Part of our daily struggles with our health includes battling the emotional side effects of our illnesses. None of us are the people we once were. Some of us feel weaker physically and emotionally and some of us the opposite. And all of us know what it’s like to go through the motions. We deal with judgement from others - usually individuals who have no idea what we are coping with and those who are ignorant of our daily battle. We cope with those who choose to walk out of our lives who deem us a burden- this includes close family members. We are accused of being lazy, accused of being selfish, even accused of faking it. We cope with relentless pain, exhaustion and a barrage of other illnesses. We go through each day mostly alone, depending on ourselves to muster up the courage, the energy, the determination to make the most of it, to find purpose and a sense of accomplishment. This takes immense fortitude!!!! To struggle with physical pain, the emotional pain, the loss of friends and family, the endless doctors visits, the new diagnosis, the hopeless prognosis, the confusion, the worry, the good days, the bad days and all the while working hard to contribute our very best to society and not let anyone see our pain is a feat of a warrior.
I write this as a reminder that few places like this exist. A place where we can find others who understand, who validate our feelings, who are compassionate and want to listen. A place where we don’t call names or make personal evaluations of others lives and situations- a place that is a safe haven. A place where we can express our inner feelings and be understood. We should never be afraid to post about our depressed emotions or of our struggle to stay motivated in fear of being called names or have accusations hurled at us.
We work hard everyday to be strong but we can’t always be strong. That is why we come here. To tell others we are feeling weak, others who might feel a little stronger and know that together we can carry on. We all have the need and the right to be treated with dignity, to be treated with kindness and gentleness.
I’m grateful to have somewhere, where after a long day, a new and scary treatment, failed medications, a discouraging encounter, a frustrating doctors visit, a diagnosis of a new illness, when I feel like I’ve been sucked dry of every last drop of strength I can muster, I can come and tell you guys and you will be there for me when no one else is.
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Rheumagal
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I went all tingly inside when I read that, what a true choice of words, I agree with you wholeheartedly, I read the forum each day and learn lots , and only we know what we are going through each day and it helps so much having all you wonderful people helping each other ....
Beautifully written and expressed summation of why most of us come here. We support each other when few others know or understand how our lives can be. Thankyou
But we must still have an every day tlife away from HU.
I do agree it can be a comfort....but it’s not to be used in place of real realationships...people we can call to speak to, have a coffee with...or go to the cinema if we can sit still for that long & still walk afterwards.
We can discuss our aches & pains here to keep from burdening our loved ones..but we must keep up with the big wide world.
So true, but for some it's not possible . I am a massive advocate for talk to a stranger it's easier with a dog , but even a good morning can help . I've met some amazingly beautiful people since I started walking the dogs and surprisingly how lonely some people are 😪🌷
I agree! And I think that’s what makes this group so important. We are not totally dependent on H.U. but it is an important place to have when we need a lifeline. A safe place to go when we need a boost. ♥️
Hi Everyone! I have been looking for a place where I can let all my troubles out. I cannot forget my past and I never let anyone know my feeling for fear they might tell. This is how long this has been going on. I graduated inJune 1959. Sept. got pregnant, got married, my parents were there. My boy friend brought me home (my parents house) and never came to see his son. I saw him several times at the rink and he would ask about him. I fell in love with with someone at the rink, we dated and he would hint about marriage. Let me side track, my mother was mean, selfish and I hated her and she had a mouth on her. My friend visit me and my parents came home, I introduced him, my mother said, for sure going to loose your son if you keep running around, then she left the room. My friend left to go back to work. My brother and wife were having problems, she had her eyes on my boy friend, and ended up with him for six months until my brother found out. My brother and wife went back together. My boy friend wanted to get back and I told him no, I have regreted that I did this. I married someone who no one liked, my daughter is 44, 2 grandchildren. I’am still married to him and still think about the one I really loved. HOW DO I This OFF My Mind! I’am 78 years old and the one I really loved has passed!
I really feel your pain. I think it is something many of us face as we get older and we look back. Our bodies have aged and seemed to have betrayed us and we find ourselves wondering why so much has gone wrong. I have loved and lost like you and I am working on healing my wounds. I go to grief counselling and it is really helpful. I was in the same situation as you ...I married too soon after a breakup.
You need to talk to someone you can trust, face to face and deal with your loss and pain..a trained counsellor.
This is so true. I feel people don’t really understand except my darling husband , I am sure at 72 I would have to go in a home if wasn’t for his help and always being positive . Thank you for posting such a great summary of how a lot of us feel especially as we get older love Elizabeth x
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