Secondaries.

[fredsonic]

Appointment with my consultant at the hospital in Newcastle yesterday. Results of bone & CT scans. Tumours have appeared in my left shoulder, spine & several places in my Liver. I had a bit of warning about the Liver, but the bone was out of the blue. Explains the shoulder/back pain at least. Consultant was alarmed that all this has happened in the two months since my Gastrectomy. I was allergic to ECX chemo - it gave me Angina before surgery & had to be stoppd during my first cycle. The disease has probably spread via blood but we'll never know. I meet with my Oncologist again on the 21st to discuss next steps. Probably Radiotherapy & a diffent type of Chemo. Prognosis between a few months to a year at best. Got to tell my nine year old son tomorrow. Is now a good time to say shit?

[Demon]

Fred

I am sorry to hear of you news; it is so stressful on you and your loved ones. Only you and your wife will know how and when to tell your son. Children pick up on all the emotions around them and can sense things are not right, it may be an idea to ask your son what he thinks is going on and take it from there. If it were me I would write him a letter for the future, and also do a video to explain how hard I have fought to still be with him. In that message I but would tell him how proud I am of him and the dreams I have for his future, and that he should never blame himself for what has happened.

You have been through so much and have fought hard against this evil illness. There are so many things that are out of our control; even so there are still things you can control, such as spending as much quality time with your family as you can and making sure you get all the support on offer from our health service. I hope your oncologist can come up with a treatment plan, remember you stay in control of any treatment that may be offered so make sure you ask as many questions as you need as your wellbeing is all that matters now.

I wish I could be of more help,

Keep strong,

Steve

[fredsonic]

Steve, you have been fabulous. I read your book as you know. That has already made me thing of things I need to do. Lots of really helpful stuff in there in down to earth terms. I was especially touched by the details of your relationship with your Father-in-law. The conversation with my son was done in our bed this morning. After a cuddle & a good cry, he said "right let's get the Christmas decoraions out we can't lie like this all day." He & my wife are fabulous. Oh, & he wants to go to Disneyland in Florida!

[christinehulmes in reply to fredsonic]

What can i say except that you have a wonderfull family who will be there for you. So very sorry to hear your dreadfull news. Remember that we are here for you.

[Hidden]

Dear Fred

It's a rotten thing to have to face and to come to terms with. You have to get it reasonably straight in your own mind before you can tell anybody else. But being able to take the right opportunities and get it over with is much better than worrying too much about whether the right words will come.

Better than the hushed tones!

And all these things to do in life before it's too late!

God bless

Alan

[SteveJ]

Dear Fred

I really dont know what to say after reading your blog.The only thing I can say is that you will be in my thoughts. And everyone else who uses this site.

Take Care.

Stevej

[Bernadette]

Dear Fred,

I am so sorry to read your news, I am thinking of you and hoping you will find the strength to tell your son, that is going to be hard. I think you are quite entitled to say shit...and alot more besides.

God Bless

Bernadette

[maria2011]

Dear Fred,

So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and sending big hugs to you and your family xxx

Maria

[abreynolds]

a BIG Manly Hug for you Tony

[juliamac]

Dear Fred

What a brave man you are and a wonderful Dad.

Thank you for your post.

Julia

[Demon]

Fred

I trust the Christams decorations went up well, your son's attitude to have a cry and then do something positive is a credit to you and your wife, you must be so proud of him.

Steve

[fredsonic]

Thank you all for the positive comments. Went to see Arthur Christmas at the Cinema this afternoon. Life goes on & all that. Christmas is still coming.

[cherrybailey]

Fred I am upset and sorry to get on here and read your message from yesterday.

I have struggled to write brief, say all I want to you,

Hope my two little phrases speak volumes.

"How the hell does anyone deal with hearing that news" "You and your family are amazing" Your lad a "chip off the old block" (Slang) Just like his Dad! (Mum)

[ColinT]

Fred, really sorry to hear all of the news and all of the above comments are so true, my very best to you as I may be in the same position soon. I have just been told that I have more tumors and in the same place as before. I do get some pains in other places and your story has touched me and my family so much. I am so glad this site exists as we can be there for each other. You get the most out of your life by sharing it and we are all rooting for you mate. Enjoy what you can when you can and hang in there.

Colin