Has anyone else had this? I fear I will not be able to answer a student's question, wil not remember what to do next or will not have any ideas about what to do or say next in the lesson. Causes major anxiety and panic. Being watched by 32 children whilst having a panic attack is terrifying. Agoraphobic tendencies now.
Teacher with fear of going blank during lesson... - OCD Support
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Teacher with fear of going blank during lesson leading to panic attacks which actually make me forget what I am going to say.
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hi amanda
I have found mindfulness meditation a great help for severe anxiety. There are usually courses run locally attended by about 10 people
Regards Pamdave
Thank you for the advice.
Mrs_StarVolunteer
Hi Amanda,
Have you spoken with your GP at all? They should be able to offer you advice and support, perhaps a referral to a cognitive-behavioural therapist who can work with you to begin to challenge your fears.
Best wishes,
Mrs Star
in reply to Mrs_Star
Yes thank you. I have seen my GP and am taking Prozac to try to control the OCD as well as private REBT therapy, I am on a waiting list for an OCD CBT specialist and have read Claire Weekes' books on panic attacks. Have had Hypnotherapy too. I think the Prozac that I have been on for just over two weeks is beginning to work as I am starting to feel better and I have been applying many of the REBT strategies but the philosophical approach does not get to the heart of my OCD. I was just tring to see if anyone else out there had had performance/speaking in public related OCD, I cannot find things online from other teachers or people that have to perform in front of large groups of people - agrophobic tendencies etc.
Hi Amanda
I have a very similar problem to you. I work in a factory and about two years ago I was in a meeting and when it came to my time to talk, I got about half way through and then I started shaking, my lips began shaking and I became unable to talk, my mind went blank. I felt very frightened and also ashamed as I thought everyone else in the meeting would think I was weak.This sort of thing had never happened to me before but after this I became very frightened of talking in meetings and this in turn led to more panic attacks. It then started to spread to other areas of my life and I was very stressed and anxious about leaving the house. I feared that people would try to talk to me and I would have a panic attack. This thought was very dominant and on bad days seemed to be the only thing I thought about. This led to becoming very stressed and depressed. I even had a panic attack in Macdonalds trying to buy a burger as the problem became so bad.
I went to see a doctor and was put on Citalapram and Propanalol which helped. I also began seeing a pychotherapist and an NHS counsillor. Both helped me to see and understand the problem so I could work on it.
Both the medication and counselling have helped and I am now doing nearly all the things I used to. I still have bad days but at my worst everyday was a bad day
I now attend meetings and contribute and talk to people I became scared to talk too. I still become anxious and sweaty but I manage it and try to reward myself mentally that I can do it. Even if I feel I'm having a bad day and feel really anxious I refuse to let it win and make sure everything I need to do I do and not be scared away from it.
The biggest problem I have is the continued 'thought process' that thinks I'm going to panic which has become OCD. I look forward to the day when I dont start everyday thinking I feel anxious or that something bads going to happen, or I'm constantly aware of my bodily sensations, such as hot flushes and sweating and blurring of vision which I automatically put down to the onset of panic when in most cases probably isnt.
I am back to see my doctor at the end of November so I will see what will become of that.
I also tried online to see if others had the same problem but could never find anything. At one point I thought I was going mad. So finding your story really hit a cord for me and made me want to respond to you as I remember how bad I felt.
Hope the drugs and counselling help and one day people like you and I will be able to go about our lives without these dreadful thoughts controlling us
in reply to Gillsfan11
Thank you so much for your reply. it is so hard to find anyone who is going through this online. I am off work at the moment because there is no part of my job that involves not speaking in front a large group of people but I am seeing a senior mental health nurse this week who is putting a treatment plan together for me. OCD and panic attacks are so very frightening, particularly when you become hyper aware of your mind and body functions. Your story makes me feel positive about getting better. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my question.
Hi
If you ever want to talk about anything then feel free to drop me a message. No matter how silly it might seem to you. I hope you got on well with the senior mental health nurse 
The mind and body functions were always the worst for me, I was so hyper sensitive and considered every feeling to be the onset of panic or anxiety leaving me to feel constantly on edge.
I found even though I tried to reason with myself I couldn't. It was only when the medication started working that I found the counselling started to work as well, as my brain seemed to become more responsive to understanding what was going on.
I still have the body sensations but I tell my self there is nothing to worry about and remind myself that i can deal with this. I hope that as I achieve more that my brain will eventually give up worrying and move onto concentrating about something else. It does seem that they dont feel as strong and controlling now.
in reply to Gillsfan11
Thank you so much. I have been taking my medication for 5 weeks now and I think it may well be starting to work. Still waiting for CBT though, but the nurse is seeing me every week until I can see a CBT specialist. What you have said really makes sense. Thank you. Things seem less intense but yes I keep waiting for it all to hit me double strength again. I am constantly on edge but at least feeling a little more like myself.
Hi Amanda, have you thought about putting together some coping strategies for any of the situations that may arise. for example: If a student asks a question make it your classroom policy to 'come back to any questions later on'. You are in charge - remember. Also do you feel able to go back to your doctor and ask to be put at the top of the waiting list for therapy? CBT should be able to help you a bit with your problems. Best, Lucy
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