Tobacco - your two faced friend

There are a good few people who dip their toe into this forum knowing that they really should think about giving up smoking sometime. Not now of course, because now isn't quite the right time, but maybe next week, or next month.

Next year, or five years down the line, they'll still be having exactly the same thought - sometime soon, but not just now.

Maybe in ten or twenty years their thoughts will have moved on - I wish I'd given up whilst I still had the chance, before it got too late. These people are faced with planning their own demise, saying goodbye to their families bacause they have, quite literally, smoked themselves to death.

I guess nearly everyone reading this will recognise this scenario - those still smoking probably don't like to think about the last bit as it's too awful to entertain such thoughts.

So here you are contemplating stopping smoking. Your rational conscious mind tells you that to carry on smoking is crazy. It costs a fortune. It steals your health, it steals your energy, it steals your self pride. You stink. People look at you in disgust.

And yet....

Still you carry on, without really understsanding why.

Certainly there is no physical health benefit - maybe it's because of the miraculous mental health benefits?

- when you're having goods times it's there to celebrate with you

- when you're having bad times it's there to commiserate with you

- when you're stressed it's there to relax you

- when you're bored it's there to engage you

Whatever the situation, whatever the mood; tobacco, your marvellous friend, is there to enhance and improve the experience. As a smoker, this was my reality. This is what kept me smoking for over thirty years.

If you're struggling to stop, then open your mind to the fact that this 'reality' is a complete illusion. It's a very powerful illusion granted; so powerful that many remain under the spell until it kills them. It's not until you've put in a few months since your last cigarette that you can see it for the lie that it is.

Your marvellous 'friend' creates the illusion of enhancing and improving any given situation by removing the withdrawal pangs created by the last cigarette you had - in other words, it helps you feel 'normal' again, but the only reason you stopped feeling normal in the first place is because of your last cigarette.

Tobacco gives the very convincing impression that it is helping you, when the reality is that it created the problem in the first place. It holds out its hand to support you, yet it laughs behind your back.

Would you keep a friend like that?

20 Replies

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  • Just wonderful

    I completely agree with every word you have written

    Well done

    xx

  • Don't wait another week-QUIT.

    Smoking is seriously bad for you-fact :mad:

    Quitting frees you from addiction-fact :)

    Quitting is actually as EASY as you WANT it to be -- fact :)

  • "quitting is as easy as you want it to be"

    Easier said than done. Agreed quitting is easy; the difficult part is staying quit. To achieve this, one first of all has to admit that nicotine has them beat hands down and that it's the addictive nature of the demon that is running the show. If it was easy as Steve statement suggests the tobacco industry would shut down tomorrow as most smokers I know have a genuine desire to quit. Where the manufacturers win hands down is they know that smokers are addicts and addiction of any type is a very hard illness to beat. Personally I think that the key to a successful quit is how much do you want it and will you go to any length to achieve it. Its an all or nothing scenario you really must have that honest desire.

    Lefoy123

  • Loving this post.

    But if quitting smoking was easy, NO ONE WOULD SMOKE, we all know the hard truths of quitting, my mother just could not stop, and as for many I,m sure this resulted in her death, at least in part.

    For me any addiction is a hard battle to come through. For some then YES indeed it is easy, But for some the addiction is so strong that quitting is just not doable.

    But all on here want to quit, and stay quit.

    Go on give it a go, you won't know until you try. :)

  • Brilliant post egg, I read something from Allen Carr that absolutely resonated with me and that is this "smokers only feel 'normal' when they have satisfied their addiction as soon as that cigarette is gone 10minutes later they are wanting that feeling of normality again....in essence, smokers are striving to feel how non smokers feel ALL the time"

  • Great post Egg!

    Donna, I haven't read Allen Carr but you have just reminded me of a conversation I had with a non smoker friend a while back. She asked me what smoking 'does' for me and I told her, it makes me feel normal. To feel like she does all the time I have to smoke otherwise I feel lousy, terrible when you think about it, no wonder most of us find it so hard to quit!

  • Great post Egg!

    Donna, I haven't read Allen Carr but you have just reminded me of a conversation I had with a non smoker friend a while back. She asked me what smoking 'does' for me and I told her, it makes me feel normal. To feel like she does all the time I have to smoke otherwise I feel lousy, terrible when you think about it, no wonder most of us find it so hard to quit!

    Yes I agree, some people find it remarkably easy but others including myself not so.... I must admit Allen Carrs book is helping me see it in a different light, but we really were just chasing it all day satisfying the withdrawal from the last cigarette just to feel like "us" when all we are trying to achieve is to feel like our non smoking counterparts.....AND we were paying through the nose in money and health for the pleasure! Madness really isn't it?

  • Yes I agree, some people find it remarkably easy but others including myself not so....

    But when you talk of finding 'it' easy (or not), what 'it' are you referring to? I can agree with Max and Steve.

    Max says it is hard. Agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is adopting the right mindset. I found this incredibly hard. After throwing away my last significant quit in 2008, it took another four years to find that mindset again - and this was after already having done it once. I knew what I needed to do, but I just couldn't get there.

    Steve says it is easy (or as easy as you want it to be). Again, agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is the process of quitting, once you've found that mindset. Something clicked very early on and I found this quit easy, once it was underway.

    If I only knew why, I would bottle it and get rich:D:D

  • But when you talk of finding 'it' easy (or not), what 'it' are you referring to? I can agree with Max and Steve.

    Max says it is hard. Agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is adopting the right mindset. I found this incredibly hard. After throwing away my last significant quit in 2008, it took another four years to find that mindset again - and this was after already having done it once. I knew what I needed to do, but I just couldn't get there.

    Steve says it is easy (or as easy as you want it to be). Again, agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is the process of quitting, once you've found that mindset. Something clicked very early on and I found this quit easy, once it was underway.

    If I only know why, I would bottle it and get rich:D:D

    I think the "it" I refer to is the withdrawal, the physical and psychological withdrawal from nicotine which IMO, can go on for several weeks even months, as some people who have gone back to smoking after a very long time quit have proven... For me personally I don't know if it's the lack of serotonin or what but it's a known fact that the process of quitting smoking can cause a feeling of anxiety and or depression sometimes people can't deal with that feeling which leads them back to fags to make them feel "normal" again which as I for one know very well then leads you back to being hooked on smoking but hating it and continually trying to quit, it's exhausting...On the other hand some people don't suffer very much at all with withdrawal and find quitting relatively easy, so I do think it depends a lot on each individual as it's proven on the forum no quitting experience is the same ;)

  • I can only speak from my own experience, of course, but apart

    from one or two days early on my quit has been perfectly easy.

    Sorry :o

    Listen, I was as scared of quitting as everyone else...

    ...I figured I'd need superhuman willpower. I fully expected to

    suffer months of sleepless nights. Endure perpetual cold sweats.

    Mood randomly swinging between psychosis and helplessness.

    Eventually...inevitably...I'd realise how weak I am and would fail.

    That was my realistic expectation on Day Zero.

    After all: I've smoked more than 250,000 ciggies in my life...not

    what anyone could call a social habit. My addiction is plain to see.

    So call it a positive mindset, determination, a sheer flipping fluke,

    whatever.

    Quitting really needn't be as challenging as the scaremongers

    (aka the nicotine industry) would have you believe.

    Don't listen to me...answer this instead. I wish I could be so

    eloquent:

    Imagine you're swimming underwater when something incredibly

    strong grabs one of your legs and won't let go.

    You know you've only got a minute or two to break free or you'll

    drown.

    How hard do you fight to break that grip?

    How much do you want to reach the surface?

    Is there any way you're going to give up that fight?

    If you approach quitting smoking with that kind of intensity, you

    can't fail.

    How bad do you want it? -- Tales from the quit

    Don't make excuses. Freedom is yours.

  • ...drunken ramblings...

    Pub?

    Again?

    On a week night?

    Oh the shame:D:D

  • Pub?

    Again?

    On a week night?

    Oh the shame:D:D

    Business trip to Glasgow. What's a man to do?

    :D

  • Business trip to Glasgow. What's a man to do?

    :D

    LOL - I read you like a book. Been there and done it:D:D

  • LOL - I read you like a book. Been there and done it:D:D

    In my defense, I started writing my reply pre-beer.

    So I'm just as sanctimonious when I'm sober.

    Tee hee.

    :)

  • Oh dear I was trying to quote the Kevin Foster bit :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    :):)

    Here's the original:

    talesfromthequit.com/how-ba...

  • Love this thread, ticks all the right boxes for me and wise words indeed. It really does have to be the single most important thing you do, with everything else pushed down the order of daily priorities. Get to the end of today and if you achieve nothing else, be able to say 'at least I didn't smoke today'. And be pleased and proud of that.

    Which is actually quite hard, given that the demons that have to be acknowleged and conquored are in your own head. Anxiety, boredom, stress, even depression can be part of quitting. But repeated conscious choice, to not smoke one day at a time is what it really takes, for as long as it takes. Every day...repeat...repeat...and sooner or later the subconscious 'gets it' and then it's much easier. But even then we have to manage our complacency.

    It can take a huge level of stamina and I won't say if you want it badly enough you'll do it, but would urge that you have (or quickly find) the self belief to know for sure that you're capable - yes you can! :)

  • Yes I like this thread too, it really illustrates how different everybody's experiences can be.

    Egg's original post is so powerful and reflects what happened to me, I really did have to cling on in the beginning and wait for that moment when all the books I'd read came true!

    You really do see the lie and the thought of picking up a cigarette again becomes ridiculous. It does cross my mind but I'm starting to feel like a non smoker who looks and thinks 'Why on earth would you do that?':D

    Happy days.

  • But when you talk of finding 'it' easy (or not), what 'it' are you referring to? I can agree with Max and Steve.

    Max says it is hard. Agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is adopting the right mindset. I found this incredibly hard. After throwing away my last significant quit in 2008, it took another four years to find that mindset again - and this was after already having done it once. I knew what I needed to do, but I just couldn't get there.

    Steve says it is easy (or as easy as you want it to be). Again, agreed, if the 'it' you're talking about is the process of quitting, once you've found that mindset. Something clicked very early on and I found this quit easy, once it was underway.

    If I only knew why, I would bottle it and get rich:D:D

    I love this post.

    It's all too similar to one I wrote seven years ago.

    If you can find the 'off' switch then smoking becomes history at its flick.

    We can rant, discuss, argue about addiction, habit, craves & dependency for as long as we've breath but ultimately finding the switch is the goal.

    The sooner that's understood, the easier a quit's going to be. ;)

  • Steve

    It's great that your quit feels easy :D

    There are people who find this easy-I myself had almost no craves at all,thank God.:p

    So yes,for whatever reason,fluke,mindset,luck,right time-some people find quitting easy.

    However most people do NOT find quitting easy and for most people it's a damned long bitter and at times crippling slog :eek: ,so I think that telling people in a blasé slightly offhand manner that quitting is easy is not especially helpful,to the majority who are clinging onto their quits like barnacles-because for those people that method of clinging WILL work but only if they keep hanging on!. :)

    So keep hanging on in their,people :D

    Max,

    Don't accuse me of being "blasé and offhand" about quitting.

    Steve

  • Max,

    Don't accuse me of being "blasé and offhand" about quitting.

    Steve

    Ladies please

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