"Inside voice" seems to have switched off....!!!

[Simone_Holly]

Hello! Hope everyone is as ok as possible. I've found that over the past few months I've been rather unable to use my "inside my head voice" and seem to feel the need to verbalise the truth when things annoy me a lot more than I used too!! I'm not sure if this is a consequence of meds, or because I'm generally less tolerant due to the illness (pain, tiredness etc) or possibly just because I'm a bit of a natural moo!!! Eeek!!! I've not been hideous to anyone but I certainly can't be bothered to "sugar the pill" if I'm giving my all to frank opinions....anyone else found anything similar or shall I just get a gag?! Thanks!!! x

[farm123]

oh yes tell it how it is ... blunt manner .... full time PMS

I think it is a combination of the meds, pain and tiredness. Unfortunately it is those closest to you at home get the full force and it does not always take much to annoy/upset you which at other times you would not even notice.

Googled low white count yesterday as mine has dipped and got 'hot flashes, tiredness and irritable' - hits the nail on the head at the moment. Farm

[Simone_Holly in reply to farm123]

Thanks for this, it's good to know im not totally alone in this! I hope the low cell count can get sorted for you and hopefully in turn ease the feelings it might be creating. Take care x

[moomie]

Count me in on this one. Very intolerant irritable and short tempered.

[Simone_Holly in reply to moomie]

It's horrid isn't it! Hope you're coping as ok as possible x

[skinnycappuccino]

Hello Simone! Are you on steroids by any chance? I was terribly irritable on them and even more impatient than normal. But I think when you have to deal with big things like RA you tend not to want to waste time with annyoing, petty and stuipd things and therefore show that more clearly than 'healthy' people. At least, this is the case with me sometimes! Love, Christine xx

[Simone_Holly in reply to skinnycappuccino]

Hello! Yes I'm on steroids, they've been upped recently to deal with a flare so might explain why I've noticed it more! I think you're right too about not wanting to waste time with petty things, well said thanks and take care x

[skinnycappuccino in reply to Simone_Holly]

I'd put my money on the steroids then I think as long as you are aware of it and realise it's partly the steroids it's easier to deal with! I'd never been informed that steroids can affect mood / personality so when it happened to me I thought I was going mental lol. xx

[Simone_Holly in reply to skinnycappuccino]

Thanks i must admit to feeling fairly mental too!!!! Definatly a relief to hear it might be steroid related and it's not just me!!! Hope you're doing ok x

[skinnycappuccino in reply to Simone_Holly]

Thanks yes, I'm doing great - but getting steroid injections into my right foot on Tuesday so everybody better watch out lol! I've been off oral steroids since spring 2014 but I still have a bit of a temper so I blame that partly on my personality and partly on RA (Helix has decribed it brilliantly in her post!). xx

[Simone_Holly in reply to skinnycappuccino]

Good luck with your injection, I hope it helps great to hear that you've been off oral steroids though, hope it stays that way! Nothing wrong with a bit of a temper, goes with the territory of Ra by the sounds of it and at least we aren't alone take care x

[Hidden]

Hello Simone

All I can suggest is that youtalk to your GP/Nurse/Specialist regarding your feelings.

It may be medication although get that confirmed. We are always here

BOB

[Simone_Holly in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Bob, I've got an appointment with my consultant in a month so will mention it then hope you're doing ok x

[dtech]

What's the man equivalent to PMS then? I think I get it too 😉

[nomoreheels in reply to dtech]

IMS... Irritable Male Syndrome, that's what you men get dtech! Us girls can't have anything on our own lol!

[Hidden in reply to nomoreheels]

Hello Heels

Both men and women been grumpy together, it is not a woman thing any more.

No more excuses !!!

BOB

[nomoreheels in reply to Hidden]

Hiya Bob, hope you're ok?

Nope, both are equally grumpy sometimes!

[Hidden in reply to nomoreheels]

Will be an OAP in about five days, all hormone days seem past and gone hope you are ok

BOB

[nomoreheels in reply to Hidden]

Happy birthday for Thursday! Are you doing anything to mark the day?

I'm not too bad, thanks for asking.

[Hidden in reply to dtech]

Men suffer from a hormone thing, It was a long time ago I suppose

[nomoreheels]

I agree with Farm, I think it's a combination of things we just have no control over basically. Similar to PMT, I had no idea I was behaving any differently but my h did, not that he told me unless things came to a head if I questioned it bless him.

[Simone_Holly in reply to nomoreheels]

Thanks for letting me know how you've found things, I think you're probably right in that it's a combination. I guess in time hopefully I'll figure out how to be nice again....!!!! X

[Hidden in reply to nomoreheels]

Some men get those hot flushes as well

BOB

[helixhelix]

I also think getting a diagnosis of something chronic does make you re-evaluate what you want to spent your limited energy on. So I no longer have patience for semi-friends, or saying "yes of course I'd love to come to your (appalling) child's school play", or sitting though pointless discussions about whether the communal planter should be moved from a to b in our flats' communal garden. And rather than go into endless excuses I just say NO, sorry I can't and leave it at that. So I'm sure people now think I'm Ms Grumpy.

[Simone_Holly in reply to helixhelix]

I think that's very well said thanks for makin me feel more justified in being more honest about what can and can't be done. Take care x

[flow4 in reply to helixhelix]

Yes, what helix said, exactly!

I do sometimes find it a bit tricky at work... Truth doesn't always go down well there!

[dtech]

IMS, love it 😂

[Martinilady]

Being Grumpy - I get told by the family " Its your age" (Im nearly 65 but a young 65) or " you've lived on your own for so long" which is all bulls...t because I still work 3 full days a week (had to drop 2days becoz of this RA) and I still have a social life once again I often decline going out becoz I don't feel up to it. So I think the Grumpy bit is down to pain & medication & fatigue. And maybe the realisation that we cant do EVERYTHING we used to do even tho I have a bloody good attempt to live a normal life but accept that I cant do what I used to do. People just dont understand that an "unseen" illness can make you feel like this.

[Simone_Holly in reply to Martinilady]

Hello, what you've said makes sense, thank you. Good for you for battling on! It is frustrating not being able to do everything but I guess it makes the things we can do even more enjoyable good point about the illness being unseen too. take care and thanks again x

[Maud1970]

I'm exactly the same, can't seem to control my mouth. Got a short fuse for bull***** and people moaning about trivial things when all I want is a day without pain, Meds, side effects, arranging blood tests, making appointments etc etc. I really don't think it's anything to do with any particular Meds it's that your life has changed and like me now have a short fuse for silly comments, moaning without a genuine reason and general bull****. My tolerance levels are near zero and am trying very hard to change but am finding it very hard. Hope you have better luck xxx moooooo lol😉

[Simone_Holly in reply to Maud1970]

Moooooo! thanks for sharing your experiences as its good to realise its not just me with very low tolerance!! The goal posts change like you say about just wanting a "healthy" day and a lot of the time we literally don't have the energy or inclination to tolerate much more than ourselves! Good luck with it all and if you figure out a way I can be less cow and more human let me know x

[Braecoon]

For me it's certain friends who just don't understand even though they are nurses. One friend accused me of being 'passive aggressive' and is trying to get me to take on extra work. I've explained to her that my red blood cell count and haemoglobin has been dropping steadily for the last month and I am anaemic on top of RD not being very well controlled. I am forcing myself in to work and because she sees me at work I think she sees this as me being OK and how I was pre RD diagnosis. I know if I took on this bit of work it would greatly advantage me and will secure long term financial benefits and it is killing me that I am having to say no. I feel as ill as I had become in March when I was hospitalised. I even sent this friend the 'spoons theory', she is very intelligent and I am sure she would have gained insight if she had read it. I'm wondering now if she did read it!!!!!!!! Sorry for being so negative at moment but having RD is pants and it does change your life, your goals and ability to handle people and relationships.

[Simone_Holly in reply to Braecoon]

Hello, please don't appologise for saying how you feel! I'm glad you can be honest and I totally agree that it's pants! I'm sorry your work are being so unsupportive, it's so hard getting people to understand the illness and for them to realise that how we look doesn't always reflect how we feel or what's going on in our bodies. Maybe try talking to someone else at work or keep ploughing away with any literature you can get your hands on and hopefully she'll listen. Failing that, I'll go and talk to them for you! hehe! with my current lack of ability to keep my mouth shut I'm sure it would go well good luck and take care x

[craigsif]

Steroids bloody things , my boss lady hates when I have to take a 5 days dose, i am like zepparde boing up,bing down, and boy do I snarl at her, and it's not her fault I know thats unusual lol.

Yes I am afraid certain drugs certainly create tension. I am sure I do tell her that I am taking them but that might be the other side saying I have, remember you never alone with schizophrenia.

my rheumatoid consultant explained that due to the constant pain/inflammation one could find themselves operating outside normal parameters , we both laughed at that one.

hoping you're feeling better for letting it out Simone, at least its a safety valve. no one has called me Mr Meldrew yet!! though I bet its gone through their minds lol.

[Simone_Holly in reply to craigsif]

Hehe, never alone with schizophrenia! Love it, I feel totally bi polar sometimes and I've no idea if I'm coming or going, who iam or what reality really is! I'm going to have to use your phrase about operating outside normal parameters too, genius! Sorry you struggle with this too but thank you for your post good luck with it all and I hope your boss lady keeps being understanding. Take care x