Day 4. Today I was thinking that there must be a link between addiction and the reasons behind starting smoking in the first place. Perhaps understanding those reasons, or reevaluating them today will help me stay away free. Hope and will is all I have and clinging on it!
For me all started when I was at uni, away from home, wanting to be part of the group and more people were smoking then than today. Plus, at 17 I was not really bothered about the negative effects of smoking. In my defense – second- third –passive – etc smoking were not notions that we were familiar with and info was not so readily available. Local support was also non-existent. You only stopped smoking (or rather took a break) when you were sick.
As I look back, smoking was always part of who I was – an outgoing personality. Plus, a coffee or a drink without a cigarette – was unreal.
This is my 4th free day and I am afraid more about the effects of non-smoking on my behavior than on my health and looks as time goes by. I am approaching the end of the first free smoke week and already see the positive changes in my behavior – less mood changes, less grumpy and more positive. However, I also see the negatives - less chatty, less sociable and professionally less the one leading and initiating things but instead taking a step back.
Is this normal – an adapting phase or something else? Of course smoking is not an option for me anymore but I will hate to think that some aspects of my “who I am package” will be changed or whatever.
Am I overdramatizing things or you also had this feeling?