I'm scared that my disturbing/horrible thoughts are me. Im scared i actually would act on my harm ocd thoughts. Im scared i secretly enjoy these thoughts, and it drives me crazy. I feel like im losing it
Am i my thoughts?: I'm scared that my disturbing... - OCD Support
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Am i my thoughts?
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Lindsey14
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I no the feeling I have it regularly doesn’t make u a bad person my mind sometimes lives in dark places with horrible thoughts but it’s just about soldiering on through or if your really worried seek help
I've thought about this often, but I've reached the conclusion that we are not our thoughts.
In the same way that we aren't our dreams or defined by what we want.
Not even our lives define us. We are the now, the product and response to our lives but not the entire thing.
Im a little confused
We are what we choose, if we have an intrusive thought to do something bad. We don't choose to do it.
It's the same with dreams there's a bunch of stuff we do in them that we definitely wouldn't in real life.
Someone who everyone sees as good is judged primarily from the actions taken or not taken by said individual and not intentions or internal views that we don't exactly know the full story of
Since everyone has weird thoughts, some of them unpleasant, and the vast majority of people don't act on them, it would be wrong to say that they are defined by these thoughts. The only difference with people with OCD is that we hold on to them and think they mean something.
They are just random thoughts, floating about, and for most people, they float in and out. It's only OCD that makes us hang on to them and be afraid of them.
It's not called the doubting disease for nothing. It makes us doubt ourselves, whether we are good people or not, makes us interrogate ourselves about these intrusive thoughts.
But they are just thoughts. Having an intrusive thought come into your head doesn't mean you are a bad person. The standard therapy for OCD involves allowing the thoughts in rather than trying to block them, accepting them for what they are, and then ignoring them. Then they go away!
I have been feeling the exact same. something really helpful is to label the thought as unimportant and say to yourself "thats a thought" and give it no meaning or value in your mind. it's so easy to slip into thinking you may want to or enjoy it but deep down you know its not you and the thought is just a thought nothing more its not an urge or impulse , ya know ? anyways thats sort've helped me out so I hope you can take something from that (:
Hi there! Fun fact, people with OCD are actually less likely to be violent than the average person. These thoughts are scary because they are the exact opposite of who you are. Remember that OCD is ego dystonic, meaning your intrusive thoughts are not in line with your values. I have had the same fears that you have but try approaching with “What if or maybe I secretly enjoy these thoughts” and do your best to sit in the discomfort. Over time you will be able to tolerate it and rewire your brain to recognize that these thoughts are not bad but simply just thoughts. This was the approach that my therapist took with me and it worked wonders. It was very difficult at first but I promise that over times it becomes easier. Hang in there. You got this. You are not your thoughts.
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