Results to day 125 and scan ,not good.

Hi Ladies,

Went for my results 125 up from 65 to 150 and scan showed a tumor has grown same spot as diagnosed.

I did ask if it was possible to have this removed she felt because I also have spotting this needed chemo, I was expecting my 125 would be up as I had taken a break, (my choice) over Christmas as I have been on chemo for the best part of the 3 years of fighting, I needed the break to enjoy Christmas with my Family.

So now I have to face the results, my last treatment was Caelyx for 6 months hard at times but I manage, my new plain will be single Taxol, starting this week or next. The funny thing I don't know how I feel, I supposed I still have options and that is all I can ask for other then it would be good if the Taxol puts me into remission.

I been on this site for a while now and when I got home from the clinic you ladies were the first ones I turned to, thank you for being there for me and each other,

Lorraine xx

39 Replies

  • Dear Lorraine,

    You're obviously also awake in the early hours or maybe haven't yet managed to get any sleep, i' m joining you in that.

    I'm so sorry to read youtr news, what a blow after so long fighting too. I did recently read that surgery for recurrence is not recommended unless there is total confidence that everything can be removed. I imagine it's the spotting (?) that's swayed the decision.

    Good that your treatment is due to start soon,

    It's hard to get your head around and you've been dealing with this for some time so I send you a huge hug and my thoughts and prayers.

    I'm just waiting to go to A&E when I think anyone helpful will be there.

    You are not alone, although it does feel like that at times doesn't it.

    Take care

    Clare xx❤️💐

  • Hi Clare,

    Thank you for your reply I know that you are one of the first to respond to a call for help or advice, I do read your post and know that you are having quite a fight yourself, so my thoughts and prayers to you.

    Clare I'm in Australia the time here at the moment is 4pm Monday after noon.

    Sending you my BEST WISHES and here to our corresponding for a long long time to come.

    Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine,

    I hope you do sleep well later today then! And I'm sure you will get loads of replies and they do help don't they?

    Thank you for your kind words, whatever the distance or time it does help to get a response

    Clare xx

  • This is so typical of you Clare, being there for someone even when you are paddling up,your own s&£t creek. I almost wish you were more selfish but I suspect you are always going to be the caring helpful person you seem on here. Take care of you first!


  • Hi Netti, yes I have notice this in Clare myself. When she had bad news she was more concerned others might be worried about their own illness & she tried to put their minds at rest. Take care Cindyxx

  • It IS disappointing, but it is good to have a plan.

    How are you having the taxol? weekly or 3 weekly?

    I've got my Sydney friends lined up for Skype when I'm having steroid nights later in the week!

    Best of luck with it.

  • Hi Mac 27,

    Seems like you are up late like Clare, it's good you have a Skype friend, on my nights that I can't sleep my granddaughter (16 years old ) has written a children book and I am illustrating if for her, a labor of love.

    My Taxol will be 3 weeks on one week off.

    Best wishes Cheers Lorraine xx

  • Thinking of both of you ladies xxxxx

  • Thank you Suzanne, best wishes to you also.

    Cheers Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine. I do hope this all turns out well for you. Immunotherapy is creeping into the conversation more & more, maybe that may be something for you.

    I used to buy so many books for my children. I love the illustrations. Not sure who enjoyed them the most. I still have them all here, can't bear to get rid of them. Waiting for grandchildren. Good luck. Pauline.

  • Thank you Pauline,

    I have been researching Immunotherapy sounds interesting.

    Keep your books for the grandchildren, my daughters are 40 plus and I kept my daughters toys for my grandchildern.

    Would be great if I could see my great grandchildren play with them, I can always hope.

    Cheers Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine I'm sorry to read your post.. it's great that you have a plan in place and start quickly. I wish you all the best on the next part of your journey. Big hugs Love Michelle xx

  • Thank you Michelle,

    I had that break at Christmas so all the side effects and the chemo seems to be out of my body, it's funny because I have no pain ( I'm lucky that way) and would like to keep on this break, but that is not possible so here I go again, like so many lovely ladies on this site.

    I wish you also all the best on your journey.

    Love Lorraine xx

  • Lorraine I am sure this can be sorted. Sometimes we just need to draw a line and you did that to enjoy time with your family. Good on you. Now comes the catch up and I'm rooting for you. I have much sympathy as I have not really got a remission and will be on a regular thing in a similar way to what you seem to have experienced. It is what it is tho.

    Best wishes to you over the hemisphere

    Netti x

  • Hi Netti,

    I did enjoy the 3 month break most of the time I tried not to let myself think about the beast ,but I had my bad days.Now it's back to fighting.

    Sorry to hear you also have not had a remission, but keep up the fight and keep in touch if you need encouragement.

    Cheers Lorraine xx

  • Lorraine thank you for your message.

    Take care and keep strong. Netti x

  • Hi Lorraine

    Sending you love and best wishes for your treatment . Can totally understand why you decided to have a break after 3 years must be exhausting and am sure once it kicks in everything will be back under control . How fantastic to be illustrating your granddaughters book and a great project to focus on whenever the mind starts to wonder

    Sending you lots of positive vibes. Stay strong love Kim X

  • Hi Purple-iris,

    The purple Iris is my favorite flower with yellow rose.

    It was good having the Christmas break with my family we went to the coast. 6 adults and 4 grandchildren the differences was, I had the energy to go to the beach instead laying around.

    This made it a good holiday for everyone.

    My granddaughter Abbey is a twin she is the artist and I love encouraging her and my other grandchild in the crafts, I've spent my working life in the art field so doing this book for her is helping me to focus. and not to slip into a dark spot at times.

    I wish you all the best on your journey Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine,

    I'm sorry you have to go back on to chemo so soon, but I am glad you have a plan, and like you say, you still have options. Let's hope single taxol kicks the beast into remission!

    Yosh x

  • Thank you Yosh,

    It would be great to go into remission we all hope for that.

    As I said this is the site I come to when I feel like talking about this beast, it's not always family or friends you need to talk to, I think they need a break from it also.

    I have had so much advice and encouragement over the 3 years from all the ladies, it has been a life saver at times.

    Cheers and best wish Lorraine xx

  • Hi. Sorry to hear that, it sounds as though you've had a tough time. I'm sure the break you've had will help you cope with the taxol. I'm just over half way through this regime, 3 weeks and then a break. I hardly noticed I'd had it for the first 4 weeks, though I am beginning to get some fatigue now at times, and it is a drag having to go in so often. I've had my halfway scan though and all but one of the tumours they can see on that have reduced. I hope it works for you too x

  • Hi Lesley,

    I am hoping you are right that the break has given my body time to build it's self up ready to fight again.

    I will be having the same regime as you 3 weeks on one off,

    and yes going in each week is a drag, I just finished 6 month Caelyx was quite hard at times but the best thing was it was one every 4 weeks.

    It's great to hear that the taxol is working for you and you are only half way though


    Cheers and best wishes Lorraine xx

  • His Lorraine, my heart goes out to you. That's a long time with out any breaks & of course you wanted to enjoy Xmas with out chemo that's understandable. I hope you can get into remission & stay there wishing you all the very best take care Cindyxx

  • Thank you Cindy,

    Sometime you need to talk to someone who understand what you are going through, so I feel lucky to have found this site the ladies have been a great help over the 3 years.

    I do have a very supportive family but my daughter have have families of their own to look after, I don't like to burden them, plus like all our families my grandchildren get upset when they see me not well.

    Thank you again and best wishes to you also.

    Lorraine xx

  • Thinking of you Lorraine!


  • Thank you DX,

    I know that I will go in fighting with the best wishes of all you lovely ladies ,

    and I send out my heart felt wishes to you and all on this site for a better future for us all.

    Cheers Lorraine xx

  • Thinking of you Lorraine and sending positive thoughts from UK

    Marian xx

  • Thank you Marian,

    The one thing about this site is that from half way around the world we can come in contact with so many encouraging ladies.

    Read their stories and follow their journey,

    So thank you for your positive thoughts I can feel them from here.

    Best wish from down under Lorraine xx

  • It really is horrible but you just have to keep going. Get started and get through it! Good luck!

  • Hi Carolelyn,

    Thank you for your reply, yes we do not have a choice do we.

    I will keep fighting as long as I can like so many ladies.

    I'm amazed at the strength of the ladies on this site and the ones that are not with us now, this bring to mind Gilly who pasted on recently a beautiful lady.

    And her work she did on awareness for ovarian cancer, Lets hope in the near future we will be able to wipe it out.

    Cheers Caroleyn xx

  • Lorraine- I am so sorry to hear your news. I'm sending you love and praying that the taxol wipes the s*#t out of your tumor and the spots too! I hope you are able to get rest and stay comfortable while it does its job? 💜🙏🏻🤞🏻

    Best, anne 🌸🌺🌼🌸🌺

  • Thank you Anne,

    Yes lets wipe the s*#T out of this beast so that we all can go back to living our life's. I'm ready to start again my break was 3 month and when the Taxol starts I will think to myself right this is it you Big S*#T take that,

    Cheers Anne, Lorraine xx

  • So sorry that your result are not more positive.... I totally agree with having a break the fight takes all your strength and determination you just need a breather to get back on the horse... fingers crossed the taxol brings on a remission and all the best for your treatment pathway .... sending big hugs 🤗

  • Hi Shellygirl,

    Thank you for your best wishes, I found out to-day my first taxol will be Monday I'm glad but also not happy about getting back on the horse as you said.

    Best wishes to you on your journey

    Lorraine xx

  • Good luck for Monday with the Taxol!

  • While I was in high school my boyfriend wanted me to go out with him for bathing in the lake. Bud I had to learn and I knew the possibilities of fall my exam, already had short time. But I went to lake with him, lost that exam I didnot prepear and - really never regret.

    Do not regret for that Christmas please.

    Chemo is possible always, Christmas tree once in a year.

    Sending you all my energy (still ok) and hugs

  • Thank you Enam,

    I don't regret the Christmas break had a lovely time with family. This Taxol is for 12 weeks so no matter what happen I think I'll take other break and go on a nice holiday after it's finished.

    Then hopefully a nice 2017 Christmas with the family again.all we can do is keep on hoping.

    Thank you again for your lovely wishes

    Lorraine xx

  • Hi Lorraine, I wasn't aware that another Aussie was on this site. It was only after you popped up in my news feed that I see you live in the blue mountains. I haven't had much luck keeping in contact with people on this site. I must have really uninteresting posts because I am lucky if I get 3 replies. Sometimes I want to pour my heart out and cry that this monkey on my back is too hard. Other times I don't want to discuss it any further. I have been fighting this thing since January 2013. I am tired of chemo and just finished radiation therapy. What fun that is. My kidney became blocked with a tumor and had to have a stent inserted. Oh joy. I guess I am fed up and want it all over. I hope you are feeling more love from the ladies on this site. I am sending you good thoughts and hopefully you are fighting on. Kind regards Sharon.

  • Hi Sharon, Yes I live in the blue mountains, and I'm not the only Aussie on this site, but I think the best thing about this site we can talk to lovely ladies from around the world. I have found all the ladies to be most helpful so do not do not give up on posting, even if you just need to pour your heart out. do feel free to post to me if you feel down, I know fighting for over 4 years is hard but you can not let this beast get the better of you, What chemo have you had and was the radiation successful ? also I hope you have some good support around you

    We all feel like you at times I'm now on my 3rd line chemo, I took a break over Christmas I know that it would go up but I needed to spent some quality time with my family I'm now on weekly Taxol.

    Please keep in touch Sharon and best wishes Lorraine xx

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