my husband & family, though my daughters are grown up. 10 years on, I'm still here, & in no hurry to go, though I have needed further treatment. A cancer diagnosis is bound to be a worry, but doesn't always mean not long to live. I hope your treatment goes well. Di

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Luv this positive x

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Our naughty minds immediately switch to fight or flight. A coping strategy that works well when running away from a lion, not very helpful when the cause of our threat is inside us. We can’t get away or fight ourselves as our instinct desires so we have to find another way to manage the panic. Everyone has different methods I’m sure but for me meditation helps calm the nervous system which stops that flood of damaging chemicals in the body. Looking too far ahead is natural but useless because it hasn’t happened yet. Try to stay present and not leap to scenarios that are often scary and overwhelming. Believe me I’ve done it all over the last 4 years and it only hurts me I found so I don’t anymore. I’m kind and nurturing to myself. My way of fighting isn’t to get angry but to fill myself and my life with love and as much joy as I can. You will get bad days, screamers, days when you want to just give up but it never stays the same so just go with it. My kids have been amazing (11, 13, 15) they have Counselling when they want it but they have adjusted and are sensitive, caring and so loving. I could go on and on but just know things will be alright it’s adjustment and openness and humour that gets us through. Take good care xx

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Sickey3006---what you're feeling is so normal. I went to the doc with a swollen belly too---only symptom and had an inkling but it was quickly confirmed. The beginning was hard--so much to digest, more info almost daily with different tests being done--my husband and I would leave these appointments and just stare at each other--couldn't even talk.

My boys--in their 20s--we found out later had texted with each other to say "something is up" as we did not want to say anything till we had all the facts and now think we should have told them earlier. Once we sat them down about it, they were beyond wonderful, supportive, and one thing (made me cry every time) was the saying in our home "we are all in this together". Gave me strength, love, and confidence that we would get through it all. My extended family and friends were and are wonderful and supportive too. Diagnosed 4a with ca125 at 3600 and finished that treatment with ca125 of 5 and no evidence of disease.

Swimming is something I like to do daily (and long walks) and I kept swimming almost daily (surgery recovery and chemo day aside) and still do. I think it kept certain effects of chemo away, helped me recover faster from surgery and kept my spirits up. Sometimes you just can't but if you love to exercise and are in good shape, it will be helpful to you through this journey.

You CAN do this and you know how much your kids will be able to handle (and I think the truth--in whatever dose they can handle at their age--is better in the long run).

You found a great place to talk about your fears, anxiety, successes and more. These are the most supportive, caring and strongest women I know. They will all help you too.

oxox

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I felt the same as u I’m 42 my daughter was two when diagnosed she’s now 3. As silly as it sounds it does get easier through time when u have a plan of action. I’m here 4 u x

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Thank you for all your supportive words, it makes a huge difference to know I'm not alone. I'm feeling better now everybody knows my diagnosis and I feel that although I have this shocking disease life will go on and it will be full of positivity most of the time. Who knows what's around the corner for any of us so hopefully now we'll appreciate things even more than we did before x

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Hi, so sorry to hear your diagnosis. There's no one way of dealing with this. I can promise you though that there are many survivors. I myself am stage 3C with spread to bowel but it's nearly five years now and I'm still here and I'm older than you too so you have an excellent chance.

Each day will be different, some difficult some not so much. Take each day and live it to the best that you can. Accept help when it's offered and before you know it it will be Christmas and you'll look back and see how much better you feel.

There will be plenty of advice and support on this site. Don't hesitate to let out your feelings, we're all here to help you.

Best wishes, Zena x

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Hi there, my situation was very similar to yours: stage 3c, 42 with a 12 and 9 year old. I was otherwise fit and healthy with a busy job. The diagnosis was such a terrible shock, felt like our whole world was turned upside down. I can relate to how you feel as I was also anxious about the future and read all the statistics which was terrifying. That was however 2 years ago, I'm currently in remission and so much better physically. I also manage to keep positive and try not to actively worry too much about the long term. I decided to not to return to work so enjoy doing lots of nice quality things with family and friends. I hope your the rest of your treatment goes well. So glad to hear you have such a good support network around you as it really makes a huge difference. Take all the help you can. Very best wishes, Jo xx

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Thank you for all the responses to my post. It still seems so bizarre that only five weeks ago we were a 'normal' family, looking forward to an Easter week away and now our lives have changed so dramatically. I still make up little scenarios in my head where I'd noticed something was wrong and I'd acted sooner or for some reason I'd thought to go for a full MOT and my raised CA125 had been detected but I know I'm only punishing myself. A good friend of mine said today that I'm grieving for the life we used to have and the life we have now will be different but can still be as full and happy. I have to accept this and I hope in time I'll lose the bitterness and sadness I feel and accept what has happened. My two lovely daughters will be my inspiration to be positive and continue making the most of each day.

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Sticky, I haven't read every word shared by the others but I can see you 'have got the gist' of how supportive everyone is. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned the Ovacome freephone helpline on 0800 008 7054? Anna, the support service manager has loads of experience in cancer and support, is well worth a ring if you've questions or just feel family and friends 'need a break' from your swirl of feelings and thinkings!

Be kind to yourself through all this. My GP's advice, of five years ago at my recurrence of stage 3c, was "Your job is to focus on growing the healthy cells...leave the killing to we medics." You have mentioned about 'positivity' - yes, many of us feel it is well worth working at everyday and focusing on health and happiness is a great start. Hang on Sticky...we're all rooting for you.

Warm wishes, Lesley x

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Thenk you Lesley for your lovely response. I hope you're looking after yourself too. It's so true that we have to focus on ourselves first, something a lot of us aren't used to doing. I'm working on more 'me' time and letting others take the strain of daily life. I'm also hoping to just basically relax more at home and not stress over things of little importance-washing, cleaning, being too housepround etc. My full time manic job is also going to go which is a big plus. It's a lot to deal with but I'm hopeful it can be done. X

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I don’t know how, but you just seem to find the strength, I find my 3 children the driving force. Early months are incredibly hard, grieving for the loss of your ‘old’ life, uncertainty around treatment. I found once I started treatment, I was better able to ignore the statistics and focus on my own treatment path. You will cope, and will be well supported here-somewhere you can be open and honest, rant and rave, celebrate and commiserate. Whatever is right for you, be kind to yourself xxx

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I know it’s devastating news for you and it sounds like you are in the early stages of hearing the news. This ‘shock’ phase will lessen, I promise. I know what it feels like to be living in this nightmare. You feel desperate I imagine?

Much of what you are feeling is FEAR. Fear can be helped through counselling ( I had quite a bit) and other therapies. I found a few sessions of hypnotherapy really helped.

The thing you can right now, is relaxation techniques if you can. And maybe speak to your GP too. Live in the moment and focus hard on bringing great moments into your life. A gorgeous hug or some flowers or a lovely meal. Do you have pets? I found all these helped a small bit but it will ebb away in time. It sounds to me like you are still in the ‘flight or fight’ place. Make sure you rest and also avoid coffee. This can ram up your Adrenalin and make you far more anxious.

Yoshbosh is right... you have the strength in you. It just needs to be found and it will I promise.

Love Nicky xx❤️💓

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Hello there

What a dreadful shock for you i remember it so well xx. I was diagnosed 3b in 2014 age 49 spent my 50th birthday on chemo. I had been out running the day before diagnosis and ailed nothing until i found a lump xx I remember that gut churning anxiety every morning as i woke at the thoughts of my family being without me. but support from others helped quite quickley and i tried not to look too far ahead. As other say small steps try and focus on something good each day x. I actually went to the holistic centre at my hospital and had some hypnotherapy which i loved (more about relaxation) but we consentrated on focusing the chemo to attack the cancer for me it was about taking a bit of control back x. After the op he came and saw me on the ward and it helped with the pain too. So my advice is when your ready find your strong side and bring out the big guns xx dont google those figures they are out of date and not about you personally.

The reality is a different one now and you cant put the genie back in the bottle, but its not all bad i have had 4 years of loving every second, making memories and holding those i love close..... and still going xxxx

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That's great to hear. You sound like you're motivated and in control. Am seeing oncologist today and feeling positive. Have just been for a big dog walk followed by healthy breakfast and now taking kids rock climbing 👍 X

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Perfect keep busy xx and make a battle plan 😉💕

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My heart goes out to you and to your family. I was the same age as you when I was diagnosed;(3c) my children were 10 and 14. It was devastating; I completely understand the feelings you describe, and that your mind wants to fast forward to an imagined future time with a gap where you should be. Perhaps feeling grief for the future of your children. . There's been so much wise advice on here already - making the most of the moment, remembering you are you and not a statistic, counselling and hypnotherapy - I wont add to it. I can tell you though that though of course there have been difficult times my girls have come through the process of my diagnosis and treatment brighter more beautiful and stronger than ever. They continue to flourish each day. Sometimes I think that being forced to get up close and personal to the impermenance of life, as a family, means we treasure each other and our family life more than we did before.

I am sending you the warmest wishes, and do hold onto hope. It sounds as if you are surrounded by the love and support which will carry you through this process

Elizabethe x

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Thank you for your reply. Yes its heartbreaking thinking of my daughters futures when I probably won't be there for them. I spend a lot of time thinking of things they'll be doing for the first time without me to guide and support them. Although their dad is great its a different relationship to the mother/daughter bond. But on a positive note I can already see a change in our relationship (even though very close we now seem much more patient and caring with each other) and I know that they'll have many loving people around them as they grow up. I have my first chemo in 10 days and next week have an 'introductory 2 day course' where I'll find out about therapies, diet and counselling. Something that I'd never have imagined only six weeks ago. xx

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That 2 Day course sounds really useful, hope it is. There are many new treatments coming through for OC which are very positive. I’m on a treatment now which was only just being developed when I was diagnosed 3 years ago - and it’s working really well for me . Also had lovely complementary therapies through Macmillan like reflexology .... I hope that your first chemo goes well, and you soon start to feel better.

Elizabethe x

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That's good to hear. The research are trials are so important, not just for us but for future generations. What are you currently having btw? X

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Hi Sticky, You will get through this because you have to. It's all still raw for you and like the rest of us think of our families probably more than we think of ourselves. I don't know where we find the inner strength but somehow it finds us. There are ups and downs but you can come out the other end.

We'll all be here to help you. I don't post much now as nothing is really changing for me to tell everyone but I keep in touch to show there is life with and after cancer. It's just a different life.

Wishing you all the very best, Zena x

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Thank you Zena for your reply. It's now over a month since my op and diagnosis and my children have been amazing. They're fully aware of what's going on regarding chemo, hair loss and treatment etc. and I think the fact they feel informed and aware has made a big difference. I was scared of burdening them with something so depressing but my GP said that this is how life is sometimes and children frequently surprise us with their understanding and acceptance of sad situations. I'm busy cooking and eating healthily, getting lots of exercise with my family and dog and just trying to live a normal life. So far so good! We're doing everything we can to stay strong and positive. Fingers crossed xx

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You sound really positive. I'm glad all is going well for you. Families are wonderful things.

Take care, Zena xx

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