Seen some of you over on FB and have even rejoined some of the OC groups & seen you on there. Left them previously as it seemed all doom and gloom. Maybe I’ve grown a second skin in the past year and don’t let it breach my emotional barriers too often. Having said that you only need to join a few groups and it’s impossible to keep up, and a massive time waster a lot of the time! My concentration span is appalling.
My current status (Jan 2017) is that the Olaparib/Lynparza is likely not working for me. My count & symptoms have continued to increase. Next step is likely Chemo in March I think... well that’s the oncologists plan anyway.
I’ve been taking Rick Simpson cannabis oil since the beginning of December as I’ve heard so much stuff and am being nagged by family and friends and let’s face it what have I got to lose?!
We were very lucky and found a good source almost immediately. My tolerance levels were zero initially and so I felt really stoned but I had started to build some resistance I thought. Except I threw up big time last night and haven’t felt quite right since. Zero appetite. Am trying to eat well/alkaline/veggie etc but it’s not easy when you don’t want anything.
Pleural effusion def worse. Can hear the crackling as I lay down to sleep. It’s horrible. I’m trying to walk a bit bit not gonna lie, it’s a massive chore!
I’ve got my supplements, am drinking water when I remember. Zero alcohol as I def don’t want to mix with the cannabis! 🤢
I’m feeling fearful a lot lately. And emotional. Crying way more than I used to. Can’t work out if the oil affecting me this way? I cried at the thought of eating dinner the other night. I felt drunk, disorientated and overwhelmed. I’m reverting to a baby!!
No real point to my post as such, I guess it’s a general update, an acknowledgement of my fear (which escalates as I have the not-so irrational fear of things suddenly taking a serious downward turn...) believe me I’ve thought a LOT about dying lately 😢 and I’m also intrigued to know if anyone has delved into cannabis oil? And their experiences of it. I’m serious. I’m finding it so hard to discuss due to the continued illegality of medicinal cannabis. (Please note I’m not referring to the legal CBD oil you can buy over the counter in the U.K.)
I hope this finds you well (I know it doesn’t overly but it makes me feel better if I say the sentiment). Sending you all big hugs. I def need them today. Am low but feel bad as so many others are struggling far worse atm. I really want to find my joy/laughter & fun carefree side again. As my husband said it’s not lost it’s just hiding for now. See. I’m blooming lucky I have a good one that I love to bits. See I’m smiling already!!
Much love all... xxx