Constant battle with ocd intrusive thoughts. - OCD-UK


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Constant battle with ocd intrusive thoughts.

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For a few years now i have been battling with my ocd intrusive thoughts, at first i thought i was going crazy and lost all control of my mind, and then with that came great anxeity as i really started to loose who i was, i didnt even know myself anymore and that to me was the scariest thing ever. One min i was enjoying life and the next that one day, and that one scary most vile thought ruined my life in seconds! Every day after that constantly for 2 years i would go over the vile thought from the second i woke up right up until i would get to sleep, my life was taken over! I googled to try and get reasurance but this never really helped. I couldnt tell anyone about what i was going through as i was scared that they would think i had done something bad, and in the end i started to think i really had done something bad, or what if o had done something and my brain had blocked it out. In the end the thoughts become to much, they seemed so real as they rushed into my head along side vivid images! So i broke down to my mum and finally got the support i needed! Never give up! Keep fighting!

7 Replies

Thank you so much for sharing this, I'm so glad you were able to reach out. You've described exactly what I've gone through and I can completely relate with the feeling of loosing who you are abs the dreaded 'what ifs...' That consume you and take over your life.

I don't know if it's relevant but a few days ago I began a Facebook page about OCD and anxiety which you are welcome to have a look at. Search The real housewife of OCD and you'll find it. Please feel free to share your story there or just have a look. I'm hoping this page will help towards removing the stigma around OCD x

Thank you so much for your reply i will be deffiantly looking at your fb bage so nice to know that there are people out there going through the same thing and we dont have to battle our ocd on our own, we cant let the ocd win! Xx

Thanks for sharing your story - a lot of us will recognize and sympathize with this. One of the many vile things about OCD is that it makes you doubt - and then makes you ruminate about it, which leads to even more doubting. And it makes you feel guilty when you've done nothing bad. At least now there is more information about OCD and more people have heard of it - I first got it quite a number of years ago and hadn't a clue what it was - my mother bought me a book and I realized that my symptoms fit the pattern of OCD. I am pleased you are getting support now. And thanks for the encouragement, too.

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This sounds exactly like how my illness began many years ago as a teen I had it in my mind something didn't look right & one day that was all I could virtually think about constantly worrying if others were judging me. In hindsight there was nothing off but in

My distorted thinking I created a fictitious ailment that didn't even exsist. It was terrifying because I couldn't stop the thoughts & didn't know why they started but once they started they have never stopped. It has been over 30 years now, with anti-anxiety meds it subsides while on them , but as soon as I'm off them the thoughts return. It's like something snapped in my psyche a silent breakdown. I've never been the same since. I keep it very well hidden & just looking @ me or talking to me you would never know I suffer from this, but it's been very depressing to the point of breaking down crying, just wanting the thoughts to stop. .

Ive literally been obsessing 24/7 attending to my thoughts while living for the past 7 years. I knew it was ocd but kept obsessing over a whole bunch of things and over analyzing people and things and life and still moving but felt like autopilot cause Ive been in another world. I wonder if this ever happened to anyone and finally Im learning what feeling in the moment is like. Im scared cause I feel like all these years were fake and makes me feel horrible.

I also feel I was living life happy. I was out in the mountains enjoying and experiencing life, then one day out of nowhere BAM! I'm crazy and cant function enough to leave my house. I hate it.

im the exact same as you right now only i dont know how to tell my mum

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