i cant stop thinking about my boyfriend leaving me

He gets the bus every morning and has told me about a woman he talks to, one day the bus did not come so i went to pick him up and this woman was with him for a lift to work, i had to drive them both to work all the time imagining her was having an affair with her, since then i cant stop thinking about him leaving me and cant stop crying , i am struggling with the fact that i will never know the answer to the question does he really love me still? he says he does but my OCD annoys him and he dosen't understand i cant just rid myself of this fear , its going round in my head every second of the day. My self asteem is pants as i cant work as i have panic attacks ,i do an hour a day at a school and i feel a failuire to him.

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  • You are not a failure to him but more so not to your self.

    Now here is the harsh part and do not think o am being nasty as I am a real bad sufferer.

    Try Ask you self so what to every possible question

    Like this

    So what if my partner leaves

    Answer I will be sad

    Q so what if I'm sad

    A I will feel like crap

    The more and deeper you get cod will have room to move, you can be strong and others without ocd don't understand the torment does not mean they dont care

    Deep down you are a winner

  • Hi its me again still feeling absolutely shit! , I now don't think hes having an affair BUT that he might one day , I am thinking that I cant see into the future so how will I really know if he will or not?? I don't know what I should be thinking to stop the thoughts?? I have a constant butterflies in my tummy which really annoys me , I am speaking to my doctor by phone next Tuesday I really think I need to see someone for this its too much for me .

  • When do you start thinking of these thoughts?

    what is the worst fear/outcome of it all for you? E.g being alone?

    we like to feel in control! Accept when it comes to another human being, the simple fact is, we can't.

    we can learn to control put fears/anxieties though...by facing them head on.

    dont allow a thought to consume you. Laugh at it. Physically out loud if you need to. Stand up and picture yourself walking away from it.

    think to yourself, how long have i been thinking these things? And have any of them actually happened at any point. X

  • OCD has different levels of severitiy but you need to try and distract yourself and get your brain to operate the way you need it to.

    Okay that's obvious but if it's written down and read you may think about it.

    You need a distraction now I dont know but what about doing something special on a set day of the week with your boyfriend.

    The set day will work as a new trend in your brain as it is reocurring but when you feel your bad thoughts kicking in, you can recall these routinised memories.

    It will also be something to look forward to.

    When your feeling sad ," oh tonight we are doing... Together"

    Im not a doctor or anything, im just giving an idea because I know distraction help me.

    It's hard to work out a solution on here but try to think positive things and stay busy.

    For example if the time of concern is in the morning, have a task you need to perform at that time. Hobbies, work, housework etc.

    But something you can do everyday.

    I think you need to stop the loop in order to help i.e wake up, go down stairs, say goodbye, ocd.

    OCD can become a task just like brushing your teeth.

  • Thankyou so much for careing , the problem went away for a week or two we not away but less intrusive , but has now returned , I am seeing the doctor on Thursday and will tell her I need help with this , yesterday was pretty bad and we had a big row about it ;0( but then we made up and I belive he loves me now , but I know the doubt will come creeping back . I will try and write it down sop I can look at it and remember how I felt.

  • It Will Return!! It Will Return My Friend, You Have to Digest This fact That it Will Stay With You Forever, Be Prepared For it!!

    But Wait a Minute, I'm Not Talking about OCD IM Talking about Anxiety In General

    Try To Involve & Dissolve your mind in something Else,

    Take your Medications, Exercise Helps a Lot, CBT Works Wonder.

    You Still Will feel The Sting of the Pain but you Have to Accept it as it Comes,

    And Most Importantly Don't Try to Do Things For a Reason, Do Things as they come & See things as They are

    And Most Importantly Don't Try to Stop Your Thoughts

    Also, ​ There is a Drug Which I​ used a lot For my Symptoms

    You can Try it IF you want to, Name is Tramadol

  • It would be a good idea to get some CBT. You could end up driving him into this woman's arms if you dont

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