I watched a documentary on Netflix, Dope. The title of the episode was "America's cup of coffee" and was referring to cocaine. I am very sad to say that I need caffeine as a dope in order to be myself, the 2x75mg of Clomipramine and 2x75mg of pregabalin leave me as a zombie of drowsiness...
And of course then come the side effects, terrible nightmares, anxiety, some paranoia, irritability...
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I too need caffeine! It's my only recreational drug, and I rely on coffee in the mornings to make me feel like me. And then tea to keep me going.
I felt really dopey and drowsy on clomipramine, but it's a good and effective medication that kept me relatively sane for many years. I didn't have the other side effects you mention. Any thoughts on switching to another medication, like sertraline or another SSRI?
It's the best of the best for OCD - Anxiety - Panic Disorder trio
I was addicted to caffein (not America's one..I mean literally coffee) and it made my OCD much worse. I was so tired all the time for multiple reasons, I was using Monster Zero energy drinks and coffee and Coke Zero. I got rid of them all and bought some expensive matcha powder from my local Chinese supermarket. Not for ANY other reason than I like the taste of the Starbucks matcha soy latte (what a hipster!). I went home and made myself one with my own soy and stevia (it has a vanilla flavour) and wow...I was buzzing all day from one cup, awake until much long er than usual and much more able to focus. I didn't have the same amount of anxiety or OCD. I googled it then to find out why and read all the stuff. I'm not a faddy person so wouldn't have bothered if I didn't like the taste! It's legal, I find it delicious and it gives me a much smoother, more activating uplift than coffee. I haven't had any coffee for 5 days now. I realise matcha has caffein in it, but I think the other ingredients sooth out the jittery vibe. Worth a try maybe if you like green stuff??? :))
The other thing, which I realise won't be everyone's cup of tea (ha ha) is a 6am walk with the dog. I started doing it (resentfully) for her, but it was one of the best decisions I made. I walked for an hour around our local lake. I felt like a different person at the end of it, all due to natural endorphins. I can't today as there is a thunder storm and the dog doesn't like getting wet, but that combined with matcha make me feel amazing! I was just teetering above the black hole when I started and can honestly say it pulled me right up out of the vortex.
PS I have terrible nightmares, but didn't associate with the coffee, more the OCD/trauma...is it the coffee?? I'm still having them, but sleeping more deeply and my daytimes are way better on the matcha. I don't have any other medication as cannot take SSRIs and pregabalin made me feel really really dark, so I am reliant on other strategies...which is sometimes really hard because I just want to take the edge off! Anyway enough me, me, me...blame it on the match....best of luck!
I haven't heard of matcha. But then I ask for a 'coffee' the rare occasions I'm in a coffee shop! Don't ask me what a flat white is! But it sounds worth giving a go.
I agree about the exercise, though having OCD means I often retrace my steps back and forth. So that makes going anywhere a bit difficult. Embarrassing as well. But I've found that forcing myself out can make me feel better. I can't afford a dog at the moment, though I'd love to have another one, but perhaps a 6 am walk would be a good start to the day. After I've taken fifteen minutes just to get past the front door!
I'm really pleased you've found some alternatives to the meds. Apart from anything else, a dog is a wonderful companion and they don't mind if you have OCD!
That’s such a good point about the retracing. I wonder if you can agree with yourself to go a short way without any retracing and broaden the circle very gradually? A little more each time? I wish I could lend you my puppy! I can’t keep up with her energy levels! Matcha is the green tea powder xx
I do already do that, and mostly manage short trips. I can imagine that maybe an energetic dog would take my mind off the retracing!
I shall certainly check out the matcha. I limit my coffee to just 2 cups a day, but have lots of tea.
Endorphine is a big hack as well and it is suitable for all the mental illnesses, it combines perfectly with caffeine (caffeine gives you the fuel to the gym) so I will enrol again after two years to my local gym (I had stopped because I relocated to London from Athens)
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obsessions out of control can anyone help
i cant stop thinking about my boyfriend leaving me
Help for my son
Questioning my actions 
Letter to my GP