Absolute Snobbery!: Some members of my family received... - NRAS

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Absolute Snobbery!

Andrea_Shapiro profile image
14 Replies

Some members of my family received invitations this week for a family wedding, from a relative who said that I had a "cheap wedding", called it a 'working class wedding'. I wasn't invited. They came to my wedding reception, possibly because it was in a pub, and had a buffet. Never even bought me a card. My mother has received an invitation for theirs in Thornton Hall. Now! Everyone in my family speaks more eloquently than me, but I'm more Scouse, though grammatically better!

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Andrea_Shapiro profile image
Andrea_Shapiro
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14 Replies

Well I had a really selfish wedding to my lovely husband. I was too mean to pay for my dysfunctional family members to come to one in England etc so we went to mauritius. Just me, my love, my two boys and my mum. I still dont regret it. A holiday of a lifetime.Are your family ( the snobby ones) related to Hyacinth Bouquet by any chance????

fiona x

people have what they can afford and also what they want for a wedding!

, I think a pub sounds great.. im from a "working class type" background as my father was a farm worker!! and we lived in a tied farm cottage.

I have lots of friends but one of my best friends who earns ££££3=? getting married to an even more wealthy guy from a very well to do background had a "society" wedding in june (reception was in Ascot!) and I was Invited because she was my friend.. it was fab and lavish ,the most lavish im ever likely to attend. but so perfect. at that time i was working 9-1 only had crawled back to work after diagnosis and two unsuccesful damrds or it might have been 9-2 by then im not sure any way hours down on my original contract 9-530. my friend knew I was broke and said no present just want you to come!!, the wedding list was John lewis! or also chance to contribute to fab wedding photos on line.. I spent what I could afford which I decided to contribute to the photos. it was the nicest wedding i went to because the guests were so nice I had meet a lot of the girlies and a lovely hen party down were my friend lived swindon way,, she moved there for / through work and met her husband speed dating

Judi profile image
Judi

Sounds like she (assuming they are a woman) is the type of person who brags about a dress (etc.) being 'designer'. This type of person doesn't impress me much, dont know about anyone else. If she needs to make a comment about your wedding being 'working class' can't understand why she lowered herself to go to yours. People who are born into money usually dont throw it into the face of people who were not. They dont need to. They don't even need to take out a mortgage to buy a house, they use family money!

(Incidentally, my husband and I were married 40 years ago in a registry office and then had our 'party' in a pub in the evening) - you can't get more working class than that!

Philip profile image
Philip

Hi Andrea

Why not leave an open invite on Facebook lol to their reception, get your own back lol

Philip profile image
Philip

We had a church wedding only because my wife is an only daughter and my lovely mum on law (R I P)said that's what we are having lol. It was all on a show string, so much so that all the people involved ie the vicar,hotel management , car driver the lot were all stand ins but the day was the most beautiful day you could imagine. But we had family that didn't get on and my wife said sod em and put them on the same table, they are now friends again.

I think maybe you will have a better time not going all the stress and worry, take you and yours for a great day out, I'm sure you won't regret it, your family is the most important have fun

sylvi profile image
sylvi

Your a better person than them, hold your head high and let them get on with it. What goes around comes around, i'm sure their marriage won't last like yours will. Remember god doesn't pay his debts in money. Lokk at your hubby and think tha i've got the better deal. sylvi.x

Hi Andrea.

Well would you really want to got to the wedding of such a person anyway; sounds like it's all for show, and frankly she does not sound very nice either.

We've been to several weddings where so much money has been spent but it's been really unemotional.

My husband and I got married in a church with only my parents, inlaws, and remaining grandparents (one on each side) the vicor said it was the nicest ceromany he had conducted and when we came out the bells played even though we had not ordered, or paid, for them! A gift from the church for being sincere apperently.

James even came with me to choose my dress (reduced in Monsoon!) everyone said but your best friend is meant to come with you; well he did.

Now my honeymoon was a weekend in yorkshire and by the time we got their everywhere was shut so the food on the night of our weding day came from the local petrol station and we ate it in a park in the snow; and I enjoyed every single second of it :)

I know we may have upset some people but it's what we wanted, our true friends understood and we saved a load of money which went on a deposit for our house.

Anyway better do some work while baby is asleep!

Mel

juliep profile image
juliep

It doesnt actually matter how much you spend on a wedding because its a day. its the rest of the marriage that matters. obviously this family member is just trying to impress people and not value what the day is all about. Better off not going in my opinion as it sounds as dull as dishwater. x

teekay profile image
teekay

Hi , i like the one about an open invite on face book. How about sending an exceptance card...see how they sort that out!!

Thing is your too good for them, lets hope it rains lol

we all think the same lol face book sounds a laugh im on there but my account is locked down!! friends only ! and I Have no man to get married to.. been there done that! and mine was nice but not grand im divorced now so completely irrevelant.. maybe your marriage will last longer than your stuck up relation any way xx

Hi Andrea, don't let them get to you, at the end of the day no matter how much you spend on a wedding the end result is the same,your MARRIED!! and have the same piece of paper to prove it. Let them get on with it as Mel said would you really want to go with an attitude like that. Your worth better, take care.

Mandy xx

Gina_K profile image
Gina_K

Nasty people to make remarks like that, everyone has the wedding that suits them at that moment in time, I often think when I see crazy lavish weddings, evrything after this will be a disappointment. I had a lovely wedding 28 years ago when I was 21, he was 25 and we are still together, we got lots of presents that we never used and laughed about, they may be still in the attic! My dear dad gave me away & my mum made the cake lots of relatives came & friends. The best fun for us was chosing the DJ! We still look at the wedding pics and laugh, we were only kids and it seemed like the thing to do!!!

Getting married & having our family was not the big decisions they seem to be these days, we just sorta woke up at 30 with 3 kids (well I did) Lol.. Its been great tho & I still adore him (most of the time) weddings pah! Class distinctions, as my mum says ' they probably come from nothing' haha!

Gia.

AMDP profile image
AMDP

Phone her up and say that everyone else has been invited so you are assuming your invite was just lost in the post. Better still show up anyway- dressed to the nines and smiling from ear to ear. Some people need to be stood up to. Ax

Andrea_Shapiro profile image
Andrea_Shapiro

Ta, everyone. I was made up getting a set of towels as a present. I got married at Liverpool register office, had a reception at The Crown pub on Lime Street (just by the train station!). I think my mum paid £300 for balloons, pork pies & chips. I know she paid £250 for my wedding dress, and £600 for honeymoon in Cambrils! My cousin has asked for money to send them on a honeymoon, when I know his father has already transferred £1500 into their account for a holiday.

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