Does anyone else feel like guilty about something in your past and now have so many triggers from it that you actually feel the same guilt like you did it again ? I feel like no one can understand this .. I also constantly think what if I did something so messed up no one I love will for give me , and I go over my days In my head to confirm details of where I was what I was doing everyday to be positive I’m a good person 
and it’s a questioning cycle
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I went through that about a childhood thing. I decided to see a therapist about it and he walked me through who I am now & I realized I deserved to live happy. Nothing good ever comes from ruminations... it only feeds illness. Have you ever picked up a workbook on dealing with anxiety? It’s a lot of work but well worth the focused time on it.
I have I just struggle with self discipline and continuing through them, then get down on myself
It is rough especially in thick of it. It helps to have shrink give u homework then talk it out. Do u see one ? I saw one years ago I went through a violent incident st my work & newly married new city none of it was going well. The shrink did what I said above. I got better fully good in 5 months. Was good for 15 yrs till I went through surgeries back to back.
Sounds like OCD as that is one of it’s traits.
Have you seen a doctor or Therapist about it yet?
I have tried but they haven’t been that helpful , I believe bc it’s been a family therapists and I still feel judged so I have an appt w someone new in two weeks . Just trying to cope :/
Good luck with your appointment and please keep us updated.
Is the thing from your past that you feel so guilty about really that bad? Most of us magnify these things in our heads, but in most cases we didn't really do anything that bad.
It isn't good to judge people by the worst thing they have done, including ourselves. Most people are neither wholly good or wholly bad, and I don't suppose you are worse that most! I've certainly done things I'm ashamed of and wish I hadn't done, and so have most people. Try not to wrack yourself with guilt about something that might really not be all that bad.
It's the OCD that is making you doubt and making your go over and over in your mind the things you might have done. It is called the doubting disease! The more you question, the more the doubts will assail you. The best remedy is to refuse to question yourself about whether you did or didn't do something. Just accept that you didn't mess up.
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