:mad: not a happy chappy this morning! Me and my other half are struggling this year to afford Christmas and have already told both families that we are only buying for our son as thats all we can afford - we are still goning to struggle to find money to buy his presents hummff
So my partners boss has told him not to come in to work as its too icy and he cant work on the roof (funny that the bosses son will still be going in and working on stuff inside the house that my partner is more than able to help with!!) - he was told not to come in last thursday (too icy) and sent home early yesterday (no work) but again yesterday the bosses son stayed on to work???
I told my OH this morning to request Statutory Garanteed pay to cover today and last thursday which is massively short compared to what he would earn but at least its something...but my OH wont ask...because he is a TIT!!!!!! He thinks his boss will tell him no yadda yadda....HELLO!!! Then you just say "INDUSTRIAL TRIBUNAL".....
My god...his boss infuriates me....sends my partner home early on one day and then demands he works late the next and pays him single time because he didnt go over hours during his working week as a whole...sly dog!!!! I swear to god I am ready to go to war on this guy...I have had enough of his sly tatics, you can read his every move like a dodgy chess player.....gives him short hours for weeks but just enough work that he can't apply for voluntary redundancy and then tries to pay him holidays based on his last few weeks earnings (he paid the full holidays after I had words about that one!!! :mad:)..my partner wont stand up to him and its always me that has to fight his corner...I wish he would just grow a set!!!! If only I could buy him a pair for christmas!!
Arrrrhhh!! So I will be spending my lunch today scouring the internet for evening work to try and make ends meet :mad:
First time this morning I really really wanted a smoke...but I havent...besides I couldn't afford to even if I did cave :rolleyes:
Sorry Guys...I had to get that off my chest...
"stomps off to find a brown paper bag to breath in to"
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Ah Loopy. It is so tough to see injustice and it sounds like you are very bright and competent and dont take shit from anybody. I do feel sorry for your partner, he gets all this crap thrown at him at work and then when he tells you, you tell him to grow a set. Shot by both sides . Sometimes anger is good and sometimes it just makes everyone feel worse.
I do feel better now I have ranted...the OH shut me in the living room with my inhalator because I was soo angry this morning.
I know I must sound the devil mrsm but my partner really does line himself up for my wrath sometimes. He knows that I would fight tooth and nail for my family but he doesn't seem to want to carry out the simplest of tasks..all he has to do is write garanteed stat pay on his timesheet - to be honest I think his boss would pay it without fuss rather than have me on the end of the phone but my OH gets rather nippy with me every time I mention it. He said he will only ask for it if his boss can claim it back from the government????? What!!!!
My other half has a nasty habit of not dealing with things and just assumes they will fix themselves by some miracle...he could put an ostrich to shame in a head burying contest :rolleyes:
Trust me...he had a go at me because it took "me" soooo long to apply for his provisional license!!!!! What????!!!..and he wanders why I get so mad sometimes...my god lad!! Youre going out with a red-headed Aries!! what do you expect!!
I'm not always a mad head...I promise I like enya...I can't be that angry a person surely!!
My other half has a nasty habit of not dealing with things and just assumes they will fix themselves by some miracle...he could put an ostrich to shame in a head burying contest
sorry love - your his fix it fairy, his boss is an a$$ he knows how short jobs are, and most men will avoid conflict at work, unlike us ladies who will hunt ppl down over injustices.
As for this xmas have you tried hotukdeals? ive managed to get loads for the kids but not spent too much, and i know its not much good for this year, but get the love to shop card, even £5 a week will make sure you've got £200 for next year i do it every year as im rubbish at saving and i buy things that are reduced and stash them in the attic, looks like ive spent a bomb and i havent really, and ive told the kids not to ask for too much cos theres a recession on and santa had to lay off some elves so kids in care get priority this year (know that sounds harsh but they know we have to work to earn - and so do they, once they turned 2 they got chores ((put shoes on rack hang up coat, one toy away before you get another out that kind of stuff at first )) them that dont work dont get treats in our house)
and well dont for not caving (i remember being skint but having £6 for fags EVERY DAY) you can and will manage cos your fab xxx
But there's a difference between discussion and conflict isn't there?
I would say nobody, male or female, wants conflict in their work life as you have to carry on working with these people day in day out!
I'm not saying we should be eternally grateful for our jobs and not say boo to a goose but sometimes the easy path is the best way to go for our own sanity is it not?
Come to think of it....maybe it is men that do this as we cant be bovvvered!
:rolleyes: nifty continues to paint himself in to the corner!
Thanks guys...we have "I hope" come to a solution. OH phoned earlier and demanded to know if I had contacted his boss about the GSP and I said no why? He then "sounding calmer" said he just wandered...so I took from this that he had thought about it a little and I calmly said that all he needed to do is write Garanteed Stat Pay on his timesheet and if his boss mentioned it just to play daft and say that I had told him to write it and I had said his boss would know what it was...his boss would probably not quiz it with OH because he always jokes that I wear the trousers in our family...I think OH might just pluck up the guts to do it, I really hope so as every penny counts at the moment.
As I type he had just phoned to say his boss phoned him to say head into work, the roof has defrosted. He also knows that my OH doesn't drive and there are no buses where we live (in the sticks)..lucky his mum is running him down now so at least he will get 2.5 hrs work..better than nothing!
I will check out hotukdeals sassy-mama sounds like a brill idea too with the love to shop card!! and no you dont sound harsh about your spending on the kids, just organised and sensible!!...we are spending £150.00 on our son this year but I know others that are spending about £800.00 on each kid...I only wish I had that money The £150.00 we are spending includes a innotab2 which I think is expensive at £62.00 (on offer too) stocking treats will be a few little things from the pound shop...Last year we only spent £130.00 on him and he was as pleased as punch bless him.
I did something smart this year and opted into the christmas scheme for our clubcard points so at least we will have a little something for next christmas woohoo!!
I am such a tight fisted devil when it comes to money I can't understand how I managed to justify spending money on fags for sooo long!!! It baffles me!!
Nifty my friend...you don't paint yourself into a corner..and sure if you did at least you would brighten it
my total christmas spend is £400 on ALL my family, ive been straight with them and said dont spend a fortune because im not and i know you dont have it spare again tight but honest,
I was talking to my mum and i remember (not too many years ago) we got stockings (chocolate coins, selection box, 2 small toys, crayons or pencils or felts, and a bumper colouring book set)
3/4 pressies then a "main" pressie, the rest was bits & bobs of aunts and uncles, (i had 15 of them and only 3 of them had kids) so our tree always looked well full.
Im always the one to actually say this is silly, stop spending stupid money.
And at first i get eyerolls and tuts then one by one ppl whisper you were right but honestly i dont care, if you dont like my choices tell me so i can knock you off my shopping list
We agreed as a family not to buy prezzies for each other at all, after the initial "You can't do that!!!!" everybody loves it now.
The extended family is pretty large so we just buy for my brothers two boys and the two mothers....
The other half and I don't buy for each other either, what's the point?
It's the same money so if we wanted anything "massivley" through the year we would get it, Christmas is just nice to be off work, together, able to do what we want - when we want to and relaxed!
Not worrying about taking another pair of gloves back to BHS!
Just right Nifty and Sassy Mama -times are getting harder every year by the seams of things :rolleyes:
We had to put all our presents on a credit card last year because we couldn't afford it...we managed a budget of £440.00 for everyone. Thats not an option this year hence us only buying for the little one.
Karri - I know I sound harsh and like I treat my OH badly but we have a child, a mortgage and bills to pay someone has to push things that in the past have been let go. I wish I didn't have to be the one to nag but trust me my OH is best not left to his own devices, he would even agree with that. I have only ever spoke to my partners boss with my partners knowledge and consent - I did not contact his boss but have asked my partner to request the GSP on his timesheet. By law he is entitled to this payment and has already refused to ask in the past at a loss to us of just over £100.00 - we really cannot afford to loose this kind of money. But I do appreciate where you are coming from and your point is very valid.
Oh Loopy, I dont think you sound harsh, you are just doing your best.I have to say though that 150 on a 3 year old is quite a lot. I also hate it when families only buy for kids. Mine are young adults now - youngest 18 but for the 2nd year running we have a maximum spend of a tenner each, and everyone has to buy everyone something. When my kids were younger it was a 50 pound maximum with 1 person getting something better if there was a need, and from infancy the children gave presents too. I think it has worked because we all try hard to get things people will like and there truly is as much pleasure in seeing someone elses delight, but I could not bear not to have presents, I'm not that unselfish, and I would hate my kids to be so selfish that they didnt care. And heres a secret, me and hubby give each other a sneaky additional present in the morning., and my adult kids do also get stockings, but our total spend will be £200.00.
Loopy, I hope you haven't bought the innotab2 because its £49.75 on Amazon. If you have bought it perhaps you could return it. Not the first time I've done that.
On another note. My ex was the same. Wouldn't stand up for himself. He was the group engineer for a luxury hotel chain and I phoned one of the directors and got us a big pay rise
i no the feeling my total spend on Xmas this year had bin 100 in total for all family.. buy one get one free stuff etc..
me and my OH lost our jobs his was 3 month ago and mine is a year so far (i did go back to uni not just sat on my ass btw). and had a job interview today.. fingers crossed
but i put on face book for all my friends dint get me anything for Xmas as i will not be getting you anything back.. just family this year.. and i bet there is someone that will get me something and i be like grrrrrrrr..
good luck shell xxx will wish for a job for you for xmas, and if someone does buy you a sneaky pressie, just give em a huuuge smile a big snog/hug (depends on who it is) and say thank you i thought id get nothing this year how nice of you to think of me and leave it at that they'll be well chuffed
Una - I did buy the Innotab - it was £60.00 and I saw the one on amazon but there was no garantee that it would be delivered before Christmas so I didn't risk it - but I will get more organised next year and get on hotukdeals :)...and do you want my OH bosses telephone number lol
My OH siblings have 4 children between them and every year we have bought for them but after last year I decided it would be easier for everyone just to buy for there own kids. We agreed £20.00 per child last year (they did want to spend £40.00 but I couldnt afford £160.00 on my own son never mind other peoples kids :rolleyes and I struggled to get for them at £20.00 per head - DS3d games (or whatever they are called) - well you cant get one of those for £20.00..eek!! I suggested giving them £20.00 cash so they could buy whatever they wanted in the sales and was told they wouldnt thank me for it...this year I just thought I would concentrate on my own son and thats it. Its hard to buy for people who's xmas budget is so different from your own - when I said I wanted to get everyones presents with only a budget of £400.00 I was laughed at and told that they had already spent more than that on each child and hadn't finished buying yet....!!!!! Even if I could afford that I don't think I would..but each to their own. One year my OH had to go on xmas eve at about 10.30pm until near 2.00am to help build the presents as they had that much stuff. Crazy!
Me and OH will buy each other a little something - maybe about £20.00 each so we have something for under the tree. We got the little mans first school photos so we will get 2 nice frames and give them as presents to the grandparents.
Next year in the run up to xmas I am gonna hound you guys for tips and ideas for chrimbo as you all sound like you have it well and truly nailed!!!!
Shellyinstoke - I hope all went well at your interview and have everything crossed for you!!!!! apart from my eyes as obviously that would make it really hard to type this post!!) xx
Finally got the tree up last night so I am starting to feel a bit chrismassy - ding dong!
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I like enya...I can't be that angry a person surely!!
princess month 2 thread
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Unhelpful partners/husbands? Advice?
