Sent £50 and still no reply

Sent £50 for my little grandson Easter and still not even a thank you totally ignored. I thought that maybe after a year my son may of at least said thank you but nothing. I know now that his wife must be really pleased that my son is having nothing to do with me. 😢 I was just hoping for at least a thank you. It seems to me that he is never going to speak to me now because I snapped back at his wife. I took all her nasty remarks and she finally pushed me to the limit. My family are now telling me that I should leave them nothing and to sell all my jewellery. So that she does not get nothing. It's very hard as I am not a hard person and I am not sure what to do. I have night where I don't get any sleep for thinking if he is ever going to speak to me again. I am worried about asking him what I have done so bad for this to go on for so long as it could give her more ammunition to fire and for him to take more in of what she could say. I have never in my hole life known a person as horrible as she is and so false. My husband is not my sons father so he does not get involved. Well I suppose I will just have to wait and see if this is going to be Final now he is married and has a son of his own. Maybe one day there son might do the same to them. I have missed out on so much of my Beautiful little grandson. I hope that you all are happy a good Easter. Take good care of yourselfs. Jan 🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷🌹sending you all some little flowers 🌺 to make you all smile. XXXXXXX

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34 Replies

  • It's awful when there's a family fall out so I really feel for you. I'd always leave the door open for however time it took. I don't know the circumstances of your fall out but have you tried writing to him & try to arrange meeting him somewhere for coffee. Feel for you. Take care

  • Hi Caza sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling to well. I have been thinking about writing to him but my son is A very stubborn person and I know I did not get a reply. My son lives abroad so this is why it makes it all so much harder as I would've gone to see him by now. No matter what I do that's why really does not like me and she will try and keep the rift between me and my son because she could not cope with how close we where. She has told my son so many lies about me and he has believed her. I'm sorry to say she's a very nasty person. They both have one son only and I hope even a low she has done this to me I hope my grandson never does this to them because the pain is so great. I truly hope you are well and take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xx

  • I feel for you. But as an avid watcher of Dr Phil I have to ask, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? You are undoubtedly right-- your sons wife shouldn't be nasty to you & people do snap. But has it made you happy? Reality is a son who is any kind of man will always back his wife against his mother. So the only option available to you is to accept the blame for the rift, write him aa grovelling letter of apology & suggest a meeting. It's great you've shown willing with the gift to your grandson & perhaps your son will see that his own son is missing out. Good luck.

  • I couldn't agree more avocadothrower1,

    This is the women your son chose to marry and is the mother of your grandson , as hard as it may seem you will need to reach out to her if you want a relationship with your son and grandson. Why don't you call today to wish them all a happy Easter, no big heart to heart needed just a genuine wish of happiness. That is something positive you could build on.

    You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain by not giving up on repairing your family. Good luck x

  • Hi avocadothrower1 sorry for the late reply only I have not been feeling too well. I have thought about writing to my son but I know I'm stubborn he is and no matter but I wrote I would never get a reply. It would make me worse every day knowing I have wrote to him and he would just slap me in the face again and everyday and night it would be going around in my mind. We where very very close before she came into your life and I feel she could not cope with that. I saw the way she looked at us and my son was being close. One day there will be away I'm sure of that so until then I will have to wait. I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xxx

  • Write him a letter. Don't blame or point fingers, just tell him how you feel. Let him know you still love him and want to be part of your grandchild's life. Ask if he will meet with you without his wife if that is how it needs to be. Reinforce how much you miss him and that you want to be a grandparent to his son. At least if you do that you know he knows exactly how you feel and where you stand. Good luck

  • Hi Someonesmother sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling too well. I must say I love you name. I have thought about writing I know my son I would not get a reply and that would hurt even more. This girl has done all of this because of her little plan she couldn't cope about how close my son and I where. My son knows that I want things to be sorted out and he's very stubborn and does not want It. I will keep on sending my grandsons easter, birthday and Christmas presents no matter what you do to me I will never stop. I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xxx

  • I am sorry that you are going through that Jan. It can be so cruel and I don;t think that they realise what pain they cause when they behave like that. I agree keep sending things and also maybe you could write letters to him. Even if they say simple things like what you have been doing, how you shored things with his dad when he was little and how one day you hope to be able to share those things with him. Maybe your son will read them and know what he is doing even if his wife won't. \Hope you feel better too and good luck

  • Ah thank you for your very kind words. I will try again to see what I get back fingers crossed. Take really good care of yourself. Jan 🌹🌷🌺👍xx

  • I guess we just try and see what happens in life. You look after yourself too

  • Jan you concentrate on you and enjoying your life - don't worry your son will realise his mistake of excluding you, just give it time. Go and pamper yourself put you first 🛁. Everything will come good - sometimes we need to step away, do a bit of soul searching for it to happen. Remember you cannot afford to stress with RA. Tons of blessings and stay strong. - 🌼

  • Yes, I agree. If Jan did make up with them, she would probably be handing out fistfuls of money and depriving herself, eg £50 for Easter. I would also write and ask if they received. They can't be too upset about anything as otherwise they would not accept the money.

  • Hi Delicateinput sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling to well. You are so right I have given to them thousands of pounds everytime I spoke with them on Facetime as they live abroad she would always say we have this to pay for and that to pay for every single time. My son would never say anything when she would do this. So one day I mentioned it to him and he said it's only her way off letting me know how we are doing. I got to the point I would put off speaking to them so much as it was costing me a fortune. I really mean thousands and thousands of pounds. I have worked really hard all my life for my money and I think she thinks I am a easy get out. So at least now I am using some of my money for myself. I would love to be a part of my grandsons life so he would know that he would have a loving grandmother. He was so young when this happened that he will not even know me now.😢 I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xx

  • Hi Hessie5 thank you for your kind words. Sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling to well. I will try that to see if it will take away some of my hurt away. I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xx

  • I am so sad for you. Send him a message saying how hard it is for you and how upset you are th st you cannot see him or your grandson. Do not mention any rifts between you and your daughter in law. Just send her love along with your son and grandson and hope that works. Just send a message like there was never a problem. I hope it works for you. God bless you. Xxxc

  • Hi Rahelp sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling to well. I have thought about writing but I know I would still not get a reply and that would hurt me even more. My son is very stubborn and I feel that he still does not want to speak to me. His father told him he only has one mum and that one day he would be sorry for what he is doing and it made no difference to him. No matter what I will still send easter birthday and Christmas presents to my grandson. I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xx

  • Hi hun that's a terrible thing why. You see let him get on with it and live your life you only making your pain worse. She's sounds a right person.

    Sending you hugs hun.

    Lynn xxx

  • Hi Lynn sorry for late reply not been to well. She is and I found out that she told my son something that I was supposed to of said and it was a blatant lie. She done this a few days after Christmas after I had given her a Beautiful Christmas. I cannot believe someone could be that nasty and I still never said nothing. Wasn't until my son was in hospital the day after his operation again she was really nasty and said don't shunt me when I asked to speak to her on FaceTime as the live abroad I said to her are you okay alright now love and then she can live with that. It was the wrong time and wrong place that I lost my temper with her because I had just been so worried about my sons operation and also the same day as my sons operation I had my operation and this all happened the day after. She sent me a text when she knew that I was going to pay the £4,000 hospital bill. Say we are a family and I love you and thank you for taking the big worry away. Sorry for snapping only my grandson ate here food and she had no rest. All that was said just because of the money. Then there's always the next time when I have to take one of her nasty remarks. Hope that you had a good Easter and you got your rota sorted out. Take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xxxx

  • Anyone in your situation would of snapped I would off and I have a temper when someone really peas me off.

    Bugs hugs. Hope you feeling better today.

    Lynn xx

  • Thank you Lynn xxx

  • Just keep smiling hun. Xxx

  • Ah thank you love. 😘 🌹🌷🌺🌸 for you for Easter 🐣

  • Sending hugs to you for the pain this is causing you.

    Please be careful of yourself.

    Calling them to wish everyone a happy Easter could be a baby step. Even if your son tries to get off phone quickly stay cheerful and ask him to send your love to the entire family and give your grandson a special kiss.

    Perhaps if you just take baby steps every couple of weeks they will realize you do t want to argue just to be happy and see them.

    It's hard so be sure to give yourself plenty of love. Along the way.

  • Hi Multijo sorry for late reply only I have not been very well. Thank you for your very kind words. He lives abroad and I afraid to say he would not pick up the phone. I left a long reply on Lynn post so you can have a little bit of a insight to how she has been treating me. I truly hope that you are feeling as well as you can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xxx

  • I know that when other people have the same problems in life as me it doesnt solve my problem but it does make me feel less alone and isotated to know know others are struggling to.

    My son hasnt spoken to me for nearly 20years (it was all instigated by his father when I left him) But my son was an adult and more than capable of making his own choices when I left his father. I did manage to get in touch with him about 2 years ago - I tracked him down with the help of the salvation army. My son said that he wanted to speak to me so I phoned him and for a couple of months I phoned him, emailed him and he emailed me and we swapped photos on line then all of a sudden he started getting horrible again saying dreadful things in his emails - I have know idea why? He did say that he had bi-polar so Im not sure if that was the reason he started saying awful things I did ask him but he didnt reply- is your son not well ??

    Anyway I was more upset than I had been the first time he stopped speaking to me so I saw a cousellor who suggested that I write to him so I did - I told him how much I loved him and that I always would - I reminded him of the lovely times we had together before I left his father and that I was still that same person. That was nearly two years ago and I havent heard from him. The counsellor said that I could only do my bit I couldnt make him do his and if he choose to not have contact with me there wasnt anything I could do. I could hold out my hand to him but I couldnt make him take it.

    I have learned to accept this and have in many ways found some peace. It hurts me if I see one of my friends with her grown up son and the good relationship they have but thats the way it is. I do send him a birthday card on his birthday once a year but never hear back - I think the card is just to let him know Im still alive and Im still here for him if he needs me..

    Im not bitter or angry just sad but I dont want to be in touch with him if he is still angry after 20yrs - he hasnt moved on but I feel I have.

    So speak to someone who preferably some one who has the skills to let you look at things in a different light - a cousellor, Dr or Vicar not a relative I found they couldnt help me.

    Good luck try not to be to sad try do nice things for yourself - anything good to make yourself feel better

    take carexx

    ps I do go on a bit but I do feel for you

  • Hi lornaisobel sorry for late reply only I have not been feeling well. It was very sad for me to read your post. It must of been really hard for you to make things better with your son and now for this to happen. My heart really goes out to you. ❤️ I think that your son is missing out on a lovely mother and one day he will know that he was wrong to behave in the way he is doing. I truly hope that one day you both will be friends again. Take really good care of yourself. Jan 🤗🤗🌹🌷🌹xxx

  • Thanks for your lovely reply - I hope you also become friends again with your son xx

  • Thank you so much. 🌹🌷🌹

  • lovely reply lorna isobel -brave woman xx

  • It's a heartbreaking and emotional time for you. My son broke up with his girlfriend and we didn't see our 3 grandchildren for 6 years. When we eventually had contact it didn't last as she would keep changing her mind. Using the kids as ammunition is so despicable yet she's happy to keep taking my sons money for them. One day your son may suddenly come to his senses. Everyone needs their Mum at some stage in their life. Trust me - i know xxxx

  • Hi CloudTreeDrive13 she sounds absolutely terrible. I really dislike women that use the children 👶. My brother is going through the same thing one minute he can see his daughter then the next minute she changes her mind. In my case I have the daughter in law from hell and she tells terrible lies and of course my son believes her. We where so very close and she could not cope with the closeness between my son and me and now she has broken us up. I know this is cruel but she only has one son my grandson and maybe one day he might do the same to her. I really hope that one day my son will see sense. I hope that you are feeling well. xxx

  • No it's not cruel. They do say "What goes around, comes around". I do think men get a raw deal having money taken out of their wages and no say in the matter. It's my Grandsons 13th birthday next Wednesday. I have put a Happy Birthday notice in our local paper knowing full well she will see it. Then i wait for the reaction to come. Although my son is the father to all 3 she has not put him on their birth certificates. I refuse to use her surname so deliberately leave it off. Oh the joys of family feuds !!! You are not alone xxxx

  • Hi CloudTreeDrive13

    Thank you for your understanding. She sounds very unfair to your son and your family. I have also had a comment just before your one and I am very hurt. She could be implying to everyone when they have problems with people that come into their family. Her reply is just above yours. Implying my son had a problem when he was younger. I am so angry and upset. Once again thank you for being so understanding and I sympathise with your situation also as I really know how some of these women can be. Take good care of yourself. Jan xxx

  • My heavens I feel terrible for you and your hubbys situation. It's lovely to hear that your children have grown up very happy. Your father in law sounds one very awful man and I would never let him or anyone like him near any children. But how can you possibly say that something has happened to my son, you have no idea about my son and I can assure you my son had a very happy and privileged upbringing. I am totally cross at you suggesting that something has happened to my son. If my son was here now he would be furious at your suggestions. My son is embarrassed by his wife and her telling lies no more than that and as he is her husband he feels he has to standby her. So I will reiterate my son and I both know that he had a fabulous upbringing and also all of my family. I feel in the future you should not I repeat not comment on anyone's posts that you do not know the whole situation. I am absolutely appalled at what you have written. Please do not comment on any of my posts ever again.

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