I'm sorry but this is a moan to all on this forum.
Firstly, I am plucking up the courage to make an appointment with the Doctor about my symptoms but as yet I remain defiant as my last visit was somewhat uncomfortable!!... In a nutshell, I was told that I could only discuss ONE health problem/concern at any one given appointment!!! WT*???!!
I recently had a very bad cold/cough which is more than likely related to this season's trend and working in a school, but since then the cold has made my PND worse...my mouth tastes weirdly sweet every time I swallow my saliva and I feel as if there is a 'fur-ball' growing at the back of my throat. I must admit I have not really experienced the 'ex-smokers cough' that many of you have talked about and certainly haven't experienced the 'clearing' of lungs...but I know my mouth/throat does not feel right!
I do however have a Dentist appointment this Friday! So, at least will find out whether it is a dental problem or not!
I am still struggling with my energy levels...and the weather isn't helping much either...it really is a case of come home...get into bed and do nothing else...however, now I remain wide awake till past midnight and then suffer in the morning!!
I am bored...bored of everything...TV, friends, work, life etc...I have no passion, no drive left in me! I feel like a miserable moany b1tch...in fact I was told today that I would make the perfect villain in my school Panto!!!
I think my problem is that I expected to be hop, skip and jumping my way to feeling 17 years old again if I gave up smoking...and I don't, I feel worse than I did when I smoked!
Oh! And for those of you who may have read my first ever post, I mentioned one previous failed quit attempt due to vanity....I grew a beard of spots, well move over Movember...I got myself a bright red, sore and flakey Beardember once again! The first time round I thought it was an allergic reaction to the patches, this time round I have used no NRT and yet they have still reared their ugly heads...I feel so UGLY!!!!
So, I not only feel like sh1t in general but I look like it too!
SOMEBODY ON THIS FORUM, PLEASE TELL ME THAT IT TRULY IS A CASE OF IT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER????????
AND NOT THAT I WISH THIS FEELING UPON ANYBODY BUT SOMEBODY OUT THERE SURELY MUST KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH....?
I am on such a low despite the fact that it's Christmas and tis the season to be jolly but I really don't feel it right now. A proper BAH HUMBUG!!!
HOWEVER...I AM 159 DAYS SMOKEFREE AND INTEND TO BE SMOKEFREE FOR ETERNITY BUT WITH HINDSIGHT.... IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW...I NEVER EVER EVER WOULD HAVE STARTED THIS FILTHY DISGUSTING DEBILITATING HABIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Newcomers - Please do not be put off by this post...continue with your quit regardless of what your quit may bring - EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT, AND NO TWO QUITS ARE THE SAME FOR ONE PERSON EITHER!
All I want for Christmas, is to feel HEALTHY AND HAPPY once again!
Miserable Moany Mimi xxx