Ok so on day 2 but omg I wish I had a job I went out the house too, as a work at home mum I have been able to smoke 24/7 almost, I haven't had restrictions on my smoking for more than around 2 hours for years.
So what am doing I'm hiding I've cancelled work for 2 weeks I've arranged childcare so free between 9-3 for today then hubby off mon-tues , and I'm in bed hiding........tooooo stupid I read Allen Carrr I KNOW I never want to smoke again but I don't know if it's because I suffer anxiety attacks and depression or just I'm a tad stupid but I seem to be in a constant craving of that tight empty chest feeling, I just woke in a panick I dreamt I had found some cigarettes and put them into my pocket for throwing away later....then all of a sudden I had one in my mouth I had lit it subconsciously, the shock actually woke me up in a panic of omg now I have to start all over again.
I'm sooo scared this will last forever that my head has cancelled Allen Carr and turned it into willpower and I will spend the rest of my life pining and feeling like this, yet I know I don't want a cigarette I just want this feeling to stop, this tightness and emptiness how can you be empty for something you don't want ?? ADDICTION plain and simple.