Peritoneal cancer

[Alscut1]

My wife is going to have debunking surgery. Then chemotherapy.

What is the recovery time and what kind of help do I need when she comes home

[Sunfleury-UK]

Hi, there's what I think is a really good and comprehensive guide available to download or order here- targetovariancancer.org.uk/.... It covers the possible medical, practical and also emotional effects and consequences and I know many women who have found it really helpful as well as those closest to them. Very best wishes to you both Sx

[TinaB1]

As Claire has said, a little help does wonders.

Here is my own personal wish list. They're the things I would normally do so it helped to make me feel comfortable during my recovery when they were done for me. I didn't get all of them. Some things I just had to accept weren't going to get done. (Dusting was a bugbear but I didn't see it as important anyway given the state of mind I was in.)

Breakfast in bed at the right time.

Lots of drinks on tap (cold and hot)

A special place for medications. Easy to access with the regime written down. I found I couldn't get my head around what to take at the time and I was always forgetting to put the prescription in. Time went very fast.

Lots of clean sheets at the ready. (The district nurses visited after the op and it was nice to feel I was in a hotel!)

A daily Hoover and polish.

Regular cleaning of the bathrooms.

Lots of the favourite foods in the fridge. I had a thing for chocolate mousse and although they're not particularly nutritious, I felt spoilt and pampered.

It's a good idea to bulk cook and freeze favourite meals in advance but having chemo often changes the sense of taste so they may stay in the freezer for a while.

Some notelets, writing paper and envelopes if your wife wants to write to anyone.

A triangle pillow and a few pillow cases. I found this helpful for back support and have bought them a few times for friends and family since.

You'll probably be told what to take into hospital when the appointment comes. I found magazines useful as I had zero concentration.

Visits from supportive people.

Trips out when she feels stronger. I love nature and sitting in a nearby wood was very therapeutic. We used to have a coffee from a flask at some picnic tables a few mornings a week. Keeping spirits up amongst the turmoil is hard.

After six weeks, your wife will probably be able to drive. It's best to ask the GP first. (That's if she does drive in the first place.)

Not everyone is the same. These are just my own thoughts. We're all different but having you beside her will help a lot. I do realise that you're going through it yourself too so you may need support as well. X

[Susan3]

Great advice there,I echo all the above plus make time to sit and just be with her. It can be a lonely time and company and affection great. Wishing her a speedy recovery . My first surgery recovery was far better than expected . I walked into surgeons office 2 weeks later and he asked if he had operated on me ?! Ok he was joking but you get the picture!

Ps: I had made a big effort !

[Lyndy]

Hi...I've just had debulking surgery last Thursday and I'm pottering about at home, on my own during the day watching box sets and make my own drinks and lunch but also cuddle up with the cat and fall asleep fairly regularly too!

By the time my partner gets in I'm ready for a chat and cup of tea. I can't wait to have staples out next week and to start walking a bit more.

I think your wife will value having some nice home cooked food after hospital and chats and diversions aplenty....xx

[Lily-Anne]

I'm recovering from optimal debaulking and my husband has also been great. I found recovery a little better than my hysterectomy in terms of moving about. Hubby cooks dinner after work and does my evening injection. For me just having him ready with a cuddle is so important as I was a little tearful at first.

Chemo is the scary bit watching she doesn't become depressed by it. Emotional support really is the key.

I'm sure that just being on hand will be enough. I wish you both well

LA

[Hidden]

Good advice already.... it's individual and unpredictable and in some ways a bit like pregnancy....

I survived my first chemo on a diet of ( it seems with hindsight) watercress soup, tomato juice and cider. Second and third time around quite a lot of garlic, parsley and chilli. Fourth time around and I'm back on the cider... I think it's the bubbles....

Be adaptable ( ingredients which can be used in a range of ways, some food cooked in the freezer etc) and plan ahead (eg get pans out for her before leaving the house if she'll be needing them).

She'll probably cope a lot better than you both expect. I certainly hope so

[TinaB1 in reply to Hidden]

The pans thing is a good idea Mac. When I got this, I replaced my mixing bowls with plastic ones. I also buy small bags of sugar and flour so I'm not put off baking. I was thinking a mini kettle would be useful too. Xx

[Lost4Words in reply to TinaB1]

I bought a 'One cup' it only boils one cup of water straight into the mug/cup best and most useful 'gadget' I've bought during treatment. Holds over a ltr, so can be filled before OH leaves home and I just add coffee and place the mug under the nozzle, 30 secs and brew made. Only recommendation would be to get one that you can adjust the amount of water boiled.

L4W

[Hidden in reply to Lost4Words]

Another thing I found useful, if she likes cafetiere coffee (with a broken wrist is one of those cups with a built in cafetiere plunger.

But your post prompted me to think of the single most useful bit of kit we have now:

a .5 litre wideish necked thermos. Perfect for home made soup ( my life saver during chemo).

When I'm not using it, it doubles up for lunch to take to work (exccellent for reducing the carbs) and useful for travelling too.

[Sunfleury-UK in reply to Hidden]

Yes yes to the thermos! My partner used to make some tea and leave it with some fresh water when he left for work. It was really really lovely to know I had drinks nearby so I could start the day at my own speed. I also had some lovely friends who wanting to help, would bring delicious homemade soup which I could then heat and have ready for when I fancied it.... Little and frequent was my eating pattern! Sx

[LesleyGreengran]

Great advice from TinaB1. My partner had to work so I was left with a tray with flask of hot water and some of those nutrition bars and some plain biscuits. i could get my own lunch quite soon but needed to have stuff in the freezer - my daughter made me lots of mini lasagnas and shepherds pies. Also I just got lonely so having people come for short visits helped. I had my worst post chemo days, 3 to 5, at the weekend which made that easier though I have some friends who work at home or part-time who could pop round. That makes the day much shorter.

[Bluehen]

So nice of you to be concerned. She has what she will need most, a caring husband. I was in the hospital for 13 days which helped me since I was able to walk and do basic care for myself by the time I was able to go home. I did fine after surgery, just needed help with housework and cooking etc. It was after chemo I was not able to take care of myself. I was extremly weak and ill. Somedays I could not even get out of bed. If my family had not taken turns being there for me, I would not have eaten or gotten enough to drink or anything. I was not able to think clearly and there was no way to take care of mself or anyone else. Hugs, shoulder to lean on and someone there so she doesn't feel lonely are important also. I was so blesssed to have so many that cared for me and helped me. I was never alone. The good thing that came from this journey was I learned how loved I was. Six children and a wonderful husband and extended family were all there for me. Blessings and prayers for you and your wife.