Start of Day 4

[FranxLove]

Physical withdrawal is over so strong cravings are gone.

But psychologically I am still a smoker and am going through triggers like right after I get in my car and drive out of work, any time I get excited or happy, any time I am having fun talking to someone, as well as wanting to smoke while doing gardening, while writing, and after meals.

I catch myself bargaining that "maybe I am gonna die really young anyway, so I can totally get away with being a smoker!"

But its the better quality of life I want.

In this moment I would love to grab the blackest tobacco with the highest nicotine content and roll it up and give it one of those throat hits that pierce your brain--a parlayzing focus that strikes in the center of the forehead and that hits just the spot...

Will I go through the rest of my life without experiencing that amazing high ever again?

Yes, because that is truth. To smoke is utter nonsense. One knows this so now one must live up to that truth. And besides, the positives far outweight the cons; I have stopped coughing, breathe better, sleep waaaay better, am way calmer, have waay more energy, and parts of my witty personality have come back.

I am picking up where the 14 year old me left off...learning how to deal with my emotions without pleassure sticks as a crutch.

I want this change! I have to make this work! I know I am actually, truly, a non smoker...obviously, right? So I have to be the true me then and quit this old dumb habit.

[gggg123 7 Years Smoke Free]

How old are you ?

[FranxLove 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to gggg123]

23 my friend.

[gggg123 7 Years Smoke Free in reply to FranxLove]

You're very dramatic in conquest to stop smoking !.... 😋

[FranxLove 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to gggg123]

lol u think that was dramatic? U should see everything that I edited out xD Im literally asking God to help me thru this.

[gggg123 7 Years Smoke Free in reply to FranxLove]

You should write if don't already, 50 shades of nicotine or something !.

On a serious note you're young and the more you continue down your drug fest road the more it will psychologically get a hold of you and if you decide to quit at a later date, be much more troublesome for you too do.

Leave your old lover nicotine behind, they're are a drain and are lying to you, cheating on you and will eventually betray you and may even plot to kill you !!.

You have been warned, we all here know about it's lies, do not listen to it's romantic platitudes !.

[FranxLove 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to gggg123]

lol thats hillarious gggg xD They are a DRAIN.

Moving foward in life is harder with nicotine adiction because everyday has been more or less the SAME: a 24hr juggling act between withdrawal (1 hour and no nicotine and going nuts) and overdose (smoking 10 cigs in a sitting and feeling lethargic.)

[Mummymonster 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to FranxLove]

I think you are very expressive, and a great writer. And it really is a massive change, like pregnancy, affects every thing in the body. Franxlove there is an app called Insight Timer, and there is a 7 minute mindfulness meditation on smoking that kind of reproduces smoking. I think if they’d ever been a smoker they could have done it better, but honestly in the first weeks I was doing that 10 times a day, and thinking how I would have made it.

Please give it a try and tell me what you think.

You are doing great!

Mmx

[FranxLove 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to Mummymonster]

thanks so much mummy thats a great suggestion and I currently meditate...It might be the single best thing u can do to quit smoking.

[KatNL 6 Months Smoke Free in reply to FranxLove]

Hey good luck to you FranxLove. I am liking your drama. And I think, if this helps, the older you get the more obnoxious quitting is. So if you want to quit now is a terrific time! Also the dying young thing, I get that and thought that. But what actually happens is that people get a horrible breathing disease or have a stroke and are disabled - hard things and lifelong..

[FranxLove 100 Days Smoke Free in reply to KatNL]

Thanks Kat I know! Or you could loose toes or legs. And even if u do just suddenly die of a heart failure related to smoking...thats such a dumb way to go, smoking these stupid sticks that make these CEOs billionaires.

If I quit now that means I am actually quite smart! I got away with knowing about the pleassure of smoking in this life, as well as the pains of addiction. Its all knowledge.

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Welcome FranxLove - over 50 days smoke free now, how are you getting on?