Day 32 - Struggling but perspective pulled me through

Hiya All

Firstly I state I have not smoked but its been very difficult lately with old nick playing havoc with my mind. I thought I would've pulled through to the other side by now meaning that the cravings would all be gone and I would be chilled out but they are still pestering me. I was busy giving the house my usual ocd clean (since stopping smoking lol) also my sister is due to arrive from south England tomorrow so I am really looking forward to that.

My boyfriend had gone to visit his mate Joe who I've talked about before (the guy who is suffering from COPD). I hadn't had opportunity to meet him yet but when I rang my boyfriend to suggest meeting up for a coffee later, he suggested to come down and meet him. I'm glad I did.

Upon entering his home the first thing (eyes wide) what I noticed was the clear tubing running from room to room from his oxygen tank. His breathlessness as he spoke, such a nice gentleman, he made me feel very welcome and talked openly about his illness.

Im thanking my lucky stars and thankyou Joe for making me realise that to go back to smoking could be disastrous. He knew himself and had ignored the warnings. I asked him if he had his time over again would he smoke and you can imagine the answer was a clear "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Ive been given a chance to do the right thing and I will continue. Putting things into perspective....why am I feeling miserable when I could be much more miserable if I continued to smoke!!! No thanks Mr Evil Nick. Your temptations to trying to get me to buy JUST a 10 pack have failed.

Cheers Joe and thanks to my boyfriend for understanding my foul moods lately.

Im just thinking if I continued to smoke and ended up with an housebound illness. Nawwww.

Anyway, I keep thinking how disappointed I would be with myself the next morning if I did. I would be gutted if I give in after this length of time.

Laters

Paula

Breathe free and stay safe.

5 Replies

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  • Hi Paula

    seeing someone struggling to breathe is certainly a big wake up call :eek:

    just remember to be gentle with yourself those thoughts will get weaker the longer you stay quit smoking after all has been a part of your every waking day so its natural for you to still have those thoughts

    but i promise you this at some point very soon you will suddenly realise that you havent thought about smoking for afew hours which will in turn be days then weeks

    it does get alot easier just make sure you keep coming on here whenever you feel tempted post and wait for at least 2 replies by then the urge/yearn will have passed

    onwards and upwards is the only way too go

    hope you have a great weekend

    :)

    x

  • It's still relatively early days Paula, so it isn't surprising that you're still experiencing 'cravey' days. As Carol says, they do become less & less frequent (and less intense) as time passes. Well done on your 32 days by the way! That's one fantastic achievement.

    What a wake-up call seeing poor Joe must have been though! It does make you thank your lucky stars doesn't it?

    I hope you have a lovely time with your sister. :)

  • power to you paula !!

  • Well done on making it to month 2 Paula. I think we all have that realisation moment in our quit as to what cigarettes actually do to you and at the end of the day, our health must be our biggest motivation x

  • Hi Paula, well done on reaching month two. Your post really hits home about the possible effects and illnesses of smoking. Thank you for sharing. :)

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