Reached 5 weeks despite the war within my head

Hello everyone :)

I am very pleased to have reached 5 weeks (well it's 37 days as of today) despite some serious provocation this week from whatever treacherous part of my subconcious mind still wants me to smoke! I am not going to make any assumptions but today has been a bit easier although I do feel extremely vulnerable in that if anything overly stressful were to ocurr (out of the ordinary) I don't know how much I trust myself not to smoke. I am absolutely determined not to smoke but I do feel like I have this little traitor in my head trying to trip me up or trick me! Has/does anyone else ever feel like that? I honestly do feel like there is something lurking and waiting to sabotage my rational mind! I don't want to smoke, I don't intend to smoke, but I'm still really anxious that I will smoke! I could go as far to say that there is a battle raging within me and I'm praying it's the rational side who wins.

Looking foward to tackling the next week. Each day I tick off is another day when I am still winning.

Lauren X

5 Replies

  • I am schizophrenic and so am I.

    Yes, I can relate. I remember having the same battle in MY head for several weeks. I thought of it as having an Evil Mr. Craving in my head. I had to learn to acknowledge his presence, hear him out, and then laugh at his pathetic persistence. He eventually gives up, if you don't take him too seriously.

    Good luck.

  • Totally normal for you to go through this battle stage... it's the addiction, it wants it's fix and it will throw you curveballs to get you to throw in the towel. I remember I used to cause fights or stressful situations just so I could justify me going back to smoking. Stay strong, breathe deeply, and know that this will definitely pass. Also take it really easy right now, do nice things for yourself, and remind yourself frequently of all the great reasons you are doing this! Well done so far, 5 weeks is really great. :)

  • Well done Lauren for reaching to week 5 :)

    as Belle and DGee both say its your smoking side trying every way possible especially with your emotions and moods to get you to give into its demands its normal ploy is to say

    one wont hurt

    so like in the early days you just have to try to ignore and distract it till it passes it and it will just try to keep a positive mind to whatever it throws at you by keep saying

    i will not smoke today

    you have the power now and you can keep it i always looked at my smoking side as a very annoying spoilt kid that had screaming tantrums but the more i ignored him he would go into a sulk and become quiet

    hope you have been treating yourself with all the money you have saved :)

  • Well done Lauren:)

    I am just 10 days ahead of you and I have had a few more wanting times over the last 10 days or so. I think what the others have said is right. We have to ignore that voice that tells us all will be well, or we'll feel better, if we smoke when we know deep down it won't be any different....and we'll have the added let down of having given in to a craving.

    You are doing great, so keep strong. xx

  • Hi Lauren,

    I felt just the same for quite a long time - don't know when it changed, it was a gradual thing, but I can promise you it does stop eventually :)

    Best thing I can do is refer you to the link in my sig. Keep on sawing!

    Helen x

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