Hi Have'nt posted in a while. This May it will be two years since I finished my treatment. Over the last weeks I have been very anxious feeling tearry and generally unwell, still got a cough and at times feel really breathless. I have been to the GP had a chest xray came back normal. Sometimes the pain in my abdomen is so bad I feel faint. Has anyone else had these sort of feelings, I am beginning to feel like a hypercondriac. I feel I should be really happy after two years instead it feels like a big shadow on my shoulder, I wonder if others feel like this after a cancer diagnosis. Especially when all the research points to those of us with Ovarian cancer it often does return at some point. Thanks for reading
Dee
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Deesales
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Hi Dee. Im so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Have you tried talking to anyone about how you are feeling? Tried counselling? Ive found that people look at you and because you look and seem ok they forget the mental anguish a cancer diagnosis brings with it. I know I certainly felt 'abandoned' once I had finished treatment. To some degree I still feel like that, I work full time, I go about live as before, Ive survived two recurrences, and people tell me how brave I am, in fact my GP told my husband the other day he finds me amazing. Im not amazing but I dont have a choice but to carry on, partly because I have family who think I'm 'fine' and I dont want them worrying. Id strongly urge you to seek help. I had a short stint of counselling when my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I was going through a recurrence. I did find it helped. Please talk to someone and keep posting here where you will also find support. I wish you well. Sending you a big hug . Kathy xx
Hi Kathy thanks for your encouragement. I did have some counselling it did help, so I will see if I can have a few more sessions. You are so right, I often get told " you look well ' and it's hard to know how to respond.....
Like I said it's a constant shadow. Mind you the sunshine today was amazing
HI Deesales, I am sorry you are feeling down, would you consider ringing Ruth the Ovacome Nurse and she might be able to help direct you to where you can have counselling again. Its not easy, the fear is always with us so dont feel so alone, Yes our friends tend to sweep it all under the carpet when treatment is finished, But for us patients, its not over by any means. Any ache or pain, the first thing which springs to mind is OC again, Perhaps another suggestion is to see your gp, in between hospital appointments, I am assuming you are on 6 monthly check ups? Be kind to your self, your body has been through a lot, dont expect to be like you were before, because the energy does dissapear, I hope my answer gives you some comfort,
This is very often the case with all of us. Try not to let it dominate your thoughts, get the abdo pain investigated do not suffer in silence. Thiking of you xx Trish
I know how you feel, I think we all have our good and bad days, I am a year in remission and I am always wondering if it will come back.I went to a few support groups and it did help,haven't done councelling yet,but it's always an option,are there any support groups near you?
I find keeping busy helps, it's when I'm not I tend to brood,getting out in this glorious sunshine and looking forward to Summer, perhaps a holiday would be good for you.
I said to someone else the other day, I don't think any of us will ever be the same, OC leaves a huge mental scar and yes, I am surrounded by people who think I'm better now,bless them,if only they lived a day in our shoes!
Cancer is an unfair disease, I am going to see Simply Red at the Albert Hall tonight for the teenage Cancer trust, I just think no one deserves Cancer,but as a teenager?how fair is that?
Live for every day, we are all still here,but definately have the abdomen checked out to be on the safe side,
Thank you so much for your reply, I am going to stay with a good friend in Holland for a week which will give me a real lift, two weeks away. Keeping busy helps too. All the best Dee
The feelings and doubts you experience are shared by most of us despite whatever stage our cancel is. Life sadly will never be the same for us. Our news is awash with celebrities loosing their lives to cancer, many at a young age, which I find quite frightening.
Unfortunately we cannot rid the cancer thoughts which are constantly lurking in the back of our brains.last year after panic attacks, I took the decision to take anti depressants, something Ii had all my life opposed.However a low dosage has done the trick for me , and has been a great support. Sometimes we need a little boost and back up to help us cope and it did it for me
Thank you I will go back to GP , antidepressants have been something I have avoided too. It is getting ones head around a new way of being. I appreciate the support
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