Hi guys. I was bullied in my high school years. I had a bad classroom with lots of bad people and unfortunately I was one of those geeks that got bullied and pranked. Fast forward 15 years and now in my 30s I started obssesing about that period and ruminating a lot which makes me very anxious and depressed. I can't stop thinking about that period and it makes me feel helpless and miserable. Bad memories come back and amplify a lot in my brain. Because I had problems in my 20s with OCD and was under treatment for it a lot of time, my doctor says this it's still an OCD thing. He says it's not related to PTSD or something else. Could OCD also be about past life events? Is this an OCD thing? What do you think?
Obsessed about bad past life events. Is this still ... - OCD-UK
There could be an element of PTSD there, and of course trauma, though it doesn't cause OCD, can no doubt make it worse. So getting help for PTSD could help.
I too know what it's like to be bullied, having been badly bullied at primary school and in the first year of secondary school. Then I learned to stand up for myself. It can certainly leave you with bad memories.
But think of it another way. Those people who bullied you may have grown up into decent adults who regret what they have done. On the other hand they may be miserable failures. In either case, you've won.
Bullies go for the weakest, most obvious target. That isn't to blame the victim, but it is to acknowledge that you don't have to put up with being bullied. The scars will still be there, but reflect on the lessons you have learnt and remember that you can stand up to people who try to bully you.
That's the lesson I learnt. Once I learned to stand up for myself, I became more assertive, the bullies went, and I made friends. So don't obsess about having been a victim, and recognize that it's taught you some valuable lessons.
Hi there, this kind of came up in a thread the other day, because I experienced a traumatic event that definitely informs the content of my OCD rumination, although the OCD starting before. I think that OCD can attach to anything.
I work in schools specifically with students who have been excluded from mainstream and suffer from social, emotional and mental health difficulties. I think that bullying is a terrible experience and horrible for people' s self esteem. The worst thing is when they feel in some way it is their fault or down to something about them. It is NOT. It is all about the perpetrator and their stuff and is NOT a reflection of any inadequacies on the other person's part. I just hope you know that. You sound like a good person from the e mail and you deserve to feel happy and secure in yourself and know your own worth.
Back to your original question - my OCD often attaches itself to life events. This makes it more confusing and feel more 'real'. I can also be triggered into a bad OCD episode by certain things relating to my trauma. I don't think that mental health/mental wellbeing issues stay in neat boxes - I reckon they blend and blur! Anyway - sending support your way and a virtual hug (*)
Thank you for your kind wors. Sounds like to some extent we're in the same boat. I defnitely think past trauma makes OCD worse and OCD make past trauma worse the other way. I'm sorry to hear that you also struggle with these issues and wish we get better and better.
I agree that it isn't the fault of the victim that they were bullied. I hope my post didn't imply anything else. But bullies can be beaten by standing up to them.
I also agree that bullies need to be tackled wherever they are, in school, in the workplace etc. But it is also important to make sure that people learn to stand up for themselves and are taught to value themselves above the estimation of bullies. In other words, not to be an easy prey and to know their own worth.
Bullies are usually inadequate people who attempt to cover up their own shortcomings by taking it out on other people. So make sure you remember that when you remember what they did to you. I still have flashbacks of the gang of boys who used to beat me up every break, and remember how I used to sit down on the ground as they charged towards me so they didn't actually knock me down, then being kicked and punched as I lay on the ground. They continued doing this until the principal of the school found out and put a stop to it. But there was other continual bullying and many incidents I could tell of. Not to mention a bullying father who drank!
The point I'm trying to make it that the bullies don't have to win. I'm sure that Cello is right, and that our mental issues aren't kept tidy in neat boxes. But deal with each one and it should have a knock on effect with the others.
And it might even help with standing up to the bully that is OCD!
Hello, Sallyskins. I am so, so sorry reading about your childhood bullying experiences. It is impossible to imagine how humans can be so cruel to each other. You are a wonderful support to so many members of this OCD site and this speaks volumes about your kindness and goodness as a person. Let's all of us, this very day, make a point of reaching out in kindness to at least one other person in our own families and communities. Sheila
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