I'm so scared - scan results today

Diagnosed March 2013 and had 3 x Carbo/Taxol then debulking surgery in June followed by another 3 Carbo/ Taxol. Debulking surgery was unable to remove 2 tumours at aorta and diaphragm due to their location. Last scan showed no growth on these 2 existing tumours but very small growth on what appears to be a new tumour. I only finished chemo in September so am terrified I will go for my scan results today and be told I need chemo again and that I'm Carbo resistant. Also have had a cough and wheezing for a few weeks, GP have me antibiotics but it's still there so am worried cancer is in my lungs now. Am just in a state of panic. Had a huge row with my husband last night cos we are both so stressed, I just feel as if cancer has taken over our lives :-(

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  • First of all I'm sending loads of love because times are rotten enough having cancer without it spilling over and causing arguments. I was horrified when I had a row with my daughter six months ago because it was so out-of-character for both of us. We tend to think having cancer we should all be perfect and have wonderful harmonious relationships but that's pie-in-the-sky. Rows are fine just as long as we make up afterwards, learn and move on. I'm sure your husband is every bit as worried as you but he might not want to worry you with that.

    No wonder you're feeling upset at the moment what with the cough and the worry that there might be a new tumour. I hope the scan goes OK today and the nurses are reassuring. Is it possible to talk to your CNS about how you feel because nobody should be dealing with all these worries on their own. I wonder when you're going to see your oncologist to talk about your scan results. Mine tends to be a week after the scan. Perhaps they could bring it forward if you explain how worried you are and how it's affecting other areas of your life.

    I wish I could say more to cheer you up but I'm sending hugs and if you lived nearby I'm sure we'd have a cuppa and even a laugh about the predicament we're in. It's good to share so hopefully just sharing here on line helps a bit.

    Let us know how you get on. We'll all be worrying for you. xxx love Annie

  • Dear P,

    I am sorry you are having a hard time, those of us with this disease can relate to what you are going through.... and of course it is understandable that the people we are closest to are the people we fall out with, as like you say your are both stressed it is traumatic, like you your husband understands this... please don't dwell too much on the row... It really is because he cares...

    You are both in my thoughts and prayers sending you my best wishes for a better outcome.... Love x G x

  • I really know how u feel. Its just so sad. Hopefully they will try new treatment.

  • Sending love and wishes that news not bad x

  • Like others, I feel that what is happening to you, happens to a lot of us. Relationships come under strain because the person who has the disease is having to cope with a new world and a different beginning. As someone once said here, we have to renegotiate our place in the world. That means that relationships sometimes change and the relationship has to be negotiated too. I know my own hubbie had some resentments about the change in my character and the loss of what we were because this disease has affected him too. However, after he'd come to terms with it all, he said that the basic reasons he fell in love with me were still there and those were the characteristics which were helping me to become the person I am now. To be honest, the way I felt about my misdiagnosis was threatening to destroy us both. We love one another and I think to be honest, we have a much more honest relationship with a depth to it I never thought possible in any coupling. It's very hard and scary and, yes, I think most people who have this rubbish illness feel what you are feeling very strongly at some point. Sometimes I wish I could cry, but crying has almost gone now. I'm sending you my love... Tina xxx

  • Just read your post, first of all I hope the scan results were positive, secondly just to send you a big hug, you sound like you are really going through it. It puts such a strain on our relationships, My husband was a rock when i was diagnosed and as i went through treatment, he was really supportive but we still had some very tense moments when we took it out on each other! Hoping for good news for you,

    love

    Jan x

  • just read your post. I am so sorry that you have all this to deal with. please don't worry about the row with your husband, he is every bit as worried as you are. I hope the news you receive isn't as bad as you fear. sending you a big hug.

  • Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way m x

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