Thank you all so much for your replies and encouragement. I appreciate every one and will stay connected for sure. I met my new oncologist yesterday. He was very nice with some pleasing human-like qualities, unlike many doctors I've met who are more robot than human.
The news was pretty much what I was suspecting, but hearing it out loud wasn't the most fun appointment I've ever had. I have Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which has spread to the liver. The tumours are all very small and inoperable, but since they're still small that's 'good'. I'm going to be starting 6 months of 2 weekly FOLFIRINOX in 2-3 weeks, which should keep it at bay and he said it will hopefully give me another 1-2 years, but nothing is guaranteed. Charming. Seeing the words 'Disease control/palliative' box ticked on the form gave me a small wobble last night. The new CNS also talked about referring me to St Peter's Hospice. I put my fingers in my ears and hummed God Save the Queen. Not what I wanted to hear yesterday. But she went on to say that since I'm so well at the moment (how frigging annoying is that?) she won't refer me yet. I actually feel better than I have in years.
The accidentally snipped ureter is a problem as I keep getting infections, so he wants that removed before I start chemo. More waiting. My beloved nephew is getting married in October and I'll hopefully be finished chemo by then, so I can put on the bling and an enormous hat and celebrate with my family.
I asked about the ovarian cancer and the chances of it recurring, and he said 'Pancreatic cancer trumps ovarian' and we had a little giggle. #rollseyes
Onward and Upward. I'm not going down without a fight.