The reluctant mother of the groom: Since the site... - OvaCare


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The reluctant mother of the groom


Since the site is a little quiet at the moment, I thought I would spice it up a little. So last week I achieved obtaining a dress and jacket to wear for my sons wedding at the end of April. I was so pleased with myself until my daughter pointed out at home that some of the beading was missing from the Jacket so I brought it back to the shop and it was replaced no problem. The lady who owns the shop is a style coach and told me gold accessories as there was a gold thread through the cloth. I went to collect the replacement jacket and her partner told me to go with silver as the details on the collar and pockets included silver, So the Sketcher lady"s head was starting to spin. As you all saw today was a lovely day so after some dog walking, I decided to go to town to attack the sales persons there. I went to Debenhams, saw nice shoes that wouldnt break an ankle but no bag to match. These were abandoned and off to the Moderne and explained what I needed. In fairness, the sales lady gave me as much help and as much patience as she could possibly muster and so now I have a silver bag with matching sandals and a reasonable heel. I think this gives the impression that I had no one to bring with me which I have but I feel I know what suits me and what doesnt, I am not sure if the Brides Mum is wearing head gear but if so, it follows that mine has to be smaller than hers, its apparently etiquette to be followed. But that is for another week.

I am thankful that on a Monday I was doing something else rather than going to see a certain gentleman in the Clinic. I hope everyone is doing as good as they can do. I wish those on treatment or starting treatment well for the next few months. I will have that appointment for review in February and see how things go. I decided last week well I will get that appointment over and next one should be in May with ct scan before hand. I will try and not have either until after this wedding. In all honesty there were times I thought I would miss my sons special day but time is creeping on and I am truely thankful to be here, As he and his bride to be live in Kilkenny, all the organisation is down there so you could say I am either missing out on the excitement or I am lucky to be away from it all. Wishing everybody well and hoping tomorrow isnt going to be another washout,

20 Replies

Hi Joan! Well done on getting your outfit sorted! Delighted to hear you're out and about and looking forward to the wedding....I'd be in the camp saying you're lucky to be escaping all the fuss of organising though! I think of you often and still check in on the site regularly enough.

Mary x

suzuki in reply to marymarcy

Hi Mary, I am sure it didnt help that I didnt dress up when going for either the dress or the shoes. Black pop socks inside ankle boots is a style killer for sure. So the deed is done or almost. I am glad I took advantage of the weather yesterday because today is a washout again. I hope you and your family are doing okay, the damp dull weather does nothing to lift our spirits

marymarcy in reply to suzuki

Yeah the socks don't do anything for any outfit in the changing room do they! We're all doing ok Joan thanks. Even if the weather isn't great isn't it so much easier to be a bit motivated even to do small tasks when it's dry! But we seem to be back to the wind and rain!

Ha ha ohh Joan,I can empathise with you regarding the search for the matching shoes.well you got them now,and you'll look stunning,thanks for the cheer up.x x

kittie in reply to annieH1

Hi Suzuki, well you are all set now , you can relax and now all you have to do is wait for the big day and don't forget to post a photo in all your finary on the big day. Kittie

suzuki in reply to kittie

Well that will be something to look forward to because not many see me in a dress haha. I am glad its done, I just went on my own because I didnt want to be dragged from shop to shop and I have discovered from a previous time that my daughters taste isnt exactly mine. My sister now feels cheated because I have a fairly neutral colour dress and jacket, She likes to do neutral but this is what I felt suited me. I will have some photos at the next patient day hopefully. Or maybe my daughter might put one up on line.

suzuki in reply to annieH1

Hi Annie, when I was in Debenhams, there was this lady going from shoe to shoe and picking them all up and humming away to herself. In the end the assistant did go over to her because I would think the constant humming was annoying. Poor woman probably lives on her own and had nothing better to do. I met a nice lady who was fitting on a lovely nude pair of shoes, and I asked was it for a wedding and she said no, I just like them. She bought them anyhow. I was afraid to bring in the dress or jacket so took a guess in the end and it worked out fine. I have a pair of comfy sandals I can change into later that evening. I warned my son to organise umberellas or get the best man to do it more like. Another dismal day today although I did pop down to the Library to exchange my books. I hope you are doing okay

Hi Suzuki. I just read your very entertaining post about the search for the mother of the groom outfit. I am glad your hard work and persistence was rewarded . Now I know who to ask about style for my 3 weddings this year the first of which is a black tie affair ! It's lovely to talk about anything other than that large elephant that occupies most of our rooms. P. S . Just one little mention of that large animal. Do you know what date patient day is in Cork this year as I have a dreadful feeling one of my weddings is going to clash with that day. Take care .


suzuki in reply to IrishMollyO

Well I wasnt exactly discerning on either occasion. I think since I got sick, I dont like to plan too much in advance so really was putting it on the long finger. But I am happy with what I got, and I wont end up in a and e with the heels, they are not too high. The colour is neutral something I hadnt in mind but I did have one possibility in the shop when the lady handed me the dress and then the jacket. It did look well on. When I need a dress for a wedding or whatever, I know what kind of style hides the tummy. John Rocca is good for that and I have got some bargains in Debenhams at this time of year. I got a dress in M and S for a family wedding in the summer. I had an xmas wedding after Xmas during that dreadful storm and I wore one of my bargains. No one knew the difference and it didnt wrinkle up either. If you are looking for something, check the material and crunch it in your hands that gives an idea of how the material will last for the day. I am not sure when the next patient day is, I hope its not the 30th April. I think there was talk about as near to OC DAY as possible in May. I imagine they are working behind the scenes. Perhaps we might even have a coffee morning before then you never know.

I. Doing ok Joan,started the trial drug yesterday morning,a bit nauseous yesterday evening.its a radioactive drug so I'll probably be glowing in the dark ha ha,I can't have grapefruit or Seville orange while on it and fatty foods disrupts the absorption of the meds,I hope it works and that its passed by the Irish committee on drugs as it could mean an extra treatment for braca and border braca women.

The fantastic thing about neutral is you can dress it up or down and it still looks classy.I think probably closer to the day you'll be getting a call from your son needing help with something or other and thus the joys will begin ha ha .xx

daisies in reply to annieH1

Hi Girl. Delighted to hear that you have started the trial you know the name of it!!!!, as my OUCH biopsy will hopefully open up the possibility for a trial also: can only hope.

I know that grapefruit does not agree with chemo drugs, and I also heard pineapple as well.....I can live without them though.


Aww Suzuki I loved reading your post . My daughter is getting married this year in Sept and I too have recently thought maybe I won't get there. I have started 3rd line yesterday after a kidney infection and needing a stent as my start to 2016. I try to be involved as much as I can with the wedding planning but it can be tiring. Never heard of the hat etiquette before but as mother of the bride with no hair ( as it will go with this treatment) guess that's the least of my concerns .

Any enjoy the happy day hope it a great day for all.

Best wishes Kris xx

Hi Joan. Delighted you got sorted with your outfit. There's only so much rain that can fall so I really hope it's a dry funny day for ye in April! I also remember a suggestion of holding the next patient day on or close to world ovarian cancer day. stay well. x

suzuki in reply to Missfitz

Hi Missfitz, I suppose I was looking for a few months but I never plan too far ahead for the past few years. So made up my mind to get it sorted so I am happy enough with what I got. I hope the weather will be better in April, I warned my son to source some Golf umberellas just in case and that has been done, I am back to the prof for a review in Feb, I cant find my apt but as usual will ring them up to confirm. I think its Monday week. Yes I remember us talking about having the patient day near the 8th of May. We may well have a coffee morning before then you never know. I hope this treatment is going okay for you and that you have minimal side effects, You are often in my thoughts

Lovely to hear others have impending weddings,love to hear all your plans.My daughters wedding was postponed from last summer to this June because of me.She is getting married on a beach in Turkey and I am relieved to be there.

I too have my dress and shoes and they are nude coloured.I hope you have a special time and look forward to hearing how it goes

Carole xx

Joan, I know the rain can be a real downer and when we go out, we all want our feet to remain dry. I usually wear a pair of big, black, waterproof booties (like ladies builders shoes). but I am dry.

i have no doubt you will look fab and you will match the B's mother. Mind you, I never knew that the grooms mother's hat/hair piece had to be smaller that the brides mother. Crazy!!!

Hope all ok with you and that your good health continues. Talk soon.

Daisies / Maureen.

I am in my flat ankle boots but there is nothing wrong with the wellie type boots either, I feel I will be investing soon if I see any more rain and wellies for the dogs as well. Having said that, my dogs are a bunch of sooners, ie sooner lie on the sofa than get wet. I have a grand jacket I bought in Aldi, its warm and rain proof. I read that about the hair pieces somewhere not that Aileens mother is quite casual so she may not wear a head piece. I will have to get that information. I hope you are doing okay at the moment. Well I have put the Feb appointment for review to sleep for the moment, I imagine he will go on clinical assessment then and make appointment for scan in the coming months. I got the invoice for last treatment and scan, the charges are outrageous almost 1000 euro for a few hours in a public hospital. I do have more energy and the mornings arent as bad as they were while on Avastin as in I can move around now first thing. So enjoying it while I have it. I wish you well and hope that there is a coffee morning soon where we can all catch up. Best wishes Joan

annieH1 in reply to suzuki

Still laughing at the "sooner" description ha ha xxx

suzuki in reply to annieH1

That description comes from my husband, possibly an army term a bunch of sooners I dont know really.

Hi Daisies,the drug is Olaparib,8 tablets twice a day.the more trials we can get the better.x x

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