Life reminded me of something important

I've been quite caught up lately with bits swelling that haven't done before, and lumpy things growing and where I go next with meds.....all that sort of stuff. And over the weekend something happened that put it all into perspective.

A friend from my old job who is the same age as me (49) was out running. He loved to run - super fit - triathlons, marathons - all that sort of stuff. He was knocked down by a cyclist but felt OK, so they both went on their way. Later on, he didn't feel so great and was admitted to the local hospital before being transferred to the Neuro unit in Edinburgh with a serious brain injury. He was pronounced brain dead and held on life support pending organ retrieval for donation.

So, super fit Peter, who only went out for a run, is dead. And I'm a bit rickety, but I'm still here......

Just made me think that living inside this awful disease can make it hard to see much further than the next lot of tablets. I really need to make the effort to look at the pluses and try not to get so caught up with the minuses.

17 Replies

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  • That's sad. Having had more than my fair share of tragedy in my family, I understand exactly where your coming from.

    I think that's why I cope better now, with the pain & all the other stuff that goes with it, than I would of done a few years ago. My thoughts are with you & his family. x

  • Hi, so very sorry to read about your friend...you post makes a lot of sense. Best wishes x

  • That is sad. And if it helps you to feel less introspective and to focus more on the happier stuff of being alive that's a very natural response to the death of a friend too I feel. However at least he died while doing something he loved and didn't suffer too much physically at the end or in his daily life either so good to try and focus and this too perhaps?

  • I'm sorry for your loss. I agree we should not feel so hard done by. My nephew died at the age of 15 of osteosarcoma, it puts a completely different aspect on your own problems when you watch a child suffer so much.

  • It does us good sometimes to appreciate all we have rather than what we've lost I think. Sometimes it's not easy but when you hear such a sad, even shocking story it jerks us back from our own ills. I'm sorry you've such a sad reality check, it must be awful for his family also. We had a similar shock yesterday, the younger brother of a man my h was at school with & who lived directly opposite from us once was in the news yesterday, he made the decision to cut short his life at Dignitas. Very sad & my heart goes out to his family.

  • Just listening to that on the radio and been reading about it in the papers. Gives us all a great deal to think about. I believe that someone with the presence of mind should be able to made this decision but there are all sorts of angles that need to be looked at too is, like everything in life/death, is open to corruption

  • Was that the guy with cancer at dignitas . Sending you hugs a brave thing to do although others dont see it that way I really really do xx my bil has ms and we all discussed it years ago . He has decided not an option now but so pleased he trusted us to discuss it with us

  • Yes it was. He explored every avenue, really did try all he could, operations until no more could be done for him, researching for hours on end & even considering & trying alternative treatments (one was high dose Vitamin C which has been mentioned in the past on this site) hoping it would reduce the tumour. He feared becoming a quadriplegic & being a burdon to his loved ones, a very close knit family. My thoughts are you just don't know unless you're in that position but I do think it's awful that desperately ill people (I've read it's one person a fortnight from the UK) who wish to be in control of dying have no option but to travel to find the "emergency exit door" as Dignitas refers to it.

    I'm sorry, I didn't know your b-i-l has MS & considered this as well but so pleased he was comfortable enough that he could discuss it with his family. I do think that must make things easier given the circumstances, if the family are aware of your wishes I mean before you're in the position that you can no longer say what you'd want or don't want to happen. He must have been considering this way even if he doesn't think it's not an option now probably knowing that you have to be of sound mind to go that route. I just think it's awful & can't imagine being in the position to even consider it. x

  • well said you. sorry for your loss

  • I heard about this in our local Edinburgh news. How awful.

  • So sorry to hear about your friend. Having lost a family member who was only 48 suddenly, I can understand how you are feeling. Certainly does put things into perspective.

    Beverley

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to come to terms when these freak incidents can completely change lives. I lost my best friend at the age of 47 a few years ago. She had 6 months from diagnoses to death. It was awful to watch a young, life loving woman being drugged to the point of coma and then death. There is hardly a day passes that I don't think of the beautiful Angela.

    Give yourself time to heal.I'm really sorry forPeter and his family and friends.

    Jean XX

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

  • So sorry for your loss . I get your logic too . We should celebrate being here in whatever rubbish form it may xx we have a deal in our house for backhanded complimenting . Eg I cried cos I d put on weight so my 12 yr old said you are harder to kidnap if u are overweight . its crude but it keeps us going

  • I was feeling a bit teary reading the other posts but your wee one just made me laugh :)

  • Thanks for all your replies. I suppose it is a good thing that it was quick, no suffering involved. And the organs he donated will mean lots of good things for the people who receive them. Suppose the rest of us just have to keep plodding along....

  • What wonderful encouragement! Thank you!

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