Comment has hit me hard

I have always been a very confident person till October last year after falling and fracturing my hip.I now have to have my knee done approx June I damaged it in the fall.

Yesterday a so called friend said you really slowed down since the fall and its aged you. Apart from the fact I am struggling with getting around with it she has really pulled me down.

No you be fine when it's done this is what I need. Ok I aren't a spring chicken at 72 but hell wish people would just think before saying something.

Really worried as I am a widow and 2 small dogs I have a son but can only do so much as he works all hours oh heck this is not me wonder if she is right sorry all.

15 Replies

  • victoriablue, sorry to hear this. Don't take it to heart what she said . Your body had a shock and will take time to recover. Damaging your knee will have a large affect on you. As long as you have some one who you see regularly. They can keep an eye on you. You can always ask him to do a bit more for you if you are struggling. You have been told you will have your op around June so try to stay positive. Sending you hugs XXX


  • If you were feeling OK in yourself what would you say "Rubbish - I'm doing all right!" But, of course, you are feeling vulnerable and this comment has made you feel other people are judging you and putting you down.

    I would try to make it a personal challenge of "I'll show you!". Silly woman. Growing old gracefully need not involve doing things quickly. Having a fall and struggling to get around is bound to slow a person down.

  • What an odd comment your friend made. Please don't allow a silly comment to drag you down. It doesn't matter if you are 72 or 18 years old, waiting for surgery to fix a damaged knee will slow anyone down....once your knee is fixed you will run circles around this friend!!

  • You WILL be fine when it's done Victoria.

    I fell & broke my arm last year & I agree it really does knock your confidence. Doing everything one handed was areal pain.

    I too could have done without remarks like "If you take any more pills you'll be like a pharmacy!" From a so called friend"

    I live alone & am just getting my act takes a bit of time & you've had a double whammy having to have your knee operated in.

    But as you say 'chin up' takes a lot to keep us old 'uns down!

    Let's hope we have a lovely summer so you can do your exercises outdoors!


  • Thank you for your replys at least I know it wasn't me it's the unkind so called friend. Rose

  • Hiya Rose, long time no see! It seems you've been in the wars, you need to add more water to it! How did you manage that? Seems to me some people don't think how their words can hurt, says me but I think you know me well enough to know I'm kidding. No, sometimes it would do them a service to think about how they'd think if it was them before they say such things. I can see exactly how you've been feeling, you've been going over & over it, making yourself more & more upset over a few words that very likely aren't true. Ok it may have slowed you down a bit, it would any one of us but the reason why hasn't been considered has it?

    It must really have knocked the stuffing out of you, but once your knee op is done hopefully you'll bounce right back to your normal self. I hope otherwise your health has been ok & Tilly & Lola are looking after you. Take good care, no more falling now. x

  • Hi normoreheels it is a long time remember the Tramadol lol.

    I fell over the hoover one of them Dyson sticks it was propped up against the door frame I turned round quick went flying over the top. Oh hell the French was in hospital 2 weeks 😭 Had a bone test bones are fine just sheer bad luck and the way I fell.

    Tilly & Lola are fine was worried about them but my son and granddaughter sorted them. How are you any way? I usually take no notice but feeling like I do it hurt not as much as my knee.

    Keep in touch I will update when I get my proper date. Got go to Leighton hospital Crewe only 2 mins from mine but quicker.

    Lots of love to all for cheering me up. Xxx

  • I do! It was a hard slog for you but you did it I'm very pleased to say! I do hope all is well in that regard?

    They're lethal that style of Dyson. One of my friends fell over hers, like you did she propped it up whilst she was moving a chair, stepped back & went wallop right on her back. It's fortunate you've good bone density, that will serve you well. Sounds as though your hip op went well, I hope it's the same for when you have your knee op.

    Pleased to hear Tilly & Lola are ok, I bet they missed you though & you them. Let me know nearer the time when you're going in & again take good care til then. x

  • So sorry to hear that you've been in the wars. I had a nasty fall 18 moths ago, and split my forehead. It really knocked my confidence.

    Since then I have lost my husband, and had a life threatening illness, an emergency operation, followed by 6 months of hospital admissions and intractable wound infections.

    I have three daughters, but none of them live nearby, and they live busy lives.

    I am now on the road to recovery, but progress is slow. I do understand how difficult it is to get through these traumatic events. The last thing you need is such comments.

    Of course it will take time to regain your fitness, especially if you are facing further surgery, but you have got through trying times in the past, and you will get there, even if it takes time. It is hard when you are alone, but you should get help to mobilise again.....take anything that's offered!!

    Take care, best wishes for your op. Do keep in touch, Mavis xx

  • Oh heck Mavis, you've been to hell & back by the sounds of it. Drop me a pm when you've a mo. x

  • Hi Mavis sorry to hear you lost your hubby and it sounds like you have been through it as well.

    Omg what are we coming to it's nearly 5 years since I lost my hubby still miss him suppose we always will.

    Pity your daughters are so far away and like you say busy lives. You think you are on your own till you come on here and some people are loads worse of than I am. What I like about this site people care enough to help you through.

    Hope all goes well on your recovery in the future. Rose xx

  • The important thing is that we support each other, and we understand. If you could beat tramadol you can beat anything! good to hear from you again, Rose, even in such circumstances.

    I'll get there, and so will you. Mavis xx

  • Oh, the words people say. But it was wonderful to go through such supportive replies. What a great bunch we have in this site! Thanks for being there .

  • I have been told I am not as much fun! Sorry...

  • No don't suppose I am but in pain who is. Going Joint school Tuesday must say not been school for a long time 😀😀

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