So I feel like I developed OCD when I was a teenager. It was in relation to public places, like restaurants, cafes and communal spaces, as well as public transport. All I could think about and visualise was germs everywhere, what people had touched and ‘do I now have that germ on my hands?’
I want to connect with others of similar experiences. I had CBT before I went to university so I was able to deal with the idea of sharing a space with strangers in halls. Praise the lord I had a en-suite 🙌🏻 so it was basically having to share a kitchen and having to get a bus into uni. I feel I’m a lot better with my thoughts now and can control the urges to an extent, but I still find it hard sharing spaces, washing dirty dishes and other people’s approach to cleanliness.
So I’m trying this way of talking to others without judgement to see if it helps. People think you can have therapy a little while and then you can deal with it, but it’s not like that, it just takes one day to wake up and almost like relapse back into the old habits. I find I barely leave my room cause I can’t face looking at my family’s dirty dishes or questioning if my fork is really clean.
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Moonlover
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Hi thank you for posting, my daughters contamination fears aren’t about germs, it is literally snot and bogiesnor anyone touching their nose. She can touch, itch sniff, sneeze herself but anyone else does it she literally has a break down. I am just worried for her and have been trying to help but sometimes it is like she wants me there just so that the ocd can pick at me like mum you know you just touched your chin did you brush your nose, I’ll reply no / are you sure mum because you prob didn’t realise then I’ll say no again and go to move and it will be ohhhhhhh noooo, what grace? You just licked your lip, your tongue probably touched your nose!!! No it didn’t and it goes on like that . I know it is not her but she gets up sits on the sofa, watches tv, goes on phone, has a huge mess around her that I’m not allowed to touch even with bits of food and empty stuff
There which I am sure she can take out to the kitchen even if input it in the bin but she just gets extremely stressed like I’m asking her to do
Something major/ it’s hard to know where the ocd and I’m a teenager starts if you
Know what I mean?
Many thanks for sharing your story, I know what a bully ocd is and you are doing great to fight this bully. That s what it is it lies and deceives and prays on the things you love - for my daughter it is stripping her of being close to her friends and family and enjoying life and exacbberates her fears of bogies and snot!!! It’s the worse as it isn’t the things ocd tells you to fear will
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Me and my OCD
Please read my story
My life with OCD