So my obsessive thought structure has led me in to the compulsive mania of trying to force fixes.
It just makes things worse. To the point I am on the thinnest sheets of ice. I am not sure I will make the week at this point.
I have therapy tomorrow and reached out to my therapist and the mental health support line last night. None of it is doing any good. Perhaps because i am undeserving of it.
I can't do this any more
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Please hang in there Lucy - sending love your way
Please, this is a distorted image of yourself. Beneath this distorted image is a good, decent, worthy person, who deserves much better.
Believe me when I say that you can get over this and feel again that you are a good, deserving person, and leave this feeling of worthlessness behind.
I've felt like you do, that I am worthless. It's a horrible feeling. I've been on the point of throwing myself in the river! It's difficult to pick yourself up and realize that you deserve much better.
Don't regret or feel guilty about the abortion. It must have felt like it was the right thing to do, and perhaps it was. At the moment not having children is distorting your memory and making you regret what you did. There are all sorts of reasons why women have abortions, and as long as it is their choice, all these reasons are valid. It's not something you should feel guilty about.
There is plenty of good in your life. Having a partner whom you love is a huge blessing. Debt is something you can get out of, however hard it may feel at the moment. It's only money, and you're worth more than money!
It could be that stopping the sertraline is causing you withdrawal symptoms, so getting back onto some sort of medication is important. Not everyone gets on with sertraline, but I've found it very good.
Please, please hold on. There must be so many people who care about you, to whom you matter, and who value you. x x x
HI Lucy
forget about being undeserving - you are having a bad spell with OCD. An d you need to think a bit more posively if you can. OCD can improve - have you tried therapy lile ACT? its differetn from CBT but somewhat related. Some people report better results.
Try not to allow the negative things inn your life get the better of you - they are manageable I think. Just try to think more piositelcy abotu what you have.
Not a terribly clever reply from me this time, but I hope it somewhat give you some impetus to be positive.
Cheers
Max .
No can do, my partner wants to end things. I can't do this alone.
You are NEVER alone! There are other people that are going through similar things that manage to pull themselves up and get on. This community is one example. Just read all of the comforting and supportive posts that people give each other. You CAN feel better. Reach out to others. We need you to stay strong 💪
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Please share a thought x
what is wrong with me?
Ocd sexual thoughts about other people
Battling intrusive thoughts and depression 
OCD confessing to partner