Feeling blue

[Heathersmum69]

Hi everyone,

I hope you all are okay this morning. I started a part time post yesterday and today I am too ill to move let alone go in to work.

I thought a nice part time position on the counters at Sainsburys would be fine,much better than nursing running around all day. How wrong was I. I stood up for eight hours solid ,I carried heavy buckets of water,I had to lift crates of meat,I had to fetch back and forth from the chiller. I spent the day freezing cold,despite lots of layers I couldn't get warm.

Then at five thirty I crawled home. I couldn't move all night ,and this morning I feel terrible.

I got a telling off from my husband because I didn't listen to him. He did say that it would be too much ,but me knowing best I didn't listen. Now I have to give up my job that I wanted to work.

Note to self. I should listen to others,and when they say don't,work because you haven't even started your Biologics yet. I should listen and not be so stubborn.

Take care everyone,

Jane xx😢

[Pinkbungelowgirl]

Hi here, am so sorry you are feeling so poorly. I'm made of the same stuff as you with a husband to match yours, so I do understand where you are coming from. Don't blame yourself too much and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a close friend in the same situation. You will recover and once you start you new treatment you may feel up to doing a few hours at a time in a work situation. See how you go. It is ok to feel blue. So with that in mind I'm sending you gentle hugs and my admiration for trying so hard. Take care. Thinking of you.x

[popsmith1874 in reply to Pinkbungelowgirl]

Hope you feel better soon I did the same 3months ago I work for local authority I was back a week and after the 1 day I knew it was a mistake but I hate being off and thought I be okay hope you get fixed out and get back to work take care

[Possitive_ attitude]

Reading your letter and the replies I am glad I am not on way own.

I am waiting to start biologics, every else has not suited or worked.

I have a very responsible volunteer role which fortunately I do th majority from home. This has worked very well, but this last two Weeks I have struggled with motivation, ability to even use a keyboard and feeling too exhausted to pick up the phone.

I keep thinking I should pack it all in but others are trying to encourage me to hang on in, new melds make a difference.

Yesterday I spent 5 hours at the venue, front of house, delegating jobs, no lifting, no walking, sitting in a special chair with foot rests. However when I got home ( a two minute walk) I went straight to bed, 4pm, slept woke up unable to move.

I have to keep asking myself is it worth it.

I am looking at people's with rollators with jealously and coverting such items not to walk but to sit down on. At 55 I don't want to resort to that yet.

So feeling positive, I am not going to make a decision untill I have started this new treatment as I may be able to think straighter and getting better quality of sleep.

I am contacting my doctor for a request for prescription for rollator as recommended by social services who are now trying to get me some support at home with food preparation etc.

Trying to take on a paid job with regular hours is what our heads thinks we can do with added benefits being feeling valued, sense of worth, but we forget our bodies have another opinion but for some reason the two don't often communicate, but then if they did, we may not try anything and just give in and I am not ready for that yet.

I think being stubborn means we don't want to give in.

I get feeling blue, frustrated may be another expression.

I am glad that this site is big enough for us all to feel safe to say honestly how we feel.

I hope you find an achievement today to celebrate to help even the balance.

Thank you for being honest and expressing your thoughts it has helped me to know I am not on my own.

[Hidden]

Be kind to yourself Bats- there is nothing wrong with following your intuition. Something will work out for you I am sure. Cheers Doreen

[Pinkbungelowgirl]

Just checking back in.....hoping you have loosened up a little as the day has gone on. Keep warm, eat and drink what ever you fancy, sleep well tonight. Carry on being you, RA hates stubbornness, And don't let it make brown eyes blue!!! : )

[Heathersmum69 in reply to Pinkbungelowgirl]

Thank you for your messages. I have had a very quiet day. I have slept most of the day. I have just had a small bowl of pasta for my dinner.

I feel exhausted after yesterday. I am always so hard on myself,I try to do what I think is the right thing , in this case earning money. What I never think about is my health.

Hopefully the Biologics will come along soon and make me all better.

Bye for now.

Jane xx

[Hidden]

Hello there Jane,

You sound EXACTLY like me!! Stuborn to the core of my soul. Don't tell me what I

can not do. I am not weak. I know my limits. I will prove it to you...Then I spend a couple of days in bed because I'm in so much pain...When oh when will we ever learn?

Take care

Sue

[popsmith1874 in reply to Hidden]

Yip it's happened to me again I'm in bed and I'm going to stay here apart from going to a doctors appt at 12 .10 I just hope I qualify for Biologics next week this disease is getting a real pain in the a...