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well another day another wonder

ok today I am feeling a bit ,,welll mm not really sure ..I am in pain in my neck hands right leg hurts and is numb and lower back is burning making it hard to walk, so not driving either as it only leg i use when driving . face is numb and fingers tingling as so my feet .

I have had pain for over 40 years . just got worse and added places . And it all that time the only way I have coped is to make my self feel better is to take care of my hair look after my appearance (well apart from my weight but can not excerses) when on the odd time i go out . May it be once a week, /month or when i can get the energy . But I feel better knowing i have put on my best face and my best laugh through the pain and pretend that I am just the same as everyone else even if it for an hour or a eve or very rarly a whole day . I am usually sitting down I take pain killers with me I stop walking when in pain. It is what I have done for those 40 years .It has been my life ,i dont know any other . I love meeting people and enjoying my self when i can .But when down or unhappy I stay home i do not put myself on others ,dont want them to see me like that and I dont want ot see them .

My "friend" has decided with some of her friends that I can not be that ill. I can not be in pain as when they see me am bubbly and laughing . " They seem to forget that may not see me more than once a month . She did not know me when i had cancer , she did not know me when i had both PEs and nearly died ..twice and the chest infections that have now weakened my lungs and make me feel like rubbish more than ever .more tired and more well yuk.. But had to smile when she was moaning about her depression as "no one can see it and dont understand " ...........

2 Replies

Pam i have heard that story as well from a friend of mine on here. She was having trouble with her friends who didn't believe she was ill. What do these people think we do go around with an ascloth and do nothing but moan. We are people with feelings and we do try to be cheerful despite our illnesses. I have been down the hospital this morning and when i got back i too was feeling cranky with the pain,so hubby was going down the allotment so i got him to drop me off in the village as he had my scooter still in the car. I saw people who spoke to me and made comments about my hair and nails, ( i have them different colours to cheer me up) so in theory if they have spoken to me it means i have to react to them. I have come home now i am still feeling sorry for myself and i am still in pain,but for an hour i have been able to try and forget it all for a while. The sun was shining as well so that helps.

You are one brave lady and tell them sceptics to go to hell. Love sylvi.xx


here here and tell it as it is, no shame in that, if you don't tell them they willnever know. The Sun has come for the Olympic's then.... long live healthy active painfree RA free constestants.


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